


Fingers on Heartstrings

by orphan_account



Series: One giant clusterfuck of AUs [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Related, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, And stubborn, Angst, Bassist!Fili, Celebrity life is not easy, Fan!Kili, First Time, Happy Ending, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mischief, Multiple Orgasms, No brother incest, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex Toys, The boys being thick headed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 00:00:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili blinked once, twice, staring at Fili with wide eyes. "Oh my god." He choked out in recognition, his eyes widening a bit as he openly gaped at him. Of course. Of course it had to be-- it was his fucking luck. He had been babbling about his stupid crush to the object of his crush.<br/>He let his head drop on the table with a loud bang, letting out a pitiful whimper. "If someone would shoot me right here, I'd appreciate it, thanks."</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Fili is a member of a popular rock band and Kili is a fan with a huge crush on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hi yay, another au! Just a warning this one will have quite a lot of smutty scenes and scenes that will break your heart but the ending will be happy, promise!

What a day to be alive. And what a way to be alive. Basked in the crowd's screams and the flashing lights and the music all around him. His fingers dancing along the strings of his bass and then along his guitar before Fili picked up his bass again.

It was a long night.

A night filled with laughter and cheering and hoarse voices. A night filled with screaming fans and singing and playing musicians.

Ered Luin was on an upswing and Fili couldn't have been happier. They had worked hard, sung and played their instruments until their bodies were sore. Had played for very little money and dreamed of greater things.

And now it was finally happening. They had gotten a contract. Their fans had swarmed to them easily and with adoring eyes and their first single had hit the top five in no time. Several other songs had followed and finally, they were giving concerts. And Fili loved every minute of it, every loud and hectic and ecstatic heartbeat.

It was good to be alive.

But after everything was done and said, Fili was glad to stop into his hotel room, to slip off his beanie and let his hair tumble free. Few knew that his hair was actually this long since he usually tied it back into a bun and only let a couple of braids fall out to frame his face. Plus, the strands of the braids peeking out had been dyed in the colors of the rainbow. No one expected Fili to have a golden bun beneath his hat.

And it was a good thing that no one knew, too.

Because it allowed Fili to slip out of the hotel room after a shave and the removal of the hat. Add a a different style of clothes and few people looked at him twice and recognized him even less. This was probably coupled by the fact that Fili wasn't the lead singer of the band, neither the main guitarist. He played the bass and second guitar when it was required and a fiddle in his own spare time but none of that seemed very interesting to the young ladies screaming in the crowds. They wanted Jay and Fili couldn't blame them  
He also didn't envy his friend in the slightest.

So Fili was happy to sit on a wall in a park and to blow bubbles into the air while fiddling with the newest copy of their single.

As soon as the sun had come out to play, Fili had pulled his sunglasses down. He didn't really need them per see but the previous night had been long and his eyes were still red. Plus, there would be another concert in another part of the city tomorrow and it would be better if he rested his eyes. Besides, people would recognize him even less with the sunglasses on as he worse contacts on the stage and his regular glasses when he was alone.

No one knew, aside from his band mates, that he needed glasses. Hopefully, that would make the paparazzi wearier and they wouldn't spot him as easily.

Sighing happily at the peace and quiet, Fili lifted his head and continued to blow bubbles into the air. He watched the sun reflect in them and smiled, leaning back. But the action caused the CD to tumble from Fili's lap and he cursed, making a grab at it but it clattered to the ground before he could get a hold on it.

Kili, alerted by the noise of something hitting the ground paused his walking and turned to look around. For a moment he was confused, he couldn't stop the reason of the voice until the saw something glimmer in the sun and walked over to the object, picking it up.

He let out a small noise of surprise at the familiar CD, finally looking up the fence at the man with a small grin. "Should be more careful than that, they play good music." He tsk'ed him playfully, handing the CD back to the stranger.

Kili himself had fallen in love with the band from the first time he had heard of them nearly two years ago. It had been a rough single, but there was something in the music that caused his heart to beat quicker, his imagination to fly wild and the many cd's of the band quickly found their way in Kili's shelf.

Now, he was a fan, but he wasn't one of those crazy 'screaming and stalking' type of guy. In fact he usually hid his interest to the band in fear of being made fun of because the whole bay consisted of boys. That didn't stop him from going to the concerts though, or watching their interviews his eyes locked on the certain male all the time.

Fili.

There was something about the bassist, about his wild colored hair and his eyes that caught Kili's attention. He found himself watching how the older male's fingers danced on the bass strings and he found himself dreaming about said fingers as well.

He as well as many others hoped that maybe one day he could meet the band for real, but he knew how reality worked. Still, it didn't stop him from dreaming. Those dreams usually caused him to blush heavily and chastise himself, because he was a teenager and Fili was...well..an adult.

Kili sighed pushing his hands in his jeans pockets, the blue sleeveless hoodie framing his upper body and showing the tattoo on his arm (a simple tribal that connected with a phoenix) and sheltered his eyes from the sun.

“Thanks,” Fili said automatically and picked up the CD, storing it in the bag he was carrying. He gave the youth a look and took in the dark, mischievous eyes, the wild hair and the tattoo on his arm. Inside his own head, Fili hummed appreciatively and took note of how well toned the man's body was. Lovely. Very much so.

“And yeah, I guess they do.” Fili jumped down from the fence and leaned back against it, tilting his head slightly. “You into them?”

"You could say that." Kili replied leaning against the fence, surprised that the other one joined him. "Then again I suppose I could say the same to you." He added nodding towards the colorful braids in his hair smiling. "It suits you." He added touching his own hair. "But I don't think I could color my own hair to match a rainbow.."

“This?” Fili reached back and tugged at a couple of braids with a laugh. “That was my sister. She's into the band and asked me to go as one of them for Halloween. I gave in because I'm a softie and a sucker and she gave me this huge, kicked puppy look. How was I supposed to say no?” He grinned merrily and tilted his head at the man. “Nah, your hair looks good as it is. Such a nice, brown color had become pretty rare these days so you should definitely keep it.”

"Your sister made you go as Fili?" Kili asked clearly amused, leaning closer to look at the man with a calculating look. Now that he thought about it, the stranger did have some same resemblances with the bassist. "Mh...I guess you went well as him." He shrugged his shoulders with a small smile. "And yeah gotta admit I've been listening to them the past two years. Only missed one concert because of a flu actually." He smiled sheepishly, his cheeks coloring a shade of red.

Fili blinked. He had always noticed a couple of guys in the crowd that was usually filled with women but he hadn't expected to meet any of them. Usually, only women approached them or came to their talk shows, never the men. “Huh. A really big fan, if you've followed them for two years already. Didn't they only become more popular recently?”

"They hit their break through a while back, yeah." Kili beamed at that, rocking on his heels. "I was watching their show last night as well, and they have another one tomorrow, so I'm really trying to get there as well." He smiled running his hand through his hair. Why he was talking about this with a stranger, he didn't know. But it felt good to talk about something that he was passionate about.

“Do you already have a ticket?” Fili raised an eyebrow. Usually, they sold left over cards before the concert but recently, those had been getting sold out rather quickly. And he didn't want this young man to stand around, doing nothing because he had missed his chance.

And Fili was beginning to wonder. If he had been following the band all over the cities, how was he able to hold jobs? Or have his own apartment?

"I do." Kili smiled letting out a silent chuckle. "Got it in good time, they sold out soon after." He pushed his hands back in his pockets, tilting his head back a bit. "So, you must know something about them if your sister's into them." He teased lightly. "Whom do you like the best?"

“I can only tell you whom she likes the best,” Fili drawled out, playing the role of the exasperated older brother who had to listen to his sister gush all day quite often. “She's really into the guitarist. Nathan? Nolan? Something with an N, I think. Personally, I think Jay, the lead singer, seems like a decent fellow. Doesn't get the crowd too riled up and has a good head on his shoulders. Jokes around, too.”

"Nathan." Kili agreed with a nod, scrunching his nose a bit at the thought of the guitarist. Sure, he was alright as the singer was too but... "Not really in my opinion. I mean yeah the're great, but they're not my favorite."

“Oh?” Fili leaned back with a wide smirk. So finally someone was into Jack. Took people long enough. The red haired man had a good heart but very little fans so Fili was happy for every compliment their drummer got.

And it would probably cheer Jack up to hear a fan say something positive about him.

Kili chuckled fiddling with his fingers. "Personally, I've always been more of a Fili fan." He admitted his cheeks darkening red a bit. "I'm not sure exactly why...it's the way he plays the bass, it's so gentle and soothing, and sometimes when he sings in the background I strain to hear his voice. It's so smooth yet rough on the edges and I've just always loved it, you know?" He flashed the man a small smile. 

"From what I've gathered on him from the interviews and talk shows, he seems like an interesting person and while the whole band is awesome, I've always leant a bit more to his direction."

...Not what Fili had expected. Few people knew or even noticed that he sometimes sung along in the background, they usually assumed that it was a technical trick that was duplicating Jay's voice and that was that. And Fili had dutifully participated in the interviews where all of them had been invited but usually, Jay got more one on one interviews and Fili couldn't find any fault in that. Jay was great during interviews, joking and having fun and saying interesting things. And while Fili enjoyed them, too, he knew he just wasn't as witty as Jay so he threw in his own remarks when asked and joked around a little bit never too much.

It was curious to see that someone was still interested in him.

“Him? Huh. Hadn't thought about that.”

"Not many people tend to do that." Kili huffed clearly not liking the thought and sighed. "It's a pity. I think he's great and with his voice he could do solo albums without trouble, if the band for a reason or another would break up or in general if he decided to do it." Kili nodded smiling. "Then again, people like me tend to get to admire him from afar without much competition so.." He snickered silently, his cheeks red.

"Of course meeting him and the band would be a dream come true, but..." He lowered his gaze. "Reality is a bitch sometimes. If they'd see me, I doubt I'd manage to hold their interest for long."

“Hey, you never know.” Fili shrugged, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside from the compliments Kili was dishing out unknowingly. It felt odd to get acknowledged like this, he was used to hearing flattery for the band in general but personal compliments rarely happened.

“Maybe you'll get them to notice you and you'll get to talk to them one day, you'll never know.” It was during that moment that Fili finally realized that the young man was blushing. A crush? Hero worship, maybe?

"Yeah right, me and them? That's the moment I'll believe that I've been hit by a car and am dead." Kili chuckled brushing his hair behind his ear and smiled at the stranger.  
"Thanks for trying to cheer me up though." Kili said glancing at the clock from his phone and cursed, pushing himself away from the wall. "I gotta go before I'm late, but it as nice talking to you."

“Don't worry about it.” Fili waved a hand around and then tilted his head, humming thoughtfully. “I never got your name, you know.” Because Fili honestly wanted to know his name. Not because he wanted the young man to gush and squeal and fan boy over him to feed his own ego.

But because this young man seemed like a nice man whom Kili wanted to talk to more at a later date.

"Oh." Kili chuckled spinning around on his heels. "It's Kili. What about you?" He asked curiously, tilting his head a bit as he smiled at the older man.

Fili only smiled and pressed the container with the bubbles into Kili's hand. “That would be telling. I'll see you around, Kili. Pretty sure I will.” With that, Fili turned around and began the long trek back to the hotel.

Kili tilted his head curiously, watching the other man leave and chuckled. A mystery, that was what the guy was. Still, he was in high spirits after their talk and tomorrow he would see the band again so things were looking up. He smiled to himself before running down the path.


	2. Chapter 2

Fili hadn't expected the next concert to turn out quite this dour. It was an open air concert with only the stage mostly sheltered by a roof and the first couple of rows. So when the downpour had started, they had decided to continue but then they had to stop halfway through anyway as the rain grew heavier and heavier. 

Jay didn't want any of their fans to catch a cold and Fili had quietly agreed. Their manager had called up several buses to bring the fans home or to their hotels but some of them stayed anyway because they didn't have anywhere else to stay or simply enjoyed the rain. So the band decided to crash into the nearest tavern, which was thankfully mostly empty around this time of day.

And not so empty anymore once the band and the fans crashed it.

The band paid for most of the warm drinks and asked for blankets for the left over fans.

And then they mingled. Well, Jay and Nathan mingled, while Jack and Fili stayed near the bar and talked with the handful of fans which had gathered around them.  
During the entire time, Fili kept his eyes open, trying to find out if Kili was among the small thong of people.

To say that the downpour was bringing Kili's mood down would have been an understatement. He had looked forward to it, and then it got cancelled because of the freaking rain. Kili sighed nursing his beer in the tavern, wringing his hair dry from the water with a small chuckle.

He belonged to one of those fans without a home or hotel nearby, so they had decided to spend the night in the tavern and of course it was the plate the band would crash into. He kept stealing glances of Fili from the safety of his corner table, unable to shake the familiar feeling he got of the older man.

But still, he was so close to him and he couldn't move, admiring him from afar and honestly it was more than enough for Kili.

It was a joke from Jack that helped Fili spy the other man again. The joke was so terrible that Fili nearly choked on his beer, laughing loudly and groping around for a napkin to mop of the beer he'd spilled all over his hands.

That's when he saw Kili sitting at one of the far away tables. Grinning, Fili emptied his beer and placed the empty glass on the counter before he began to make his way over, side stepping stumbling fans and occasionally stopping to joke around and to answer questions and to sign something.

But once he was past the masses, he slid into the chair next to Kili. “Hello.”

Kili froze completely, his cheeks coloring bright red and his heart skipping a beat. It couldn't be. He had to be dreaming, that was the only explanation to what was happening. He lifted his gaze, looking around to spot someone else Fili could be talking to but no, there weren't anyone else close to him.

Swallowing thickly he finally looked up, meeting that one that stole his heart with his playing and words. "I...Hi." He managed to get out, licking his lips slightly and hit himself over the head mentally. Hi? Wow, sound any more disinterested would you?

“Hi,” Fili echoed with a soft chuckle and propped his head up on his hand, elbow on the table. “You seemed kind of lonely here in your little corner so I decided to come over, hope you don't mind.” Fili's was cheerful and relaxed and open and he waved over one of the waitresses to order two cokes.

“Sorry the concert got interrupted, we didn't really think the rain would get this bad. Did you enjoy it anyway?”

Kili nodded his head in thanks at the coke that was brought to them and bit his lip before looking at Fili. "I did. Even you can't control weather." He chuckled a bit, playing with his bottle.

“Nah. I'm working on it though,” Fili quipped and drank his coke greedily. Standing in the spotlights and then getting this arranged and talking to the fans had left his throat slightly dry. It might also have been the sight of water running down Kili's neck and drenching his dark hair.

“So did you end up using the bubbles or did you just throw them away?”

Kili blinked once, twice, staring at Fili with wide eyes. "Oh my god." He choked out in recognition, his eyes widening a bit as he openly gaped at him. Of course. Of course it had to be-- it was his fucking luck. He had been babbling about his stupid crush to the object of his crush.

He let his head drop on the table with a loud bang, letting out a pitiful whimper. "If someone would shoot me right here, I'd appreciate it, thanks."

“Nope, sorry, no can do,” Fili laughed and pulled off his beanie to place it on Kili's head so the young man had something to hide behind. And something to dry his hair with. “I can't legally carry a gun and I don't think the owner of this place would appreciate getting blood and bits of brain all over the table.”

It wasn't that bad of a joke but Fili still quieted down after to let Kili get over his embarrassment in peace.

"I thought the stranger looked familiar but..." Kili took the beanie hiding himself behind it, then realized it was Fili's beanie and let out another punched out noise. Because how was this his life?

"Oh god I could actually die from embarrassment, can that be logically possible? I feel like it could be." Kili said silently.

“You can't die from embarrassment. Though I'm pretty sure you can get a stroke if you get too excited and panic too much so calm down.” Fili's voice was warm as he grinned at Kili. “I'm just another human being and you already talked to me just fine yesterday. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself, it happens to the best of us.”

"Bet this doesn't happen to everyone." He grumbled but straightened up again, holding the beanie before his face to cover his beet red cheeks as he stared at Fili. "B-But you were there and I was talking and oh my god you heard it all."

“And?” Fili blinked at Kili and gave the other a confused look. “Do you think I'll despise you now? That I think you're weird and a freak for crushing on someone from a boy band? It happens all the time, Kili. That's nothing to be ashamed about.”

"I just never talk about it to anyone. And the moment I do, it's to the said person himself and I don't even realize it?" Kili asked with a huff, placing the beanie back on the table and took a sip from his coke, slowly calming down again.

Fili was right, they had had a normal talk yesterday and it helped him relax a bit.

“That is a little embarrassing,” Fili teased and pulled his beanie back on, not wanting to be seen too much with his bun out though the chances of the other fans having snapped photos of the occasion was probably all over twitter already. And spreading like wildfire over other social platforms, too.

“But you know who I am now, I know who you are. Well, at least I know your name but not much else. Come on, tell me more. I'm curious.”

"You? Curious of me?" Kili chuckled shaking his head disbelieving and leaned against his arm. "There's not much to tell about me honestly. I'm 18, like to travel and see the world. I'm actually from Michigan, decided that I want to see around and left."

“Did you finish your education?” Fili asked quietly and suddenly felt as if he was forty four instead of twenty one. He worried about his fans a great deal and he would hate to see such a bright young man giving up on his future because of a fleeting addiction to a band.

"Not really. I've never been a school person so to say." Kili replied shaking his head a bit. "I couldn't stand the...mechanism of it all. Like everyone were robots, prepared to go through the same things over and over for the next four years." He made a face at that. "So since my mom ran away with our neighbors man, I decided it was time for me to leave too."

Fili hummed thoughtfully and emptied his glass with coke. Some people lived that way, some another. As long as Kili hadn't finished his education because of the band, Fili wouldn't judge him at all. If that was the life Kili had chosen for himself, it was a good life, too.

“How old were you when she ran off with your neighbor?”

"15." Kili replied waving it off like it meant nothing. "Took care of myself after that." He said taking a sip of the coke and grinned a bit. "I work part time where I can so I can afford living on the road, hitch rides now and then, wash on rest stops or motels if I can afford them and so on. Travel around. See things I haven't seen before." He smiled.

“But you still manage to come to every concert?” There was doubt in Fili's voice. Not because he doubted Kili had come to each of their concerts but because maybe it wasn't the right things to spend his money on. But then again, Kili was a fully grown man, an adult. He could make his own decisions.

"Expect the one when I got the flu. Otherwise yeah." Kili chuckled tilting his head back. "Being on road...you have to have a goal you reach to, otherwise you get lost big time."

“So you decided to follow us around?” Fili raised both eyebrows, then shrugged and grinned, ordering another coke for both of them. “That's dedication. Didn't think there'd be anyone determined enough to do that. Not with us.”

"Why not." Kili chuckled shrugging his shoulders. "Your music was what got me through those two years I lived alone at home. Besides traveling like this, I might find a place in this world you know? A place I belong to," He smiled a bit.

“Sounds like a good plan,” Fili agreed and nudged the second glass of coke over to Kili to encourage him to drink. He wouldn't be surprised to find out that the other man didn't get to indulge himself like this very often. “And if our music helped you get through this all, even better.”

"I guess so." Kili smiled glancing at him before accepting the second bottle, drinking happily from it. "Totally worth it, just saying. Probably the weirdest place I've slept in while traveling has been a trash bin meant for paper. It was soft and dry." He snickered.

Fili knit his eyebrows together and took a look around. The fans were mostly crowded around the other band members or chatting among themselves, a little bit away from the table. So Fili dared to ask the question. “Do you have anywhere you can sleep tonight that isn't a trash bin? Or a bus stop.”

Kili looked honestly surprised by the question, shaking his head a bit. "I didn't expect the rain, so...I thought about staying here for as long as it's open, then ask to borrow some of the blankets and find a dry spot somewhere." He admitted.

Fili sighed. He took a sip from the coke and sighed again. Then he pulled out a notepad and scribbled something down on it. To others, it must have looked like he was giving Kili an autograph, especially when he slid it across the table with a small, friendly smile. “Here.” He'd written the name of his hotel and his room number on it. The band usually shared one huge bedroom but this time, they had each gotten their own, with a huge bed.

He wouldn't force Kili to come. But he only wanted the other man to be aware of the option.

Kili took the paper surprised, nearly choking on his coke as he opened it and read what was inside. Was Fili seriously offering him a place in _his_ room? True, it would be better then sleeping outside, but wouldn't that be bothering Fili? He barely knew him.

"You do realize I could be some psychotic murderer or something, right?" He asked quietly as he pocketed the note. "Are you sure?"

“Considering that you nearly passed out upon the thought that we'd already talked and that you had embarrassed yourself, I really doubt it. Besides, the place has pretty decent security. If you're going to stab me, I have a pretty nifty little button on my person that I can press and then they'll come running. Having a slightly paranoid manager is starting to pay off.” Fili smiled at Kili and shrugged his shoulders, a guileless look on his face.

But he knew of the risk he was taking and if his managed knew, he'd probably have freaked out by now over Fili's recklessness. “I'm sure.”

Kili smiled thankfully t him, glancing at the other fans around the tavern and nodded. "I'll consider about it." He promised taking another sip of the coke. "But if I do come, I'll...come by later. Just in case paparazzi's following you. Wouldn't want this to get all over the news about your 'new secret lover'." Kili teased.

Fili nodded and stretched out. “That would have been my next suggestion. I'll go and mingle with the other fans again now. Enjoy the evening. Drink some more coke, get something to eat, too. We're paying for the tab so order whatever.”Fili pushed himself up and held out his hand to Kili. “It was good to talk to you again.”

"I'll look forward to seeing you again." Kili replied honestly giving Fili's hand a firm shake. "I still haven't got your autograph after all." He teased releasing his hold, returning back to nursing his coke.

Fili smirked and leaned in a little to give Kili his toothiest smile, a hint of a promise beneath it all. “I'm sure that can be arranged, Kili. We'll see each other around soon enough.” Fili pulled back and the smile turned friendly around the edges again. He waved to Kili before disappearing into the crowd.

Kili stared after Fili numbly, his cheeks bright red and his heart beating quicker. Who would have thought Fili would be like this in real life? This...approachable, this nice, teasing, mischievous...person. Kili shook his head a bit to clear it, taking Fili's words in his mind and ordered himself a proper meal.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in fire, three chapters and more coming. I have the whole story saved on my computer, it's more like cutting it to chapters and spell checking that takes time~

Fili was going through the collection of movies recorded on the hotel's TV when there was a knock on the door. He blinked, as if pulled out of his musings and then pushed himself to his feet. He was glad he had put on a comfy pair of pants after all, and not lazed around in his underwear.

Having a feeling that this was Kili, Fili made his way to the door and pulled it own, grinning when he saw the younger man. “Hi, come on in.”

Kili smiled shyly at the other man, glancing around the hallway before slipping inside and closing the door after him with a small sigh. Then he looked around the room, his jaw dropping open. "Holy shit it's like...three times as big as the rooms I usually bunk in." He blurted out looking up at Fili. "Erm, hi." He finally greeted with an embarrassed smile.

“The pros of having a naggy manager who makes sure that his boys get only the best of the best,” Fili answered with a laugh and gestured around. The bed was huge and the couch in the corner was just as big and as comfy looking. The TV in the corner looked nice, too, and the half open bathroom door revealed a shower and a tub.

“Hi. Feel free to take a look around but please, don't touch the instruments without permission.”

"Wouldn't dream about it." Kili replied lifting his hands up in a calming gesture before looking around the room again. Honestly, it was nearly too much for him to be in the same room than Fili, he wouldn't even think about blowing it because of instruments.

He tugged the hoodie off of him, leaving it to dry on a chair and glanced at Fili. "Do you mind lending me a towel? I'd rather not drip all over the room." He gestured to his wet hair and clothes.

“Not at all. They're in the bathroom. But I think you should shower or take a bath either way. You've been out in the rain for longer than I have and I wouldn't want you to catch a cold.” Gently, Fili nudged Kili's arm and then walked over to the bathroom, pushing the door open and, resolutely, did not stare at Kili's chest. At all.

"Cute, who would have thought of you as a mother hen." Kili teased with a grin but he was thankful of the promise of a hot bath and quickly agreed to it. He turned the tabs on, testing the water temperature before plugging the tub and started to strip out of his clothes.

“I wasn't lying when I said that I had a younger sister.” Fili chuckled and watched Kili fiddle with the tabs but quickly turned around and closed the door once Kili started stripping. He leaned against it and stared up at the ceiling. “Parents weren't around very often because of work so I took care of her most of the time.”

Kili turned his head a bit, surprised that Fili staid behind the door to talk to him but he was thankful. He sunk in the warm water, a satisfied groan leaving his lips as he got enveloped by pure bliss and sighed happily. "That's nice of you. How old is she now?"

“She turned seventeen two weeks ago. She's almost done with high school, too.” Part of what Fili made went towards her college education. Their parents had worked hard to give her the chance to go to whichever college she wanted to without having to worry about money but Fili thought that it couldn't hurt to fluff up her college fund with some of his own cash.

“Her name is Noelle.”

"She sounds like a nice person." Kili smiled hugging his knees against his chest and closed his eyes for a moment. He had always wondered how it felt to have a younger brother or sister, but when his mother left he was thankful he was the only child. He wasn't so sure he would have had been able to take care of a younger sibling.

He sighed dumping himself under the water, surfacing again and running his hand through his hair with a smile as he started to wash the cold and dirt from his skin. "How did you end up in the band if you don't mind me asking?"

“School,” Fili answered easily and finally pushed away from the wall to pick up his guitar. He began to fiddle with the knobs, twisting and turning a little before he played a couple of notes. “Jay was my senior, Jack and Nathan were both a grade above Jay. I met Jay, we became friends though our joint love for music and the others soon came along for the ride. We used to meet in Jay's cellar to practice and to write songs.”

"Just like in the movies." Kili chuckled listening Fili start to pluck on the strings and smiled. "Well I'm glad you did meet, as well as the rest of your fans." He added finally standing up from the bath, draining the tub and taking one of the fluffy towels to dry himself in.

He eyed the wet clothes and shook his head, hanging them to dry before wrapping the towel around his waist and opened the door. "Besides, you're all talented."

Fili looked up when Kili opened the door again and shot him a brief smile. His gaze lingered slightly on Kili's bare chest before he looked down again and continued to strum away at his guitar. “We're doing well so far and I'm happy about it. It took us a long time to really get going and you would laugh now if you heard our first couple of songs.”

"Maybe, but practice makes perfect." Kili replied walking to his bag he had left by the door and knelt down rummaging for clean clothes for him to use. "I think you're all doing a great job." He added flashing Fili a smile, wriggling into a pair of briefs without dropping the towel.

“Thank you.” Fili grinned at Kili just in time to see the other wriggle on his briefs. Thank god for the towel. Fili raised both eyebrows before he stood up to put the guitar away again. He grinned when he noticed the bunch of photos his manager had given him stashed away in the case. He always wanted the band members to carry around pictures to sign but Fili had put them into the case and the forgotten them.

“You still want that autograph?”

Kili turned his head a bit surprised before smiling again. "I'd love to." He agreed finding his sweaters and pulled them on his legs before removing the towel, not bothering with the shirt just yet. It was too hot in the room anyway. He used the towel to properly dry his hair instead.

Fili patted his pants for a pen and then rummage around in the desk's drawers. Pleased with himself for having found one, he signed the photo with his name and then added a 'For Kili' in the corner. “Done. I took the liberty of adding who it's for, hope you didn't mind.” Fili looked over his shoulder and flashed Kili a grin, allowing himself to ogle a little bit.

Mmh. Nice.

"Not at all, feels more personal this way." Kili replied with a chuckle, leaving the towel to hang around his neck as he motioned towards the bathroom. "I put the wet clothes to dry, hope you don't mind." He smiled walking over to Fili, peering down at the picture.

“Nah. They should be dry by tomorrow morning so I don't mind at all. We're leaving the hotel tomorrow so.” Fili nodded and held out the photo to Kili so he hold get a look at it. Once it was handed over, he flopped down on the bed and stretched out. “Want to watch a movie?”

"Sure thing." Kili smiled walking back to his bag, pocketing the photo in the safety of the many pockets and finally pulled on a shirt, hanging the towel to dry and took his comb running it through his hair. "What did you have in mind?"

“I haven't really picked one out yet. We could watch Sleepy Hollow or we could watch Little Miss Sunshine... The Help. Inception,” Fili said as he read the list of movies recorded on the TV out loud. “Any of that strike your fancy?”

"Inception sounds like a good movie." Kili replied turning around, thinking about a moment before shuffling over to the couch and settled in it. He didn't want to push Fili too much after all, not wanting to seem stalkerish or anything like that.

Fili looked over to where Kili was curled up in the couch and raised both eyebrows but didn't push either. If Kili felt more comfortable on the couch, that would be fine. Besides, Fili barely knew him. He should keep his distance as well.

“Inception it is.” He started the movie and grabbed a pillow to shove under his chin to make himself comfortable. “Right, I forgot to ask. Do you want the bed or the couch later?”

Kili lifted his head shaking it quickly. "I'll take the couch, you need the proper sleep because unlike I, you have a concert to do tomorrow." He reasoned settling comfortable on the cushions. Honestly it was a lot lumpier than first looked and he would probably have a sore back and neck in the morning, but he wasn't complaining.

It was still softer than some of the places he had slept in.

“Alright.” Fili nodded and focused on the movie again. He reminded himself to give Kili pillows and a blanket after the movie but it had been a rather long day for him and halfway through the movie, Fili dozed off.

Honestly, Kil i wasn't that surprised to hear the soft snoring soon from the bed and smiled a bit. It had probably been a long day for the band and Fili needed the rest. He snuck out of the couch, using the remote to turn the movie a bit more silent before pulling the blanket over Fili's body to keep the other warm.

He froze there, staring down at Fili with a soft smile. When did he become a maid for the other boy? A...companion of a sort? He shook his head a bit, running his hand tentatively through Fili's hair before he returned to the couch, curling into it.

Fili curled up under the blanket, pulling it up to his chin. He didn't wake from the touch on his hair and just burrowed himself deeper under the blanket. He only muttered something intelligible and continued to snooze.

It was only a while after the movie had ended that he woke up and Fili blinked around tiredly, trying to figure out where he was.

Kili had fallen asleep on the couch, his still damp hair framing his face and his coat pulled up and around him out of habit. He was smiling a bit, sleeping peacefully and better than in a long time, his sore muscles thankful of the somehow soft place to lay on and rest.

Fili looked down at his blankets and then to Kili. His mouth fell open at the realization and he grinned slightly before he got up and draped the warm blanket over the younger man. Then he walked back to the bed and grabbed the largest pillow he could find and carefully stuffed it beneath Kili's head, hoping it wouldn't wake the other man.

Kili shifted a bit as he was lifted up for the pillow, his lips parting and eyebrows drawing together before letting out a small sigh and relaxing again. Usually he was a light sleeper, you never knew what dangers laid ahead on the road. But now it was like his body was taking up on the possibility to rest properly and Kili was out like a light.

He wet his lips, turning around and burrowing in the blanket with a smile, fingers catching on Fili's own.

Fili smiled at the sight the younger man made and let his fingers linger against Kili's for a little while. Kili look exhausted and worn and tired and Fili didn't doubt that living on the road, not sleeping in too comfortable places had gotten to him. Silently, Fili crouched down next to the couch and gave Kili's fingers a tiny squeeze as he reached out to brush the hair away from Kili's face.

Then Fili stood again and wandered back to the bed, curling up under the left over blanket, falling asleep rather quickly once more.

When Kili awoke in the morning, it took him a good five minutes to remember where he was and with whom. He smiled a bit, pushing himself to sit up on his knees and stretched his arms above his head with a yawn. The blanket pooled around his waist and he turned his head peering out of the window above the couch, sheltering his eyes from the sun.  
For once in a long time, he felt good, warm and comfortable. 

His hair was a mess and he tugged on it gently, watching the rays play with them before he smiled, leaning against his arms and stared outside. They were high above the ground and the view was something breathtaking.

Fili, on the other hand, as hidden completely beneath the blankets, only a lump indicating that he was actually occupying the bed. While he loved sunlight, appreciated it even and would have enjoyed the sight of Kili sitting on the couch and enjoying the morning, Fili was simply too exhausted to get up yet.

He was awake but he still wanted to enjoy the silence of the moment, the peace and the calm.

Kili turned his head a bit to catch a glimpse of the lump on the bed and snickered amused. So Fili wasn't a morning person then. It was a good thing they still had time before he'd have to go prepare for the concert then.

He focused back on the world outside, running his hand through the mess of hair and peered at the people. They looked like ants, almost. Maybe just a bit bigger than ants. Spiders then.

He shuddered. No spiders.

After another half an hour of lazing about, Fili finally sighed and began to rise. He slipped a leg out first, then then other. Then he practically slid out of the bed and leaned his back against the side. He had rather low blood pressure and mornings were hell for him. Counting slowly inside his head, Fili breathed in and out and in again before he pushed himself up.

He looked over to Kili and shot the other a sleepy smile. “Morn'n. Breakf'st?”

Kili had turned around startled when Fili had practically fallen on the bed, looking at him concerned. "Yes please...are you alright?" He asked carefully, shifting his feet over the couch and on the floor.

“Mh. Low blood pressure,” Fili managed to slur out and shuffled over to the phone on the desk, lifting it and dialing in a number. He waited for a couple of minutes before someone picked up. “'lo. This is room 612. I'm ready for breakfast whenever you are.” He listened to the affirmative from the other side before he ended the call. He hadn't bothered to order double, he wasn't much of a breakfast person and people would get suspicious if he ordered for two.

"Oh." Kili nodded in understanding, knowing too well how that felt. He had gone through some bad days as well. He stretched again finally rising up from the couch with a small wince, rubbing his back. "Well you'll get food soon, and you'll feel better."

“Don't eat much in the mornings. Drink orange juice,” Fili explained and then disappeared into the bathroom. Well, orange juice and shower though that mixture wasn't always good. Today it worked, however, and Fili came back just in time for someone to knock on the door.

He shot Kili a meaningful look and gestured to the blind spot behind the door.

Kili nodded in understanding, dashing behind the door and pressed himself flat against the wall, clapping a hand before his mouth so he wouldn't break up giggling. Because this felt just like they were actually dating and couldn't get caught by their mother or something like that.

Fili shook his head amused, then answered the door. He chatted with the room service for a little bit before he paid and tipped the woman. Happily, he took the tray from her hands and closed the door before wandering over to the table and setting the tray down. “Breakfast has been served, my lord.”

"My lord?" Kili asked amused, daring to step out once the door had closed and shot Fili and amused look. "You forget whom of us is the star here." He teased snatching and apple, biting down on it and leaving the orange for Fili.

“Not me, obviously,” Fili drawled with a smirk and picked up the orange, peeling it slowly and popping the first piece into his mouth. “If I was a star, I'd be hanging around the sky and not sitting around in a hotel room.”

"...Point, but you're taking everything too literally anyway." Kili waved his hand smiling, flopping on the couch as he ate the apple humming to himself.

“Am I?” Fili asked with such seriousness in his voice that he could only be joking. He nudged the cup of hot chocolate into Kili's direction as well as the still warm cooked egg and the toast. He himself didn't need much more in the mornings.

"Are you sure you'll be fine with just the orange?" Kili asked concerned, taking a sip from the hot chocolate letting out a blissful noise at the rich taste filling his mouth.

“I'm not much of a breakfast eater,” Fili explained with a small shrug of his shoulders. But he was beginning to feel a little more lively thanks to the orange juice he'd begun sipping and thanks to the orange itself. “Eat whatever you want, Kili. All yours.”

Kili smiled thankfully, not having to be told twice to have a proper breakfast and he made quick work of the egg and the toast, taking his time with the hot chocolate and rubbed his stomach satisfied.

Once they were done, Fili stretched out and checked his watch. He frowned when he noticed the time and glanced towards the door. “My manager is going to be here to pick us up soon. I don't want to throw you out but you should leave soon.”

"It's alright, I have to catch up with an old friend before your concert anyway." Kili calmed him with a chuckle, finishing his drink before throwing the jacket over his shoulders and walked to get his bag. "So...I guess I see you at the concert then." He sounded a bit unsure, not sure what else he was supposed to say.

This was just one of those life's random moments where something magical like this happened and now he wasn't sure where they stood.

Fili grinned and raised a hand, telling Kili to wait. Then he scribbled something on the notepad on the desk and ripped off the paper, holding it out to Kili. Fili had scribbled numbers on it- A cellphone number.

“Give me a call if you want to chat or need a hand, Kili. You're a good man. Wouldn't want to lose you to the masses,” Fili said, affection in his voice and clearly a little bit worried.

Kili walked over to Fili, taking the number with slightly shaky hand and pocketed it. "You got it. 'm afraid you won't get rid of me anymore." Kili replied with a teasing smile, adjusting the strap of his bag. "Well, I'll catch you later!"

He threw Fili a warm smile before hurrying out, glancing around the hallway before climbing down the stairs. 

Grinning fondly, Fili leaned back against the door and stared up at the ceiling. Oh yeah, there was definitely an attraction there. He could only hope that something would come from it.

Unknowing for him, a series of photographs were taken of Kili as he walked away from Fili's room and out of the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do leave a comment and tell us what you think so far! It'll be greatly appreciated~


	4. Chapter 4

It took Kili till the evening to realize that something was wrong. Some of the people around him would stop and whisper and look at him, like he had done something wrong or amazing. He felt naked under the gaze and very uncomfortable and he was at loss. Was there something on his face? He tried to shake it off, after all Fili's concert would be soon.  
But that's when he saw it.

A huge picture on the front side of the popular rumor magazine, a picture of him leaving what people knew was Fili's room, with a shy but happy smile and flushed cheeks. The huge letters of NEW LOVE? and FILI BATS FOR THE OTHER TEAM stared back at him and he felt like his knees would give out underneath him soon.

His hands fumbled for the phone, sure that Fili (safe where he was with his friends practicing) hadn't seen it yet. He dialed the number, hoping to god Fili would answer. He couldn't handle this alone.

Kili was lucky. The band was taking a break and Fili was just drinking some water when his phone vibrated. He knitted his eyebrows together when the words 'Unknown caller' flashed on the screen. Cautiously, he answered the call, used to some weird newspapers calling him on his private phone.

“Hello?” Fili's voice was a little unsure when he answered the phone. Their manager gave him a look over his glasses but didn't say anything just yet.

"Fili?" Kili felt relief wash over him as he ran down the alley, hoping to distract a bunch of paparazzi's. "We have a big problem." He panted out hiding in the shadows, sliding down the wall breathing heavily.

“Kili?” Fili blinked and waved his manager closer. They would probably need his help for a sudden feeling of dread had settled on Fili's stomach. “What kind of problem? Where are you?” The other sounded out of breath, as if he was running away.

"Someone took a picture-- it's on the magazine with huge words of our epic romance and everything!" Kili cried out, covering his mouth with his hand, his body trembling. "They're everywhere, I can't...I can't lose them." He whimpered curling up to himself, his eyes wide.

“It's okay, Kili,” Fili soothed and bit down on his bottom lip. “Go back to the hotel.” The manager nodded and grabbed his jacket, picking up his car keys. “Go to my room and wait in front of it. Our manager is going to come and pick you up and bring you here.”

"I'm sorry." Kili said silently, standing up with shaky legs and making sure the road was clear he stepped out of the alley. "I ruined everything." He flipped his phone shut before hoisting the bag higher and ran down the street, making his way to the hotel. He hated this, hated that now Fili and the band would end up in trouble because of this.

He managed to get to the hotel without being spotted, using the elevator this time to go up where he sunk on the floor beside Fili's door, hugging his knees up against his chest.

“Kili--” But The young man had already hung up. Fili sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He'd told the other band members about Kili already and they had reacted with mixed feelings but mostly with sympathy. They had interrupted the practice already and only waited now.

The manager managed to get to the hotel in the meantime and had proceeded to rip the hotel's manager a new one, snarling and pointing out the contract breach and contacting a lawyer. Then he made his way up to the sixth floor, stopping in front of the cowering youth. There was no pity in his eyes but his voice was gentle. “Kili, I'm assuming?”

Kili's head snapped up and he was ready to escape again, but this man held no cameras with him. No notepads, or microphones. He stood up shakily, wiping his eyes as he nodded. "I'm assuming you're the manger."

“I am. I've parked the car behind the hotel so we'll be leaving through the kitchens.” He didn't offer Kili much more and turned around on his heel, making his way down to the kitchens and leading Kili to the car. Thankfully, the windows in the back were darkened so no one would be able to see who was in there.

Then the manager drove back to the practice hall.

Kili was silent the whole ride back, staring out of the darkened windows and swallowed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they were actually a couple, him and Fili. The media and people were supportive after all. But...But he wasn't. Fili wouldn't be with a drop out like him, who didn't even have a stable home.

When they stopped at the practice hall, Kili felt shaken and tired and he slipped out of the car being led to the hall where the band was.

The manager led Kili into the building and raised an eyebrow when he found Fili waiting there. The bassist stood up with a frown and nodded to his manager. “I'll take it from here, Thomas. Thank you.” The manager nodded tightly and gestured to a side room. “You should at least go into that room so you can talk in peace and without possible cameras.”

Fili nodded and took a long, hard look at Kili. It wasn't difficult to see that the other was stressed out and panicked and worried. Technically, he had no reason to be. He hadn't ruined anything. Fili was the one who had been reckless. Quietly, Fili walked over to Kili and reached out to rub his shoulder soothingly. “Come on, Kili. Let's relax.”

"Relax? Relax?" Kili squeaked out staring up at Fili with wide eyes, not even realizing his legs carrying him in the side room or the door close behind them. "I've been getting weird looks and had to run from paparazzi's the whole evening! They push the mics on my face and there's camera lights everywhere and the noises, the shouts of questions-" He covered his ears with his hands, shaking his head.

"Now they think you're batting for the other team and it's my fault, they think we have a romance going on and we don't and it's just going to be a big freaking mess when they found out. Then they call me your one night stand and--" He was bordering to getting a panic attack, his chest tightening.

“Kili.” Fili reached out and gently cupped the other man's cheeks, making sure to move slowly to show Kili what he was going to do. Firmly, but still with a tender touch, Fili leaned in a little. “Look at me. Breathe with me. In. ...and out.” He repeated his words a couple of times until he hoped Kili was calm enough again. 

“I don't care what they think. I don't care what the press thinks and never have.” Carefully, he guided Kili to a chair and made him sit down before crouching down in front of him.  
“It's not your fault, Kili. It's not. I'm sorry that they followed you and badgered you and did all these things to you. But that they're doing it isn't anyone's fault but their own.”

Kili sunk down on the chair, his breathing returning back to normal but his heart still beating a bit too quickly. "Why did this have to happen?" He whispered silently, shaking his head again as he stared at Fili numbly. "What are we going to do?"

“We're going to let the situation calm down. Right now, whatever we'd say, it would be wrong either way. We wait and our manager is going to talk to people. He's going to clear things up and then I'll go and talk to several serious interviewers and it'll be over. No one will bother you again, Kili.” Fili's voice was filled with promise. He felt bad for pulling Kili into this and ruining his life like this. “...I'm sorry. This is my fault.”

Kili shook his head, reaching out to take Fili's hand in his own. "It's not your fault. You couldn't have known this would happen." He replied smiling a bit shakily. "Besides...I'm living a dream right now, aren't I? People think I'm dating you, and for a moment I can feel like I'm good enough to actually do that."

Fili laughed tiredly and stood up. He reached out to tuck Kili's hair behind his ears again and shook his head. “Kili, I... I would be lucky to date someone like you.” And the attraction was there, Fili could feel it. But he didn't want to jump into something like this head first. Not when he barely knew Kili.

But he also wanted to lean in and just kiss him.

"Someone like me?" Kili asked surprised and confused, lips twitching in an amused smile. "Oh yeah, cause that would look good. A high school dropout with no stable home or job." He shook his head a bit, lowering his gaze. "You deserve someone who's like you. Who brings you joy and pride."

“Do you think you wouldn't bring me joy, Kili?” Fili shook his head again and gave the other man a serious look. “I'm sure you could, if we tried.” Because Fili liked having someone around who wasn't part of the band, who would be objective and down to earth and a little bit away from all the reporters and interviews and shows.

"I....I don't know." Kili replied unsure, not knowing what Fili's preferences were. He was more curious if Fili _wanted_ to try them. He tilted his head a bit, smiling up at Fili. "Do you do this often? Pick up a man from the street and have them swooning?" He asked teasingly.

Chuckling, Fili shook his head. “No, not all that often. I occasionally flirt with them. Because I like guys, too, if that's what you're getting at.” Fili had never hidden that he was bisexual. But few people had ever asked so he hadn't ever brought attention to the fact.

Kili chuckled silently, smiling up at him. "And here I thought I was special." He tutted amused, nudging Fili gently. He was slowly coming down from the shock of the day, his body more relaxed.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Fili said in a teasing tone and laughed. He was happy to see Kili relax again, the day had been way too stressful for the younger man. “Feeling better now? The world isn't going to end. This isn't going to ruin my career.”

Kili nodded, leaning back on the chair. "A lot better, thank you." He replied smiling, peering up at Fili. "Never would have thought that this would be my life. To be thought of dating a rising star. I think we just broke a lot of women heart."

“Woe is them,” Fili said theatrically and grinned. He couldn't keep his eyes away from Kili's lips but that would be too much for the other man today. Way too much, he knew. Then he paused and smirked slowly. “Would you like a backstage pass to today's concert? To be out of the eye of the public. Pretty sure that can be arrange.”

"Oh yes, now you're trying to give me a heart attack." Kili accused him straightening up on his seat and stared at Fili hopefully. "You would get me that?" He would be thankful to be away from others eyes, yes.

“Sure. I'll make puppy eyes at the manager, the others will join in and Thomas will give up. That's how it always works and he knows it.” Fili ruffled Kili's hair and walked over to the door. “Wait here. I'll go and talk to him now.”

"Fili." Kili smiled at the other man, standing up from the chair feeling a bit better now. He couldn't be more thankful for the man for bearing with him, for keeping him safe and thinking about his comfort before acting. He owed him a lot. "Thank you."

“You're welcome,” Fili said, flashing Kili a reassuring grin before leaving the room. He leaned against the wall next to the room for a second to gather his wits, then continued on to the practice room. It was time to face the music.

Thomas wasn't happy, like Fili had predicted. And, like Fili had predicted, the band jumped in to help out and soon, Fili returned with a white plastic band with colorful letters reading 'EL: Backstage Pass'. Pleased with his acquisition, Fili trotted back to the room where he'd left Kili.

Kili had fallen asleep on the small chair, curled up like a cat as he snoozed silently, the bag laying on the floor beside him. The running and panic had taken toll on his head and body and while Fili was gone, he had decided to rest his eyes just for a moment, ending up asleep in no time.

“Hey, Prince,” Fili teased and touched Kili's shoulder and gently shook him to wake him up. “Wake up. I got you your backstage pass.” He felt bad for waking Kili but he could rest later.

Kili blinked himself awake, rubbing his eyes sleepily and offered a disoriented, sleepy smile for Fili. "Mh...hey.." He sat up with a yawn, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "Got it? Awesome."

“Here.” Fili picked up Kili's wrist and fastened the band around his wrist, tugging at it a couple of times to check if it was secure. “This? Is a backstage pass for the next couple of concerts so don't take this off. It's my apology for dragging you into this.”

"Eh?" Kili blinked looking at it surprised, his eyes widening. "For real?" He beamed, unable to stop himself from leaping to hug Fili, arms around his neck as he grinned. "You're amazing! Thank you!"

Fili patted Kili's back with a surprised look on his face but soon chuckled and and pulled away a little. “No problem. Thomas didn't even complain too much so I think it's because he really doesn't want you in the eye of the public. I talked to him, too, and we're going to sponsor your rooms for a while so you can have a little privacy.”

"Wait, so I'm going to be with you guys?" Kili asked surprised, not having to expect that. He thought he could continue on with his normal moving around from town to town but now with this...maybe it was better to be with them, move with them for now. Least he wanted to get kidnapped and used for ransom. That always happened in movies.

“If you want to.” Fili shrugged his shoulders. In fact, he had a little bit insisted that Kili said with them and Jay had cleared his throat loudly and said something about someone having a crush but Fili had happily ignored him. But personally, he wanted to keep an eye on Kili, to make sure there would be no more paparazzi.

Kili pursed his lips thoughtfully, but finally nodded. "I think it would be for the best...for now. Till it quiets down again." He agreed looking at Fili. "Are you sure it's fine with others?" He didn't want to be a burden after all.

Fili rolled his eyes a little but he had a smile on his lips. “Jay joked about me not wanting to share my boyfriend. Apparently, they checked the news and twitter while we were talking and are having a lot of fun with this. So yes, it's fine with them. I think you'll meet them either way some time soon so.”

"I'm looking forward to that." Kili smiled at him, rocking on his heels. "Speaking off, shouldn't you be preparing for the concert?" He asked lifting an eyebrow.

“You're worse than Thomas,” Fili laughed but he nodded and walked back to the door. “I'll see you in the bus. It'll leave in about an hour or so.” With that, Fili slipped out of the room again to re-join the practice.

Kili smiled after him, sinking back on the chair burying his face in his hands. So this was his life now. Well, the plus side was that he would get to know the others properly, see a side of the band no one has seen.

A hour later he was being fetched in the bus which he took in with wide eyes because holy shit. There were four beds etched on the sides, two on either sides, up and down bunks. There was a table in the back and a place the boys could put their instruments in. There was a television and a radio and Kili was blown with it all. The last straw was the mini kitchen though in the corner and he sunk in one of the chairs with a chuckle.

“Enjoying the private tour?” Fili asked with a teasing tone in his voice, already throwing his bed up on a bunk bed. “And the table can be shifted to make another bed out of the benches. That'll be yours, if you have need of it. You can store your bag in one of the spots below the table for now.” Then Fili disappeared again to lug his instruments into the places they belonged to.

Kili jerked his head up surprised, his cheeks coloring a bit. "Didn't hear you return." He grumbled looking at the table...that would turn to be his bed. What even was his life anymore? He put the bag below the table for now, rubbing his wrist a bit.

Fili busied himself with the other band members for a bit, lugging this and that back and forth and making sure that everything was stored correctly. It would be a two hour trip to the next city. Fili didn't mind. The band always jammed together during the long trips and he loved that.

Kili watched them from afar, smiling a bit before pulling out his notebook and started to write, leaning back on the chair he was sitting in. He couldn't help but feel like he was intruding, even if Fili said that they were all fine with it. But...he was basically a stranger...he didn't belong here with them.

Noticing that Kili was beginning to withdraw, Fili nudged the band members over to the sitting area at the table. They clustered around it noisily, laughing and giving Kili welcoming looks and words. They were a friendly bunch, every single one of them.

And once they were on the road, they band began to play, stopping occasionally to ask for Kili's opinion.

Kili couldn't believe his luck, to be there with them all, to get to know them, what they liked, disliked, how they fooled around and made fun of each other...Kili couldn't stop laughing even if he tried, grinning at the group. He was thankful of their effort to make him feel welcomed, giving his own opinions and words for them to use.

He grew close to all of them surprisingly quick and only realized it when Jack had pulled him in a headlock, ruffling his hair and talking something about the band mascot while laughing.

Fili smiled, happy and proud of his friends for making Kili feel so welcome. He felt responsible for and attached to the younger man and it made him happy to see Kili smile like this. To be able to let him hear the band sing and joke and be human together.

Because some people tended to forget that this was all they were: human.

"Excuse you, but I do _not_ resemble a puppy!" Kili protested causing them to laugh again as he wriggled free from Jack's hold, trying to smooth down his hair with a pout. 

"Of course not, that's why you have fluffy hair and round cheeks and puppy eyes." Jack grinned leaning back on the chair.

“Kili's right,” Fili drawled and leaned back in his seat, his strumming away at his bass for a little while. Jay gave him a doubtful look and raise an eyebrow.

Fili remained silent for a few seconds longer and then grinned at Kili. “He's more like a cupcake.”

For a moment Kili was thankful of Fili's opinion, but it disappeared after three seconds and he reached for the book on the table, smacking Fili's head with it. "No one asked for your opinion, _sweetie_ " He drawled out hearing choked laughter of the others. 

"You sure you're not actually a married couple?" Jack teased eyeing them amused.

Fili wriggled his empty fingers at his band mates and gave them a mock glare. “I think I'd have invited you to the wedding, don't you?” He said mock-sternly and then grinned again, nudging Kili's leg with his foot. “You might not have asked but you got it anyway.”

"Next time, don't." Kili replied with an amused huff, eyes twinkling playfully. "And no Jack, we're not married. Not even dating. Don't believe everything a magazine tells you." He tutted watching Jack place a hand above his heart. "Ah well, there went my dream of you together." He said dramatically, causing Kili to choke on his laughter.

“Jack, always up to date on the newest gossip. Tell me, Jack, how many illegal kids do Jay and Nathan have again? Should be up in the dozens by now.” Fili grinned at the drummer, who smirked and nodded. “Six each, didn't you know? I wouldn't be surprised if the newest article features this little guy--” Jack nudged Kili's side. “As a potential cousin or child or new love interest for them. They're way more interesting than you, Fili!”

Fili laughed and gave Jack a mock-wounded look. “What a terrible thing to say!”

"Oh great, not even two hours in and I'm already being married. My life." Kili said dramatically, squeaking when he was pulled in another embrace by Jack. A touchy guy then. 

"You're going to love them! Now, I think you'd be a great wife for the eldest." He teased causing Kili to squirm with laughter. "I don't think it'd look too good on the papers! 'New lover boy left the band bassist for the drummer and singer's son.' "

“At least it would get rid of the stupid rumors,” Fili shot back and rolled his eyes. He didn't understand the tabloid's thirst for every, possibly dirty, little detail. Why would people even care about who was sleeping with whom?

“You'd make a good on-law, though. I'm sure Jay's parents would approve.”

"Yeah? Well maybe I should just do it." Kili teased back, straightening a bit. "That's it. Can't I just...date someone else? Somewhere public, find a girl willing to pretend for a bit. When they're no more interested in what I'm doing, we can' break up'. It'd get the paparazzis off your back." He added thoughtfully, Jack glancing at Fili and then back at Kili.

"Otherwise a good idea lad, but they would still be on Fili but with different questions. Like if you were an one night stand or why you broke up."

Kili deflated a bit, tilting his head back. "Well, it was worth a try."

“They'd ask me whether or not I knew you before I invited you into my room. And even if I explained the situations, the head lines would still read “Bassist hires male prostitute. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't enjoy being called a prostitute by the public.” Fili shook his head and shot Kili a fond smile. “But thanks for thinking about this. It was worth an idea indeed.”

Kili offered him back a shy smile, lowering his gaze on the table and inwardly Jack groaned. Honestly, he had never seen two as blind and daft boys as these two were. The attraction was there and they were too blind to see it or to act on it.

"So Kili, tell me. Going on road like this, you probably are not dating?" He asked leaning against his hand casually, and Kili shook his head with a smile. "I've never really dated. I was more of a home boy, so--"

"Wait, you've never dated? Ever?" Jack interrupted him surprised, watching the youngster's cheeks turn a brilliant shade of red. "Oh wow. Someone has got to teach you how to kiss before you're going to try to be serious with someone." He teased and Kili snorted looking at him, batting his eyelashes. "Why, you offering?"

“Jack,” Fili said with a smile on his face but not in his eyes. It was an unspoken warning. “Lay off, will you? You're being pushy. If Kili hasn't found the right person yet, that's fine. And he might like it better to get his first kiss from someone he really likes and not from any of us.”

He stared at Jack a little while longer before he picked up the bass again and played a couple of chords.

"Fili, it's fine. He's not the first one to be surprised by it." Kili assured him with a chuckle, not sensing any changes on the atmosphere, oblivious to it all. "I just haven't thought about it that much. Never seemed like it'd matter, with me walking around all the time." He reasoned leaning back on his chair and Jack clicked his tongue in understanding.

"Well, know that the offer still stands." He replied clearly amused at how defensive Fili had gotten for Kili, but the other was still as daft as before.

Fili blinked and tilted his head at Kili for the answer. So that was it? He'd just assumed, by Kili's conversation the previous day, that the younger man was crushing on him and had assumed that was why Kili didn't date anyone but...

Perhaps he'd been mistaken. Stupid ego and stupid assumptions. “Yeah, I guess relationships would only be a hindrance,” Fili agreed and focused on his bass again.

"Yeah." Kili nodded, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and swallowed. "I mean..of course I crush on people, like everyone does...but I sorta live in the bubble that not is going to happen you know? I don't dare to voice them and rather just...imagine how it would be with them." He shrugged embarrassed.

“Life's too short for that, Kili,” Fili said and stared at Kili with what could only be puppy eyes. Then he lowered his gaze again and fiddled with the strings. “You should tell them. Do something about it. Maybe it'll work out.”

"I doubt it." Kili chuckled, his eyes lowered as well as he stretched his arms above his head. "Have to stay realistic after all." He murmured yawning, Jack nudging the others. "You can take my bed, rest till we get to the city. You need it."

Kili smiled at him thankfully, nodding his head as he stood up. "I'm afraid this day has indeed tired me up a bit. Excuse me." He shifted from between the people, walking over to the bed pointed to him.

Fili looked up and wished Kili a good rest, watching him leave and settle down on the bed before he returned to playing the bass. “...we should jam some more, guys. We didn't really do much today. Or yesterday.”

"Or we could talk about your crush on the boy." Jack said quietly, leaning against his arm as the others looked at Fili as well. "It's so painfully obvious to everyone else, but the boy."

“It's not-- It's nothing.” Fili sighed and stubbornly refused to look at his friends, just plucking away now. “It's not as if it would work out anyway.”

"And why not? The boy obviously fancies you but because he's also a fan, he sees you as something he can't have." Jack replied glancing at the lump in his bed. "He's here, isn't he?"

“He's here because I messed up. If I hadn't offered him a place to stay, he would be on his way to the next concert, sitting among the fans and not getting bothered by the paparazzi,” Fili lamented and glanced over to the beds.

"He's here because he wants to. He looks up to you, Fili. True, he would be ushered by paparazzi's, but you do realize it's going to happen anyway, the moment he's seen somewhere." Jack replied shaking his head. "The news are out there. Why not make them real? We've never seen you look at anybody with such fondness or with such a warm smile, and we've known you since forever."

“It's not... that. It's just. What if we start dating and he finds out that I'm not what he imagined? Or what if I realize what I'm feeling might just be a fleeting crush and that's it? I wouldn't want to do that to him.” Fili knitted his eyebrows together with a sigh, clearly still doubtful.

"Fili, he spent the night with you. You talked to him when he didn't know who you were, he talked with us here. I'm pretty sure he just fell harder for you." Jack soothed him, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm afraid that's for you to see and find out. But let me demonstrate--"

He got up from the chair, sneaking over to the bed Kili was sleeping in and looked at Fili. "If I was about to kiss him, what would you do? What do you feel?" He asked running his hand through Kili's hair, the younger one making a sleepy noise.

Jealousy welled up in Fili's heart and he only wanted to slap Jack's hand away form Kili's hair. And the mere idea of Jack leaning down to kiss Kili practically made a storm cloud appear over Fili's head.

“Envy. And dislike. And I want to punch you in the dick.”

Jack had to stifle his laughter, eyeing the company by the table with a grin. "See? There's your answer." He replied smoothly, joining them again sitting on his chair.

“But I can't just kiss him out of the blue,” Fili protested, cheeks red. Yes, of course he had thought about it, thought about how much he just wanted to kiss Kili's sweet smile but... thinking about it and actually doing something were two different things.

"And why not? I know that he would be up to it." Jack wriggled his eyebrows laughing. "Look, unless you want to pronounce it on the concert I'd say that just do it. He's not going to get it otherwise. Trap him somewhere and just make up before we suffer more from your UST. And we've only been under the same roof for few hours."

Fili groaned and his his face behind the bass before look up with a half smile, kicking Jack's leg slightly. “You're all terrible friends. Who also need to get some rest.” That was a larger than life hint that Fili wanted to work through this alone and in peace. And while he cherished his friends and their insight dearly, he needed to be alone right now.

Jack grinned at him. "Yet you love us." He teased nudging the others and walked to the beds, each one occupying their own...expect Jack shared with Jay for now.

Fili sighed and stared up at the ceiling. What had he gotten himself into? Or better yet, what was he about to get himself into? Getting involved with a fan... With someone he barely knew even. This was going to be difficult to explain to Thomas, who'd probably blow a gasket and get angry at Fili.

Quietly, Fili looked over to where Kili was sleeping. Just kissing him? Fili couldn't do that. It needed to be the right time.


	5. Chapter 5

Kili awoke when the bus stopped, the lack of movement waking him up and for a moment he was at loss again. Then the memories returned and he smiled to himself, pushing himself to sit up-- and hit his head on the top bunk, falling back with a pained wince.

He shook his head, pressing a hand against his forehead before trying again and much more carefully slipped out of the bed, stretching his joints with a groan and looked out of the window. "Oh..we're here." He murmured to himself.

“Yeah,” Fili said from his spot at the table, the surface of it filled with papers. He'd busied himself writing lyrics and notes for new songs but now that Kili was awake, Fili stashed the papers away and sat up straight. “We're getting unpacked in half an hour. Did you sleep well?”

"Someone's been busy." Kili said smiling at the stack of papers before he nodded. "I did, and feel a lot better. Can't wait till the concert." He chuckled walking over to the table, fishing his bag from underneath.

“Who do you think comes up with half the lyrics for our songs?” Fili grinned and stashed the papers in a folder. Usually, the band came up the the lyrics together but half the time, Fili was the one who went over them and corrected them and write lyrics for several songs by himself. “We'll get there soon enough. Hotel first, as always. Then the sound check at the concert hall. And then the concert itself.”

"Right," Kili nodded in agreement, cracking his knuckles and yawned again, hearing the shuffled movements of others waking up as well. "Can't wait, never been in the backstage part before." He grinned.

“It's not really all at exciting,” Fili grinned and ran a hand through his hair. He stood up and pressed one hand against the wall. Sitting for too long always got to him and made him a little dizzy. “You'll probably be asked to find a spot and stay there. Or maybe you'll get to see us change clothes for the finale but that will be the most interesting part of this all.”

Kili choked on his own breath at the mental image, turning bright red and coughed few times, yelping when an arm was thrown over his shoulder. 

"Awake for ten minutes and already causing trouble? What are we even to do with you?" Jack asked barely hiding a grin, slipping out of his shirt and threw it on the bed. "Come on then, change of clothes and then out to the hotel!"

“Stuff him into a bathtub and kidnap him, of course,” Fili drawled and pushed himself away from the wall to change out of his clothes as well. He moved swiftly, occasionally exchanging playful nudges with his band mates. Soon, he pulled on a tight black shirt and and his usual beanie.

Kili kept his eyes pointedly on the floor, he was not sure how he could have handled seeing the whole band half naked. His cheeks were bright red as he changed his own clothes to more fitting to the occasion, his jeans ripped and tight and the tank top showing the tattoo on his arm. Finally he tied his hair in a loose ponytail and nodded to himself.

“Looking good,” Fili laughed and climbed ahead to the seats in the front to keep an eye on the road, to tell the others when they would arrive. He glanced over his shoulder and waved to Kili, trying to get him to come over.

Kili flushed lightly at the compliment, tugging on his top self consciously. He looked alright he thought. Noticing the wave he walked over to Fili, tilting his head curiously.

“Sit down. We're almost there.” Fili gestured towards the seat next to his own and shot Jack a sheepish look over his shoulder. Technically, the seat was Jack's but since he'd already given up his bed...

"Oh, alright." Kili nodded taking the seat, his hands on his lap as he stared out of the windows curiously, taking in the new city. jack just snorted, waving his hand at Fili but not before making kissy faces at him.

Fili's face flushed and he threw the tiny pillow back and into Jack's direction, hoping that the pillow would hit the other man and keep him from making kissy faces. Fili settled down again with a soft sulk but perked up when they finally parked at the hotel. Thankfully, none of the fans were there but Fili didn't doubt that the paparazzi were already lurking.

Jack laughed dodging the pillow with ease, stopping for now in order to get their equipment out with others. Kili was taken by the size of the hotel, his eyes darting around the yard before looking at Fili. "..What if someone sees me with you again?" He asked hesitantly.

Fili slung his bass case over his shoulder, leaving the guitar to get carried by the manager. He gave Kili a thoughtful look and then grinned a little shyly. He picked up his fiddle case with one hand and offered the other to Kili. “Give me your hand.”

Kili looked at him surprised, not understanding how that would help with the rumors. But strangely he trusted this man, this band, and found himself slipping his hand with Fili's. 

His gaze lowered on the floor at the heat seeping from Fili's hand, of the slight size difference of their palms and fingers.

Fili held his head high as he walked into the hotel's lobby and was immediately greeted by flashes of light. Instead of getting angry, he only tugged off his sunglasses and placed them on Kili's nose. Fili was used to flashing lights but Kili not. 

He trudged past the masses, ignored the way cellphones were shoved into his face, ignored the way his manager was raining down unholy wrath upon the paparazzi.

Fili only stopped to snatch up the key to his room and then walked over to the elevator, the band members gathering around Kili and Fili to protect them from the eyes and cameras.

Once the doors shut, Fili looked to Kili and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Now they won't call you a prostitute anymore.”

Too loud, too bright, it was all too much for him. Once the elevator door closed, he pushed the sunglasses down his nose and cast Fili a confused look. "Well...no, but now they definitely think there's something going on between us. Fili, you didn't have to do this." He replied silently, not wanting the other to suffer to try to keep someone like him safe. Besides, wouldn't this just add fuel to the fire?

“Sweet of you to worry, Kili,” Fili said with a comforting tone before he leaned in a little and placed a hand on Kili's head. “And I know I didn't have to do this. But I wouldn't want anyone calling you a whore because I decided to be a good Samaritan. Don't worry about the trouble I could get into. I can handle whatever they'll throw at me.” Fili was reassuring and confident in his words but was still happy to step out of the elevator. 

He squeezed Kili's hand before he began to move towards a the bedroom. It was twin bedroom, for Kili and Fili both and Fili had the sneaking suspicion that Jack had talked to Thomas and arranged for this.

"He can be nice when he wants to." Jack snickered nudging Kili to follow after Fili, the boy shooting him a startled look. "You'll be sharing, because of reasons you can't ask. Sleep well!" He gave Kili a small wave before disappearing in his own room, missing the panicked look on Kili's face. Share with Fili? Again? At this rate Fili would get tired of him and would be annoyed and--

He shook his head to clear it, hurrying after Fili through the open door, closing it after him.

“I'll see you before the concert, Jack!” Fili called back and trudged into the room, carefully storing his instruments on a corner. The room was nice and big enough to comfortably fit two beds inside. There was a desk and the door leading to the bathroom was half open, revealing a nice, big shower.

Fili grinned when he spied the shower and stretched out. Then he turned his head and gave Kili a concerned look. “...You won't mind if we share, right?”

Kili looked around the room curiously, focusing back on Fili at the question, shaking his head. "No...I'm fine with it, as long as it's not bothering you." He replied tugging on his ponytail and looked down at himself. Well, at least he had changed the clothes before coming there, the paparazzi's would have somewhat decent pictures of him.

“It's not,” Fili said quietly and glanced towards the beds again. His eyes flickered to the one closer to the window and he remembered how much Kili had enjoyed looking outside. How he had looked in the morning sun. So Fili smiled slightly and chose the bed closer to the door, putting his bag on it and unzipping it. “Still tired?”

Kili took the bed by the window, silently thankful that he was able to get the bed and peered out of the window, shaking his head. "Not really. I'm actually more concerned of what I'm going to wear." He admitted, his cheeks flushing. "I know it sounds girlish, but I don't think this is good at all." He said out loud, throwing his bag on the bed and started to go through it.

Fili flopped down on his bed and muffled his laughter in his pillow. Then he turned his head to the side to look at Kili and shook his head. “You'll be mostly backstage. It doesn't really matter what you wear. And if it makes m'lady feel better, you'll be pretty no matter what or what you don't wear.”

Kili threw Fili a flustered look over his shoulder, tugging his shirt off and tossed it in the bag. "Well I'm not dressing up for you." He shot back with a grin, rummaging through the bag. "I just...right clothes can really boost confidence on yourself, you know?" He asked tugging a black sleeveless hoodie on, looking at himself thoughtfully.

The comment banged slightly in Fili's chest and he frowned, wondering if he had misjudged the situation despite Jack's words. But then he shook his head at himself. How egoistic could he be? “I know what you mean,” Fili agreed with a smile and watched Kili change out of his clothes and into the black, sleeveless hoodie. Fili shook his head in response. “Too dark. And your tattoo kind of gets lost next to it.”

Kili looked up surprised, flashing Fili a thankful smile as he pulled himself free from the shirt, rummaging through the bag again. "So nothing that dark then...but too light would be...well, too light. This would be fine, but it won't fit with the jeans.." Kili murmured biting his lip, tossing the shirts on the bed.

Fili watched the shirts hit the bed. But he mostly kept his gaze fixed on Kili's chest, ogling rather freely. It was nice and muscled and looked delicious enough to eat. Fili caught himself licking his lips and quickly put on a serious expression again. “Try the dark green one?” It would look good, with maybe a necklace or two and rings on Kili's fingers.

Kili glanced at the green shirt, lifting it up with a small grin. "I would..but it's a shirt I use when I move in the forest area so it's not clean and also has a hole or two in it." He explained tossing it on the aide again, raking his hands through his hair frustrated.

Fili shook his head and stared at Kili's hands. What would it feel like to slide his own hands into Kili's dark hair and let his fingers tangle and massage and explore? His cheeks darkened slightly and Fili shifted a little. “If it's clothes you have a serious issue with, I think I can help you out.”

Kili stopped the pacing and turned to look at Fili with a lifted eyebrow. "Help? How exactly?" He asked confused, crossing his arms across his bare chest.

Fili got up and walked over to his bag, opening it and rummaging through it. With a triumphant noise, he pulled a navy blue shirt out of the bag and threw it to Kili. He added a couple of rings and two leather necklaces with beads and ornaments attached to it to the mix and held it out to the other man. “Here. Try this on?”

"Are you sure?" Kili asked with wide eyes, catching the cloth and the accessories with wide eyes. His excitement took over soon though and he pulled the shirt on, tugging it down. It was a bit big to him, but nothing that would show off as a bad thing. He added the leather necklaces around his neck, feeling the comforting weight of them and slipped the rings on his fingers. He stared at himself from the mirror, his cheeks red as he brushed his hair behind his ear and turned to face Fili. "...It look okay?"

Why had he done this? Why had he given Kili one of his own shirts and his own rings and necklaces and-- Fili squirmed uncomfortably where he stood and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. That had been one of his dumbest ideas. Kili looked handsome like this, broad shouldered and messy haired and like a wet dream come true.

“I want to kiss you,” Fili blurted out and then slapped a hand over his mouth.

Kili's eyes widened in shock, his mouth dropping open. There had to be something wrong with his ear because there was no way Fili had just said something he thought he heard he had said. It didn't make sense. He was...he, and Fili was someone who he shouldn't be able to get for many reasons. But there was a selfish part of him that wanted to reach out, to let Fili make him his, for them to be together.

"You want...want to..?" He asked his voice coming out a bit like a squeak as he rubbed his neck. Fili looked as embarrassed and shocked as he did and that gave him the courage to take a step closer. "...Thinking about making the rumors true?" He asked softly, his tone joking as he tried to lighten up the situation a bit.

Fili's hand remained where it was and he felt like he was confessing to the senior girl all over again. Only that she'd turned him down with a soft laugh and a shake of her head. Fili had felt crushed back then but Kili didn't look as if he was about to turn Kili down. Instead, he seemed to welcome him.

Slowly, Fili let his hand drop down and gave Kili an awkward look. “Yes, actually. And no. They're all saying that you're a fling or a one night stand or that I bought you and I'd like something more... solid than that.”

Kili's cheeks heat up deep red, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He waited to wake up any moment now, to realize it was all a bittersweet dream but the wake up never came. Fili was still there, looking nervous and Kili melted just a bit more.

"...They're not going to leave either of us alone now." Kili murmured softly, his feet carrying him to Fili to stand close to him, peering up at the taller man. "At least I'm legally adult."

“This is your last chance to back out, if you want a paparazzi free life, Kili,” Fili said with a small twist to his mouth, already aware of the fact just how much damage the paparazzi could cause. They'd sent too many people crashing and burning to the ground. And he wouldn't want that to happen to Kili, who was still so bright eyes and happy.

But Fili couldn't resist reaching out to place a hand on Kili's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take." Kili replied with a determined nod, biting his lip when Fili placed a hand on his shoulder. He was so close already, and he wanted to rise on his tiptoes to press their lips together, wanted to be with Fili, wanted to be seen with him, with the man he trusted. His cheeks colored lightly as he reached out to slide his fingers in Fili's hair--

And the door opened, a cheery, too familiar voice breaking the tension and causing Kili to jump back a bit. "Hey guys, we were thinking of-- Oh." Jack grinned, lifting his hand up as he took in the situation. "Sock on the door guys. Carry on." He closed the door and Kili covered his face, shoulders shaking with laughter.

Carry on. As if that was so easy. Fili gave the door a miserable look and closed his eyes. This had probably shocked Kili back into using his senses. “Thank you, Jack,” Fili grumbled under his breath and flopped down on the bed.

“...You know. If you want to back out now, I wouldn't hold it against you.” Fili's voice was barely above a miserable, barely controlled tone. He was an idiot. Jack was an idiot. And Fili wouldn't mind if the earth would swallow him whole by now.

Kili looked at Fili with a small smile as the other grumbled about his friend, and tilted his head a bit. "Why would I back out?" He asked silently, walking over to Fili on the bed and sat on the edge wringing his hands together.

"I was a bit nervous what the others of the band would have said to this, but I can see it was...expected." He sounded a bit amused and embarrassed. "I don't want to back out...but...if you want to..." He trailed off unsure.

“No!” Fili immediately sat up and shook his head. “No, I don't want to back out! I've wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you in the park,” he admitted with a grumble and pulled his legs up to his chest. “But I didn't think you would, when finally confronted with the truth. Dreams are always better than reality.”

“...Yeah, it was expected.” Fili buried his face in his knees with a small laugh. “They've been winking and nudging at me after you went to sleep in the bus and they're fine with it.”

Kili looked surprised, his cheeks red at the admission that Fili had wanted him since the park, since the first time they met. "But...I like you, dream or not. I want to get to know the _you_ , and I'm sure I'll like what I see."

He flushed a darker red at the thought of the guys ganging up on Fili, trying to make him confront him from the feelings. "Oh...Can I shove them in a bath of cold water?" He asked chuckling.

Fili laughed a little and ran a hand through his hair. “Not sure if that would help, Kili. They'd probably laugh it off and then team up on you to make sure you're soaking wet.” Fili knew his friends after all.

“Well...” Fili slowly unfurled again and closed his eyes. He wanted to continue where they'd left off but he wasn't sure if the atmosphere was right anymore. Not after Jack had barged in like that. He'd wanted the atmosphere to be right and it had been but... well.

"Well then we just gotta team up against them!" Kili replied nodding, glancing at Fili unsure. "You'd be on my side, right?" He asked shifting closer to the older man, poking his ribs gently.

"If you're not, I just might have to tickle you a bit." He threatened smiling.

“Of course I would be on your side,” Fili laughed and gave Kili a tired, but very, very happy look. “Who do you take me for?” He squirmed slightly at the prod and wrapped an arm around Kili. “I wouldn't throw you out for the wolves to nip and bite at.”

Kili relaxed in Fili's arms, curling down against Fili and let out a happy sigh. "Knew I could count on you." He smiled turning his head a bit, playing idle shapes on Fili's chest.

“I wouldn't let you down,” Fili confirmed and leaned back against the wall, holding Kili gently against his chest. He felt more comfortable, curled up on the bed and away from the door which he wasn't going to attach a sock to, thank you very much.

Kili smiled letting his eyes close and a soft sigh escape from between his lips. "This is nice...I might have to cuddle you a bit more from now on." He murmured with an amused tone. Never in his life would he have believed this would be his life, him dating someone like Fili, getting to know him.

Fili chuckled softly and rubbed a hand against Kili's back, massaging it gently. “I thought I'd outgrown being a human teddy bear for people I like.” But then there was Jay who loved to cuddle up to people when he slept, there was Noelle, his younger sister, who had always loved the fact that her brother was basically a walking furnace, a soft one at that. And now Kili.

To be fair, Fili didn't particularly mind cuddling.

"Apparently not. You're not pushing me away." Kili grinned tilting his head back to look at Fili amused. "Do you mind?"

“No. Just don't worry of Jay does it. When he gets into one of his moods, he's likely to drape himself all over people. I think I might be his favorite victim because I'm usually warm. Even in winter.” Fili shrugged his shoulders with a grin and, as if to prove his point, placed a warm hand on Kili's neck. “See?”

"Thanks for the warning." Kili chuckled blinking surprised at the touch on his neck, his cheeks heating up at the press. "Y-Yeah, definitely warm." He murmured softly, drawing his lower lip in his mouth and smiled at Fili.

"My hands can be pretty cold sometimes." He countered pressing his hand on Fili's chin.

Fili blinked at the touch against his chin and then smiled gently. “We can't have that now, can we?” He tilted his head down until he could press a slow, lingering kiss against Kili's palm. The skin was definitely cold but it wasn't anything Fili couldn't fix with a little cuddling.

His own cheeks were growing warmer already after all.

Kili's breath hitched at the lingering, soft kiss and he swallowed thickly, looking up at the older. "I have a feeling you're going to be the death of me." He murmured voice breaking a bit as he turned his head, unable to hold back anymore and instead caught Fili's lips with his own in a tender press of lips.

For a second, Fili's mind drew a blank. He couldn't feel anything but the press of something soft against his lips, couldn't figure out what was going on. Then his brain caught up and Fili responded to the kiss, gently pressing his fingers against the small of Kili's back.

Kili was thankful that Fili hadn't pushed him away or thought they moved too fast, letting out a slow breath in the kiss as he responded it just as gently, fingers massaging his chin tenderly. It felt like his heart was exploding in his chest, his mind swimming in a soft haze.

It was nice, this slow, soft kiss. Tender and comfortable and relaxed, Fili exhaled slowly, briefly breaking the kiss before he resumed it again. Just Kili's mere presence made him lower his defenses, the humor and forwardness he always guarded himself with.

But a small voice in the back of his head nagged. He was supposed to be more experienced than this. To know what to do and where to touch. Wasn't a star like he supposed o have experience?

Kili melted in the kiss, his heart beating erratically in his chest and he swallowed thickly, keening silently under his breath. It felt better than he would have ever dared to hope, the simple, sweet kiss stealing his breath as he let his hand slip down to rest on Fili's shoulder.

The simple touch removed the doubts from Fili's mind and he smiled, pulling back a little to kiss the tip of Kili's nose, then just below his eye. His own heart was thudding in his chest, beating painfully against his rib cage as he looked at this wonderful young man who loved him.

Kili chuckled his eyelids fluttering shut at the tender, playful gestures and looked up at Fili with a shy smile, his cheeks a hint of pink. "...I could get used to that." He cleared his throat, nudging Fili gently. "And you should be getting ready for the gig. We don't want you to arrive late because you were busy snogging your boyfriend." He teased.

“Well, maybe I like snogging my boyfriend better than having a gig right now,” Fili said with quiet laughter in his voice. And he really did want to spend the rest of the evening curled up with Kili, holding him and just kissing him and touching him a little.

But duty called, Kili was right. So Fili sighed softly and, red-cheeked and slightly unwilling, he pulled away from Kili and carelessly began to undress.

Kili released his hold of the older man, turning his head away swiftly as the other started to undress, still feeling like he was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. His cheeks colored a bit as he tugged on his shirt, smirking a bit. "Just think about me, in your shirt, your accessories, watching the show from a private area with only few other fan. Only looking at you, only cheering for you and waiting for you."

Oh. 

The rustling of clothes stopped as Fili paused in his undressing and shot Kili a short look over his shoulder. He licked his lips and moved over to his bag, pulling out the outfit he'd already planned out for today's gig.

Fili enjoyed the idea of Kili watching only him more than he should have. That he could count on Kili's eyes not drifting to the others and lingering there. Fili bit down on the inside of his cheek and pulled on the clothes, a tight, white shirt which hem ended in the rainbow colors to match Fili's hair. “That's going to keep me motivated, I'm sure.”

Kili laughed amused, letting his eyes roam up Fili's body and smiled at him. "Looking good." He commented sliding out of the bed, correcting the place of his necklaces and tugged his hem down, walking over to Fili. "I'll be going now, take a good place...so I'll see you later behind the stage." He murmured smiling, pecking Fili's cheek.

He pulled away a bit, biting his lip. "Oh yeah, speaking of...there are going to be backstage fans, right? How am I supposed...am I to pretend we don't know what's going on or..?" He wasn't sure how Fili would feel being seen with him in front of few fans, if he wanted to keep them hidden despite the magazine.

Fili grinned at the peck and pulled up his hair into the usual bun to create the illusion of short hair. Then his gaze softened when Kili voiced his unsure thoughts and he reached out to cup Kili's cheeks. “Yes, there are going to be others. And if they pry, it's your right to not answer their questions. But you can tell them. You don't have to pretend this relationship doesn't exist, Kili.”

Confidently, Fili kissed Kili's forehead and pulled the other into a hug. “I'm not going to.”

The words took a huge weight off from Kili's shoulders and he beamed at Fili, stealing his lips in a chaste, sweet kiss. "Like heck I'm keeping it a secret. I won't project it, but if I'm asked I'll reply truthfully." He smiled gazing up at Fili for a moment before grabbing his phone, waved and hurried out of the room, making his way to the stadium.

He had a front seat to be taken after all.


	6. Chapter 6

Kili wasn't really that surprised about the whispers and giggles that started when he was seen in the stadium, only increasing when he got into the private area and showed his bracelet, getting inside. He sighed a bit, running his hand through his hair and smiled a bit. He was nervous, and anxious, but...after all this he'd get to see Fili close, curl against him again.

He could handle few fans and their possible questions. A quick look around the area showed him five more fans and he breathed out in relief. Only five. He could do this. He tucked himself in the front line, leaning against the fence and stared at the darkened stage.

The band was on the other side of the hidden part of the stage, checking on clothes, instruments and everything they'd need. They didn't say much, they'd gone through this enough times to gather in a circle and gives each other reassuring, comforting looks.

They had each other's backs.

They went around, bumping foreheads together as per tradition and then they entered the stage, the crowd cheering wildly as all of the band members waved.  
A little song, a familiar song to lead the evening. And so their first song to ever hit the charts was played.

Kili straightened up when the band entered the stage, a happy grin lit up his face as his eyes focused on Fili immediately. He clapped his hands, head bobbing in the time with their music as he sung the lyrics with them.

Around half way to the concert, he had the feeling that he was being watched and turned his head a bit, meeting the gaze of a blonde girl with the band's shirt and a skirt, staring at him. Kili swallowed, turning back to the band with a small frown, his heart beating nervously.

A break at the halfway mark was what had the band finally stumbling backstage and Fili reached for a water bottle, emptying half of it in a matter of seconds. The bright lights always made him feel as if he was standing in the middle of the Sahara with nothing to shield himself with. He flashed Kili a small, quick grin before he was bustled off to put on a different outfit and to get his make up fixed but at least during that, he was able to whisper his plan for later to his other band mates.

They seemed clearly amused and Fili only grinned in reply as they consented to it and quickly walked back to the stage. Jay's solo was up so Fili would have a couple of seconds longer to breathe and mingle a little. He waved to the fans backstage and came to a stop next to Kili.

Kili smiled at him when Fili stopped next to him, his cheeks flushed a hint of pink as he gazed up at the man. It was still hard to believe that he was dating this man, that this wonderful, sweaty man was his boyfriend and the thought got his heart fluttering.

"So far so good." He called over the music teasingly, leaning against the fence. "Looking good~"

Fili glanced down at what he was wearing and cleared his throat, cheeks slightly red. A blue collar and equally blue cuffs around his wrists. A white shirt with holes in it and net over the ripped parts. Yes, the designers had done a good job with this.

“Thank you. Are you enjoying yourself so far?” Fili smiled at Kili and briefly brushed his hand against the younger man's. Then he looked to the other fans. “All of you?”

Kili grinned amused as Fili flushed and checked on his own clothes. The touch on his hand sent jolt down his spine as he nodded, he was definitely enjoying himself. "Can't wait till we get to the back though." He murmured loud enough for Fili to hear, his fingers catching Fili's and squeezed gently. He wanted to be close to the other, sit on his lap or curl beside him without this stupid fence. But he had to wait till they all get in the backroom.

Fili only smiled at Kili, a brief glint in his eyes. He opened his mouth to reply but then Thomas waved him over and he sighed. Fili gave the group one last wave before he walked back on stage, picked up his guitar and adjusted his microphone to play background singer for Jay.

Then he lost himself in the music again, fingers gliding over the strings and voice carrying the tune easily. That was the part he always liked best. Standing on the stage, getting carried away by the music and the love and the raw emotions.

Kili wrapped his arms around himself when Fili left, feeling the sudden chill of the air without the other and smiled wistfully at the man on the stage. He closed his eyes, focusing on picking Fili's voice from the song and rocked slightly on his place.

He could feel the piercing eyes on his back again, but he said nothing. If the girl had something to say to him, she might as well come to him. He had no interest to hear her questions or anything. He was all focused on Fili, on how he moved, how he sung, how he played the bass and he thought he couldn't be happier.

The concert was drawing to a close and Fili was thankful. His fingers were beginning to hurt from playing the strings so much and looking at the lights was beginning to hurt. But the knowledge that Kili was watching, listening to him sing and play and looking at his smile and grin and the slightest movements made Fili gain momentum again and once the final song had been played, Fili stepped forward to the microphone while Jay slapped him on the shoulder and picked up the bass.

Few people knew but Jay knew how to play the bass as well. Not as well as Fili, since Jay always claimed his own fingers were made of wood and stone, but we enough for the purpose of what came next.

Standing in the middle of the stage and actually having all the attention on him felt a little suffocating. But Fili put on a smirk and grabbed the microphone. “Did you all enjoy the concert?” He voice was soft, smooth and confident and the last word was almost drowned out from the screams of the audience.

“In that case, I have a little treat for you all. We're going to play one more song. A new one. I finished it today. Exciting, right?” The crowd cheered again and Fili chuckled when he saw several people pull out their cellphones. “We haven't really gotten around to practicing it yet do do forgive us if we should make mistakes. This song is...” Fili licked his lips and closed his eyes. “For a very dear person to me.”

And with that, Fili took a deep breath and began to sing.

Kili's heart stopped when Fili walked to the middle of the stage to make the announcement, a choked sob getting stuck in his throat as he covered his mouth with his hands. He knew this. He knew the lyrics, even if he had never heard of them before. But he had been there, he had lived the moment Fili was singing about.

But what he hadn't known was how Fili had felt back then, and now to hear it all, to have Fili sing for _him_... Kili couldn't stop the tears from falling, his eyes closing as he basked in the soft voice of his lover.

Someone had once said that good cheer and merriment would be the key to achieving everything. To being happy. To being content with life. But Fili had always found that lacking in one aspect. He'd always wanted love to be a part of his life. He always wanted to know that someone was loved by him, that he was loved by someone.

Gaining and losing and gaining again, meeting and parting and the hopes of love were guided by Fili's words as he poured his heart into the song. And he held the final note and then stepped back to let the others finish their instrumental pieces but Fili, Fili was done for today.

He smiled at the others and walked off the stage. He'd meet them up there again for the encore which would probably soon be demanded from the fans. And Fili would be happy to support Jay again with his bass.

Kili broke, he leaned against the fence crying silently, but he couldn't stop smiling. Fili had just given him something he didn't know he could get, didn't know he needed. It wiped off the doubts of his mind and he knew that he would be there beside Fili for as long as the other one wanted him. He wouldn't care of the paparazzi's, of the others. Nothing else mattered.

Kili wiped his eyes as the song ended and the fans started to demand an encore, a shout that Kili joined with a hoarse voice.

Fili watched as the stage went dark and the rest of the band piled to the side. Grinning fiercely, Fili reached out and was pulling into a group hug in return. The others held him for a few seconds before Nathan, voice a drawl and eyes alight with mischief, opened his mouth. “An encore, eh? We should pick something nice for it then.”

And Fili couldn't agree more but when Jay asked him if he would sing again, Fili shook his head. He'd poured everything he'd had into that song and doing it again would break him into tiny, shattered pieces. Understanding, Jay pulled him into a quick, one armed hug before they decided on their song which had stayed in the charts for weeks, had been popular all throughout summer. So the boys piled back onto the stage and grabbed their instruments and started to play.

Kili leaned against the fence when the boys returned, beaming at them all. He felt so happy to know them, to call them his friends...and a boyfriend. He enjoyed the encore, but he was more excited when the bouncer came to lead them to the backstage, in the room to meet the band.

He grinned a bit as the others started to talk excited, other tremble in their nerves but he was just feeling giddy. The door opened and Jack was the first one to come in, clapping Kili's back and tugged him in a hug, grinning brightly. "You've turned our man into a mush. Great work." He teased ruffling Kili's hair before going to greet the others and Kili shook his head with an amused smile.

“Fuck you, Jack,” Fili called from the end of the line and laughed heartily. He couldn't ever be mad at his own band members. Even if they were a teasing bunch of morons who meddled too much and didn't mind their own business enough.

Fili's grin softened into a smile when he spied Kili and he reached out, grasping his boyfriend's hands to give them a soft squeeze. “Hi, Ki. Enjoyed the concert?”

"I loved it." Kili murmured looking up at him with a shy smile. "The...the last song, the one you sung...it was beautiful." Kili added tugging himself closer to Fili, burying his face against Fili's chest for a moment and just breathed in deeply.

“Thank you.” Fili's cheeks went red but there was a pleased grin on his lips ad he dropped a kiss against the crown on Kili's head. “It was for you,” he murmured against Kili's ear before he pulled back a little. He was reluctant to do so but he had an obligation to the other fans, too. And he could cuddle and kiss Kili all he wanted once they were back at the hotel.

"Figured as much." Kili teased with a smile, his cheeks a matching red as he turned around and made himself comfortable on the couch beside Nathan, ignoring the piercing and curious looks of the five other fans but he knew the questions would start soon.

The brunette turned her eyes from Kili to Fili, to Kili again before looking at the bassist. "So you two are...together?" She asked curious and sweet, her lips smiling.

Fili eyed the brunette girl and then returned the smile, slouching his shoulders a little into a relaxing posture. “Yes. We are. I don't really like what the press has done with our relationship, if that's what you want to ask next.” Fili laughed quietly and gave the girl another easy smile.

"I'm Nilla, Hilda's older sister. We've waited a long time to meet you guys." She nodded her head to emphasis her point. "I'm sorry what the press has done to you, they can be a pain sometimes."

“Nice to meet you, Nilla. Sorry that you had to wait so long to meet us but here we are.” He offered his hand to her and shot her his patented, toothy grin.

And as if on cue, a starry eyed, young girl slid down onto the couch next to Kili and grinned at him. “Hi!” she chirped in a bubbly tone and held out her hand to Kili. “I'm Hilda! Nice to meet you!”

Kili was more than surprised by the actions of the stranger but he took her hand smiling shyly. "Kili. Nice to meet you too." He stammered out cheeks flushing, causing the brunette to squeal a bit. "Oh lord, he's so adorable!" She bounced a bit, looking at Fili.

“Sis, stop squealing so much!” Hilda looked clearly embarrassed by her older sister and gave Kili a sheepish look. “I'm sorry, she's just really excited to meet the band. It's been her dream since forever.” She let go of Kili's hand and gave Nathan a shy smile before looking at Kili again. “The concert was great, right?”

"It was amazing." Kili agreed clearly just as amused from Nilla's behavior as the others were, and he relaxed back on the couch. 

These two girls were great, but Kili could still feel the piercing glare of the blonde and it made him a bit uneasy until he finally turned to look at her. "Can i help you with something?"

“Nothing,” the blonde said snidely and glared daggers at Kili. “You clearly already have what you need so don't you worry about me, honey.” Her tone was sugary sweet and she was smiling widely but her eyes promised hate and anger and quite possibly a punch, if they'd been in private.

Kili's eyes widened a bit, not understanding what she was talking about. "I'm sorry, have I offended you somehow?" He asked confused, tilting his head a bit.

“Yes, you have,” the blonde replied cattily and turned her head with a haughty sniff. “But I don't have to explain myself to little no names and attention whores like you.” She huffed and walked over to Jay to bat her eyelashes at him.

Kili felt like he had been physically hit, his throat swallowing dryly as he lowered his gaze on the floor. No name? Attention whore? He wasn't...he hadn't...He felt sick and looked at the girl beside him with an apologetic smile before standing up and made his way to the bathroom, locking the door after him.

Fili, unaware of the situation that had just happened by the couch just grinned widener and he picked up a glass filled with orange juice, handing it over to Nilla. Then he lowered his voice inconspicuously. “Which part was your favorite?”

"I have to be cheesy and say that your last song, because it was obvious it came from your heart. There were many crying, including your boy." She smiled taking the orange juice thankfully.

Fili's cheeks darkened and he looked to Kili with an embarrassed laugh. “He's something special. And I wanted to let everyone else know.”

"And you did. Basically it was the hugest 'coming out' I've seen and I respect you both for that." Nilla grinned taking a sip of the juice, turning to look at her sister sitting alone and lifted an eyebrow. "Did you scare him away already?" She teased, unaware of the situation that had happened.

Hilda knitted her eyebrows together and gave her sister an indignant look, shaking her head quickly. “No. I don't think he was feeling well, he disappeared into the direction of the rest room. But I can't blame him. He was called names.”

Fili frowned at Hilda's words and muttered a quick apology under his breath before walking over to the rest room, knocking onto the door. “Kili? Are you alright?”

Kili jumped surprised at the call of his name, washing his face at the sink and stared at his reflection. True, he wasn't someone that Fili was supposed to want, but he did. He did want him, and Kili clung on to the thought until he stopped shaking and dried his face, opening the door for Fili with a small smile. "Yeah, I'll...I'm fine."

Fili took in Kili's disposition, noticed the quiet stumble over the words and gently nudged Kili back into the restroom before entering as well. He locked the door behind them with a click and only opened his arms to Kili, wordlessly asking if he needed a hug.

Kili looked up surprised when he was pushed back in the restroom, his lower lip quivering a bit before he walked forward and sunk in Fili's embrace, letting out a shaky sigh. "'M sorry...I-It'll take a while to get used on the hate.." He murmured silently.

“I know.” Fili had, especially in the beginning, heard some rather hurtful comments about not fitting into the band. But he had grown thicker skin and learned to ignore such comments. Thankfully, he didn't care about such comments anymore. But this was still new to Kili so Fili gently rubbed his back.

“But I want you to know that no matter what they say, they're wrong. I don't hate you. You didn't steal me, and I want to be in a relationship with you, you didn't force me.”

Kili smiled thankfully, wrapping his arms around Fili's neck and held on to him a while. "I'm sorry...I'm sure I'll get a lot more of that hate, I'll get used to it at some point." He murmured pulling back with a careful smile.

“You shouldn't have to get used to it. It shouldn't be happening in the first place, period,” Fili said seriously as he cupped Kili's cheek. But he knew as well as Kili did that it was going to happen again and again until the fuss about their relationship had died down.

"But it is, and we can't stop it. She just caught me by surprise." Kili replied leaning in the touch on his cheek before turning his head and pressed a lingering kiss on his palm. 

"Come on...you have fans waiting, it won't be much longer before we can leave."

Fili's lips quirked up and he stole a quick kiss form Kili's lips before he unlocked the door and slipped out to make nice with the fans. He did what his fans wanted of him: He showed them the nice, joking Fili who laughed a lot and listened well.

Kili sat on the couch, talking to Nilla and Hilda as well as Jack and Jay, who had looked at the blonde one with a cold look when he had heard what happened between her and Kili. 

Jack had a protective arm slung over Kili's shoulder as he chatted with the girls and Kili couldn't have been more thankful of this family he was taken into.

Finally, after about two hours more of chatting, the fans were escorted out. Amused, Fili noted that Nathan slid the sisters his number but didn't comment on it. Instead, he flopped down on the couch next to Kili and leaned against him. “You did well.”

Kili leaned against Fili, practically climbing on his lap as he clung on to him with a small smile. "I never realized how exhausting these meetings can be," He murmured with a yawn.

“What do you think we spend most of our time doing when we're driving to places?” Fili chuckled and kissed Kili's forehead lovingly as he wrapped his arms around the other man.

“But it's worth it. I like meeting our fans. They're a nice bunch, most of the time.”

"I bet they are." Kili agreed looking at the others who just like them, were dangled on the couches half asleep or chatting with tired smiled. "We have a long ride head of us tomorrow, don't we?" Kili yawned, yearning to get back to the hotel.

“Seven hours,” Fili answered and, infected by Kili's yawn, yawned as well and then proceeded to bury his face in the crook of Kili's neck for a few seconds longer. Then he decided to be the adult of the group and nudged Kili off his lap and stood up. “Alright boys, let's get back to the hotel. We'll need the sleep and the couches aren't comfortable enough.”

Kili whined in tandem with Jack but he sighed standing up stretching his limbs carefully. "I could use the sleep." He murmured smiling sleepily up at Fili, waiting for the others to gather themselves.

“Come on, you big baby,” Fili laughed tiredly and bent down a little to offer his back to Kili to climb on, if he wanted to. Fili was very tired as well but Kili looked ready to pass out.

"You carry me, and we'll both end up in the ditch before we get to the hotel." Kili said amused, pecking Fili's cheek and took his hand. "I'll be fine, let's just go before we fall asleep here."

Fili shrugged a little tiredly and placed his sunglasses back on Kili's nose before squeezing the man's fingers and following the band out of the room. On their way out, they thanked the light and sound guys and exchanged some small talk before they all piled into the car and drove back to the hotel.

Kili dozed off lightly in the car, jerking awake when they stopped once again. He had no memory how they got past the paparazzi's, how they took the lift to their room or closed the door after them. He blinked when he realized that he indeed was back in their room and yawned again, tugging Fili's shirt off of him, placing it on the chair on the corner. He touched the leather necklaces that rested on his bare chest and smiled a bit.

Fili only gave Kili a tired smile when he noticed the way he touched the leather necklaces. The trip had been tiring and again, Fili had politely but insistently pushed cellphones and microphones out of his face on the way to the hotel, one arm wrapped around Kili's shoulders.

But now that they were in their rooms, Fili relaxed and only nudged Kili towards his bed. “Sleep, Kili.”

"You too." Kili murmured turning around, catching Fili's lips in a tender, clumsy kiss as he fell over on the bed, curling on it like a cat before slipping under the covers and yawned yet again.

Laughing at the clumsy but sweet kiss, Fili watched Kili curl up for a few seconds before he disappeared into the bathroom to get ready. Tiredly, he slipped off the rings, removed the earrings and the necklaces. He pulled layer after layer of clothing off, removed the make up and looked at himself in the mirror.

He looked tired. There were circles under his eyes and his ears and hands looked empty. Nothing but a young man with pale blond hair and an equally pale skin.

Sighing, Fili brushed his teeth and pulled on his comfortable sleeping pants before he turned off the lights and crawled into his own bed, asleep within seconds.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for smexy times~

Thomas knocked on the door few hours later.

Fili groaned in reply and rolled into a tighter ball before the knowledge kicked in that Thomas wouldn't leave them alone. So Fili sighed and slowly got out of bed to answer the door, blinking at his manager. Thomas said something about packing and Fili grunted and closed the door again. 

Packing in a zombie like state. Great.

“Morning,” Fili managed to mutter before he focused on packing again. He didn't really have much to pack, not really. And Fili was grateful for this. He kept making tired noises as he walked through the hotel room to check if he had everything and then into the bathroom to wash up a little.

"Morning." Kili murmured with a yawn, sinking back on the bed for a moment after making sure he wouldn't forget anything and stretched blinking few times. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so drained. He sighed pushing himself up, joining Fili in the bathroom and nuzzled his shoulder before pressing a kiss on it. "We can sleep a bit more in the bus."

Fili only grunted in reply and began to brush his teeth. He wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulders and pulled him close, placing a quick toothpaste kiss against his temple before turning away with a soft snicker.

Yes, they'd get to sleep in the bus. And the next concert would only be tomorrow instead of this day. So Fili could just wrap himself around Kili and enjoy himself.

"O-Oy." Kili grumbled wiping his temple with an amused smile, sinking his teeth on the spot Fili's neck met his shoulder. "That's not fair." He murmured against the skin, releasing it with a grin and danced away from the older male.

Fili made a surprised noise at the bite and bent down to spit out the toothpaste and to rinse his mouth. Then he decided to go Kili hunting. Feeling more awake and grinning to himself, Fili stalked after Kili and grabbed him in a hug, lifting him up a little bit and swinging him around.

Kili let out a squeak of surprise when he was lifted up from the ground and swung around, laughing as he struggled and squirmed to get free, crashing on the floor on his knees grinning. He didn't waste time, taking a firm hold of Fili's legs and tugged, pulling him down as well making Fili yelped and flail his arms before he tumbled down as well, laughing loudly.

He wrapped himself around Kili and began to tickle his sides, wanting to find out if that was one of Kili's weak spots which he could exploit.

Kili let out a louder squeak, wriggling and trying to pull himself free using the carpet as leverage, laughing loudly as he twisted in Fili's hands. His cheeks were flushed and eyes bright as he kicked with his feet, fingers trying to still Fili's hands.

He hadn't expected such a strong reaction at all. Fili stilled his fingers as soon as he could feel Kili covering them with his own and raised an eyebrow. Grinning, he pulled back and settled on his haunches. 

“Well. Didn't quite expect that much of a struggle.”

"Shut it." Kili grumbled panting for breath, shooting him a grin before he sat up and pushed Fili lightly, climbing on his lap and pressed their lips together. Fili tasted like that toothpaste of his, minty and fresh and Kili smiled into it.

Fili returned the kiss eagerly and wrapped his arms around Kili's shoulders. He liked the softness of Kili's lips still and he snickered into the kiss before he traced Kili's lips with his tongue, curious to feel the texture.

Gasping softly at the feel of Fili's tongue Kili obediently parted his lips so the other could explore as much as he wanted, but only caused Fili to make a surprised noise when Kili opened his mouth, not having expected that. He almost changed his mind and pulled back but then decided differently, meeting Kili's tongue.

It was a wet slide and Fili knitted his eyebrows together, not sure if he was enjoying this or not. It did get better halfway through but he pulled back soon.

“Good?” He asked hopefully and gave Kili an unsure look.

Kili nodded slightly out of breath, licking his lips tentatively. It had been warm and wet, but it hadn't been uncomfortable. A bit weird at first maybe, but it got better and and sent a shiver through him.

"It went better when you got used to it. It felt good." He agreed smiling.

Fili nodded, relief flooding his system. He hadn't told Kili yet that he had literally no experience. That he barely knew what he was doing.

After a thick swallow, Fili opened his mouth to tell Kili but Nathan banged on the door to their room. “You two, stop making out and come downstairs for breakfast! We're leaving in half an hour so you better hurry!”

Kili let out a small noise of embarrassment as they were caught in such position yet again, flashing Fili a shy smile as he slid out of his lap and took hsi hand. "Come on then, we have to eat before going to the bus."

“Right,” Fili agreed and got up and quickly got dressed before he opened the door and led Kili down the stairs and to the dining room, quickly finding them a table. “Order whatever you want to eat, Kili.”

Kili took the small menu, looking at it thoughtfully before ordering a strawberry/cream crepe and juice, placing the menu away. "So where are we headed today the? Seven hour trip is a long one."

“Originally, we were going to fly,” Fili explained and interrupted himself to order some orange juice and some french toast before he continued. “But it turned out to be cheaper to drive. We're going north now, into some of the colder parts. Do you have enough warm clothes?”

"Uh...I think I have, I'll buy more if I don't." Kili replied with a small smile, counting in his head the shirts and jeans he had, and the slightly thicker coat. "If I can't afford it, I'll just spend a day or two working somewhere, depending on the schedule." He smiled.

Fili frowned and opened his mouth to suggest that he pay for Kili's clothes but then he stopped himself. Kili probably wouldn't be comfortable with the idea so he only nodded and sipped at his juice. “Alright. And it'll be three more concerts in total and then the tour is over. Where will you be staying after that?”

"I'm not sure yet...Usually I rent a small flat somewhere nice, or go in a cabin somewhere in middle of nowhere. Then start moving again when you guys start touring again." Kili replied thanking the waiter before digging in his breakfast.

“...do you want to come and stay with me for a little bit?” Fili sounded unsure as he asked Kili. It was clear that Kili was a free spirit and liked to roam and Fili wouldn't stop him. But he would like to spend some time with his boyfriend away from all the masses of people and attention.

Kili looked up surprised, some of the cream stuck on the side of his lower lip as he smiled. "I would love to. Away from the curious eyes, just us?" He asked tilting his head a bit, heart beating faster at the thought of them being alone.

“Just us,” Fili confirmed and reached out to wipe away that little tuft of cream. He licked it off his finger and then focused on his french toast a little. But his foot nudged Kili's own gently and Fili grinned. “No one else.”

Kili beamed, his cheeks flushing a bit as Fili cleaned the cream from his lips and nodded. "Then I'd like that very, very much." He chuckled finishing his crepe, sliding his leg together with Fili's.

And of course, as it was always the case, the boys were interrupted by one of the band members. Nathan dropped a hand on Fili's shoulder and grinned at Kili. “Playing footsie already? It's still early, the two of you should behave.”

Kili flushed darker shade of red, biting down on the strawberry as he leaned against his elbow. "You just want a front row seat, which is not going to happen." He teased finishing the strawberry and licked his finger clean before standing up. "Come on then Fili, can't have them waiting for us. They'll regret one day coming between us all the time when we're stuck in the bus for hours and the tension just grows." He grinned.

“Foiled again,” Nathan laughed and stepped back so Fili could get up. The bassist laughed and got up to follow Kili. “Well, the begging is rather thin so if there will be noises coming from one of the beds, it's hardly our fault because they kept interrupting us.”

Kili flushed darker red but nodded, walking out with the two of them and back into the bus. He noted that their belongings were there already and took his bag, pulling out his drawing pad and sat beside the table starting to finish a sketch.

But Fili went straight to the cots in the back of the bus and flopped down in one of them after kicking his shoes off. He wasn't feeling too good, he was still exhausted and his stomach was rolling around slightly. 

Perhaps he had eaten too quickly.

Kili looked up when Fili flopped down on one of the beds and smiled a bit, turning back on the sketch book. It was a picture of the band he had started a while ago in the last place, with them on the stage before a concert.

Jay was testing the mic with a grin, Nathan hitting him with a piece of cord that wasn't even plugged in yet and was matching the grin on Jay's face. 

Jack was on his knee on the floor, playing with the buttons of the loud speakers, tongue poked out in concentration and Fili was holding his bass, sitting on the edge of the stage, legs tangling in the air.

Jay soon joined Kili and threw an arm around his shoulders, eyeing the picture curiously. He grinned at the scene and ruffled Kili's hair. “Looks about right. We do all sorts of bullshit like this all the time. I'm surprised you didn't draw Fili joining in, he isn't the calmest noodle in the water. But then again, I think he'd be making sweet, sweet love to his bass if he could.”

Kili looked up surprised when Jay joined him, his cheeks flushing from embarrassment. "Yeah well...I figured it would maybe be somewhere along like this...I didn't know you when I started to do the picture so..." He smiled a bit, pen sketching Nathan's hair to flow a bit better. "It's just a rough sketch."

“Maybe we should make it the inside are of our new album once it's finished,” Jay teased and watched Kili draw for a little while. Then he oomphed when Nathan sat down on his sprawled out form and waved at Kili. “So, you tapped that ass yet or what, Kili?”

Kili flushed looking up at Nathan, his eyes widening a bit. "W-Wha-- no, I haven't-- it's not even one of your business!" He squeaked out, flinching when Jack dropped an arm over his shoulder. 

"Well we're curious people, sue us." He replied eyeing the drawing in Kili's book, grinning a bit. "It's pretty good rookie."

"See, Jack agrees,” Jay piqued up and shoved at Nathan, to no avail. The other man was too heavy and too immovable. 

Stubborn asshole. 

“We should make this the inside of our cover, I'm telling you!” 

Nathan peeked at the paper and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, looks good. I'm more curious about why you haven't elevated Fili out of his virgin status yet.”

Kili snapped his attention on Nathan, his eyes wide and cheeks bright red. "Of his...his what? I didn't know he was still..." He frowned a bit, casting a look at the figure on the bed. Was Fili really a...a virgin still? The thought that Fili wasn't sleeping around and wanted _him_ was dizzying and he lowered his gaze ashamed. So they were both...inexperienced. 

They could learn together, right?

"Fili didn't tell you? Shit,” Nathan drew his eyebrows together and finally slid off of Jay to have a proper conversation with Kili about this. Jay only sighed and propped himself up on an elbow. 

“Yeah, Fili hasn't gotten around to sleeping with anyone yet, not that there's any shame in that. Lotsa people wanted his attention when we became popular but Fili turned them all down. Back in High School, too. Was busy with his sister back then. Pretty sure he made out with anyone before,” Jay explained and Nathan, not one for long regrets, grinned.  
“You did make out by now, right?”

Kili listened to them with rapid attention, wanting to learn more about Fili, feeding on the information. He nodded at the question, his cheeks red as he leaned thankfully in Jack's embrace. "We've...made out a bit, yes. Not much, not long, just..testing." 

And he understood now why Fili had been as nervous as he had been too. "This is going to be interesting then...I've never...laid with anyone either, so.." He glanced at Fili, focusing back on the sketch book in front of him and sighed a bit. "I just hope he won't regret taking me with him."

Nathan rolled his eye and reached out to flick his finger against Kili's nose. “Stop talking nonsense. He's not going to regret anything and neither are you. I'm just surprised you haven't done it because the tension's pretty thick already. Dunno if I'd been able to hold back.” Jay scoffed and nudged Nathan's side, muttering something about texting a pair of girls. 

"The tension?" Kili asked surprised, lifting his gaze up like he could see the said tension hang in front of him. So there was some kind of tension then. It just...hadn't snapped yet. Kili bit the inside of his cheek, trying to imagine when and how it would snap and the two of them would move with primal instincts and....Kili shook his head to clear it, smiling at them all. 

"Thanks. This explained few things of him."

Jay grinned at Kili.

“It's fine to explore together. Take your time.”

Jay ruffled Kili's hair and nudged him a little before getting up. “Come on Nathan, Jack. Let's leave Kili alone to draw some more. We can go over the lyrics Fili wrote yesterday and see if any of them are any good.”

Jack smiled ruffling Kili's hair as well and Kili wondered briefly if he really just became the band's pet and smiled as the others left him alone. Yet he couldn't focus on the band drawing right now. With a soft noise he flipped the page over, starting to sketch a new picture.

********************************************************************************************************************************

Fili stayed asleep for most of the duration of the ride. The concert had really taken it out of him and the way they'd been forced to start the day early wasn't good for his blood pressure. But after several hours, he finally rolled out of the cot and staggered around sleepily until Jay took pity on him and guided him to Kili.

Fili only murmured sleepily before his head flopped against Kili's shoulder.

"Morning princess." Kili greeted him with a warm smile, letting the pencil rest on the table on top of the sketch (of Fili playing his bass on the same fence they had met on the first time, one knee propped up, other hanging over the edge) as he slid his fingers through Fili's hair, nuzzling him gently. "Was wondering if you'd sleep all the way to our destination. We still have a three hour ride left." He explained softly.

“Not a princess,” Fili slurred out and gave Kili a sleepy, irritated look and Kili had to chuckle, since the older man resembled more like a very grumpy puppy at the moment. But Fili still leaned into the touch of Kili's fingers and stared at the picture, barely registering Kili's next words. 

He was too transfixed by the picture, lips curling into a smile. He recognized the fence. “'s pretty.” Fili traced the lines on the picture and then blinked at Kili. “Three hours?”  
Three hours meant three more hours of sleep. Possibly with Kili lying next to him.

“Come back to the cot w'me.”

Kili smiled bashfully at the compliment, shrugging his shoulders a bit. "I guess it's alright, it's still a work in progress so..." He smiled turning to take Fili's hand, not saying anything and instead just lead him back to the cot, crawling in before beckoning Fili to follow him with his fingers and a teasing smile.

“'s even better for a work in progress,” Fili mumbled as he crawled into the cot and flopped down, half on top of Kili, half next to him. He ignored the snickers from his band mates and just pulled the still warm covers over Kili and himself. “Y'smell good.”

"And you're still half asleep." Kili snickered amused, nuzzling his nose in Fili's hair to distract himself from the snickers and catcalls of the others, his cheeks red. They were imagining their own, there was no tension..right? 

He wrapped an arm around Fili, holding him close.

Fili lifted his hand to give his friends the one finger salute before he cuddled close to Kili and stole a short, sweet kiss. He was warm, comfortable and rather happy. Kili was here and if the others, weren't, well... Fili would probably touch Kili a little more before falling asleep.

He smiled up at Kili, his gesture open and happy and trusting. Then he buried his face in Kili's shoulder and threw his arm over Kili's hips to keep them pressed close to each other.

Jay finally poked his head into the cabin after Fili had fallen back asleep and gave Kili an amused look. “Careful. Sometimes, he drools.”

Kili looked at Jay amused, running his fingers through Fili's hair. "That's not the problem, the problem is that I'm not sleepy but I'm pretty much stuck." He whispered back looking at Fili sleeping beside him and shook his head.

“Poor you,” Nathan drawled and draped himself over Jay's back. He grinned down at the pair and disappeared again. Jay rolled his eyes and tugged the pillow up to Fili's chin in a concerned big brother manner. “I'm sure we'll find...” Jay trailed off when Nathan appeared again, holding out his kindle of Kili. “Here. You can use this one handed so...”

Kili accepted it carefully, shifting it in his hand before smiling up at Nathan. ."Thank you."

“Ain't no problem, mate,” Nathan grinned and dragged Jay back to review the lyrics.

Fili only burrowed closer to Kili and snuffled. He was having a nice, lazy dream that he didn't want to wake up from any time soon.

Kili maneuvered them a bit, carefully, and when he was comfy and was sure Fili was comfy, he used the kindle to keep himself entertained by playing different games, reading the magazines and finding himself on the cover with Fili again. 

Though this time it didn't bother him. 

This time it made him grin he read the article of Fili's mysterious boyfriend and shook his head a bit. In the end they said they had hoped to get an interview from him as well, but so far they had no luck of reaching him. 

Huh. 

Better be prepared then. He knew he had to say something at some point after all.

The minutes trickled by and finally, the bus came to a stop. The band grinned and chatted quietly but none of them came along to wake Fili and to check on Kili just yet. But they took care of the bags and instruments and got the hotel room keys.

Finally, Jay approached and crouched down next to the cot, shaking Fili's shoulder. “Fi, time to wake up. You've been using Kili as a pillow for long enough now.” 

Fili groaned and lifted his head. He blinked several times before looking around. Then he looked up at Jay again and blinked.

Jay rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yes, we're there. Yes, I got you your key. Here, Kili. Make sure Fili reaches his room safely?”

"Of course." Kili agreed taking the key and sat up carefully, the right side of his body limp and tingling where the blood started to flow again. He handed the kindle back to Jay, rolling his shoulder carefully as he looked at Fili and gently nudged him. "Come on then sleeping beauty."

Fili groaned but got up. He placed a hand on the wall to steady himself before he nodded to himself and held out a hand to Kili. “I'm awake. I'm up. And 'm not a sleeping beauty,” he groused but still shot Kili a smile. He shot Jay a small slate, who merely shook his head and exited the bus again.

"You are, or can you see yourself sleeping?" Kili asked standing up as well and nudged Fili gently. "We'll get inside and order room service, you have to eat something."  
Fili blinked and brushed the hair out of his eyes to look at Kili.

Food. 

Food would be good. 

It would get his blood sugar back up, too. He nodded and traipsed over to the door leading out of the bus. “And sleeping beauty was woken by the prince of a kiss. I didn't get that so I can't be sleeping beauty.”

"I'll remember that for the next time." Kili chuckled following Fili out of the bus, thankful of the lack of paparazzi's as he took Fili's hand and lead them in the hotel. It was a bit smaller than their last one, but it was just as comfy. 

He lead Fili to their room, opening it with the key and ushered Fili inside before closing the door. "What do you feel like having?"

“Pancakes. With bacon and maple syrup,” Fili said with a dreamy expression on his face. He hadn't had that since forever and it was just so delicious. He loved the dribble of the syrup, the sweetness couple with the salty bacon bits... Yum.

Fili settled down on a chair and rubbed his eyes.

Bacon, pancakes and maple syrup. Kili had to admit it was a bit weird but he didn't question it as he picked up the phone and called the room service, ordering Fili his meal and settled on chicken wings himself.

“Did the boys bug you a lot during the ride?” In a way, Fili regretted falling asleep. He'd have loved to chat with Kili and to just sit next to him but he'd been so tired...

"Not much." Kili assured him smiling, looking at Fili with a shy expression. "They asked me if we've had...sex yet, and demanded to know that we've at least made out."

Fili winced and returned Kili's shy look with an awkward one of his own. “Sorry that they brought it up. They should have known better than to pry.”

"It's alright, I wasn't too troubled." Kili rubbed his neck with a small smile. "They're your friends, family, after all. It's natural to tease and make sure I treat you well." He chuckled opening the door when there was a knock, and took the tray with a thankful nod.

Fili grumbled under his breath but he agreed with Kili. He had good friends, loving friends who made sure that he was fine. That he was safe and loved. He smiled a little at the knock and got up to take the tray from Kili, mouth watering at the smell of food.

Kili smiled snatching the small plate of chicken wings before he sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the rest of the tray for Fili to devour. He nibbled on the crusty skin, glancing at Fili now and then, deep in thought.

Fili was obviously enjoying himself. The pancake was nice and brown and the bacon still slightly soft. Plus, the pancake was absolutely drenched in syrup. Just the way he loved it. He devoured his food happily and then leaned back with a satisfied sigh.

He felt far more awake now and shot Kili a toothy grin. “Did you like your lunch, too?”

"It was delicious." Kili chuckled rising up to place the plate back on the tray, looking at Fili and was glad to see the color return on the man's face. "You look a lot better too, that's what you get for going so long without eating." He chastised him gently.

“It wasn't that long,” Fili protested and crossed his arms over his chest. “I had...” He paused. Breakfast and... breakfast. Then the concert, then the night at the hotel, a french toast and now dinner. “...enough food.” Fili's voice was more of a mutter than his usual confident tone.

Kili lifted an eyebrow at the mutter, looking amused. "Not enough, I should have realized to wake you up for a snack but.." He smiled a bit, sitting back on the edge of the bed.

“You're not my caretaker, Kili.” Fili grinned and slunk over to Kili to settle down in his lap, finally giving in to the urge to cuddle. And to make out a little. He liked making out. “So don't worry about me, yeah?”

"Of course I worry about you, you're stuck with me, remember?" He asked teasingly, trailing his hands up in Fili's hair and smiled at the man.

“Vaguely.” Fili smirked and leaned in to steal a couple of short, sweet kisses. He grew more confident with each one and soon, he moved his lips down to Kili's neck to kiss it, making Kili let out a shaky exhale and tilt his head back, fingers tightening their hold in Fili's hair.

Fili let his lips trail all over Kili's neck, even dipped down to the collarbone briefly before he moved back up. He smiled at Kili and claimed his lips again, this time in a longer, deeper kiss.

Kili's breath hitched, his eyelids fluttering close as he let out a tiny noise in the kiss. He responded it as deeply, tugging Fili closer as his stomach flipped with nerves.  
Not wanting to push both of them too hard, Fili pulled away after a little while and ran his fingers through Kili's hair, untangling it and petting it tenderly. His cheeks were flushed and he looked pleased with himself.

Kili shuddered when his hair was untangled from the ponytail it had been and he shook his head a bit to clear them before leaning into Fili's touch. He gazed up at the other man with a smile, reaching up with his thumb to trail it across Fili's lower lip.

He let out a surprised gasp when Fili started to lick and suck on his finger, drawing it past those lips in his wet, hot mouth. Kili had to bite his own lip to keep himself quiet as he exhaled slowly and moved his thumb a bit. 

He pulled it out to slide it across Fili's lips again before slipping it back inside, teasing Fili's tongue with it. The hooded look Fili gave him caused his heart to jump as he returned it with a small smirk and teasing look of his own.

Oh. 

This hadn't been one of his greater ideas. 

Well, that was a lie. This had turned out to be a great idea but Fili had actually planned on making Kili moan and groan, had wanted to turn him into a quivering, shaking mess. Fili seemed to pout around Kili's finger before he sucked on it with newfound purpose, nipping, licking and gently biting at it.

It didn't really taste but like anything but Fili's gaze grew hooded and he sucked the digit into his mouth. His eyebrows knitted together and Fili suckled softly at the finger, eyes fixed onto Kili's.

Kili's breath hitched as Fili started to attack his finger, and for a moment he allowed it. He allowed Fili suck, bite and lick it, his own cheeks growing red by every second that passed before he pulled his finger free, claiming Fili's lips with his own in a hungry kiss.

Mission accomplished. 

Fili's lips quirked into a grin briefly before he focused on returning the hungry kiss, struggling not to get swept away by the pure need pooling in his stomach. He made a low sound and rolled his hips once, pressing them against Kili's belly and the younger boy let out a surprised noise, his own cheeks coloring red as he sucked Fili's lower lip in his mouth, tugging at it gently. 

He swallowed sliding his hands on Fili's hips, holding onto him as his own hips moved carefully, out of instinct.

Kili was being so good to him. 

Fili shuddered and bit down carefully on Kili's upper lip as his hips kept rolling carefully, making a pleasured noise when he felt Kili pressing against his bottom, grinding down a little. 

It felt good, too good and Fili paused, panting as he pulled away. “We should... at least open our pants.”

And again the younger man kept surprising him. 

Fili had expected Kili to nudge him away, to undo his own pants while Fili did the same thing but this was far more intimate, Kili's hand sliding between his legs. Fili's cheeks filled with color as Kili teased him, pressing and kissing his neck and making Fili shiver. 

The bassist, not to be outdone, lifted himself up a little and reached between their bodies to undo Kili's button and zipper as well, panting slightly.

Kili smiled against Fili's neck, pulling away when the bassist rose up to open his jeans and whimpered at the touch grazing between his legs, staring at him with hazy eyes. He swallowed tugging Fili's pants down a bit so the zipper couldn't damage him before doing the same to himself and pulled Fili back on his lap.

“Fuck, Kili.” Fili gave Kili a breathless look and ran his hands over Kili's arms before he leaned in to steal several more, quick, hard kisses. He ground back down against Kili's cock as well before he scooted back on Kili's lap a little, peeking behind himself as to not fall off the bed. Satisfied, Fili reached down and took hold of Kili's cock with curious, trembling fingers.

Kili's hips jerked surprised at the contact and he let out a long keening noise, his fingers digging on Fili's hips as he panted through parted lips. 

He hadn't expected for Fili to touch him this way but it was a welcomed surprise as he fought to stay still and let Fili explore him.

And explore Fili did. 

He ran his fingers over the hot skin and petted it curiously, rubbing a little and drinking in every sigh, every noise Kili let out. Finally, Fili looked down and licked his lips at the bright redness of Kili's cock before focusing back on Kili's face.

Kili's head was tipped back in pleasure, lips parted and eyes squeezed shut, his fingers digging on Fili's hips as he panted harshly. Every touch laid on him sent electricity through him, making his toes curl and fingers flex. 

If he didn't know better, he'd say Fili was teasing him. 

He opened his eyes and tilted his head a bit to throw Fili a dazed look.

Noticing the dazed look Fili leaned in with a smile, kissing Kili on the lips to chase away his doubts. More confident in his own skills now, Fili finally gripped Kili's cock properly and gave it a couple of slow strokes before he began to sped up.

Kili leaned forward, trying to chase those lips in a proper kiss instead of a chaste brush but his movement stopped like he collided with a wall as Fili started to stroke him firmer and faster. His body slumped on the bed with a surprised moan, and he lifted his hand to bite on the skin between his thumb and index finger, body trembling under Fili's.

Fili made no move to pull Kili's hand away from his mouth and just focused on rubbing the heated flesh, occasionally rolling his hips for additional pleasure. His touches were unskilled and clumsy, Fili knew that, but Kili was looking and reacting as if he was getting pleasured by a professional.

So Fili trudged on, swirling a finger around the head before gripping the base and stroking up slowly. “Come whenever you want to, Kili.”

His cock twitched in Fili's hand at the other's words and he knew that he would come very fast at this rate. He hadn't realized before just how badly he had wanted Fili to touch him and the feeling was overwhelming.

Kili let out a breathy whine against his hand, his hips pushing up a bit, chasing the friction and pleasure Fili was giving him.

Mischief sparked up in Fili's eyes and he leaned in, licking at Kili's ear and then nipping at it. His hand moved faster and he let out a ragged breath as he glanced down between their bodies, seeing the precome drip from Kili's erection in small, white beads. 

“Gods, Kili, want to see you come so badly. You're so beautiful like this.”

Kili's body tensed at the unexpected words and he whimpered biting down on his hand harder, his eyes squeezed shut as Fili breathed and panted against his ear.  
It was becoming too much too fast and with few more strokes Kili's body tightened and muscles quivered as he reached his peak with a choked sob, his release coating Fili's hand as he trembled and keened through it.

Fili shuddered alongside Kili but didn't come though his cock was straining and throbbing and red. Fili smashed his lips against Kili's in a desperate attempt to drink up every little sigh and breath and noise Kili made as he came, wanting to keep them all for himself.

The slickness against his hand made Fili pull back and bring his hand up with a ragged breath. Curiously, he eyed Kili's come and then licked at it, pulling a face at the taste.

Kili stared up dazedly, letting out a silent whine at the sight of Fili licking his come from his fingers. He released the hold of his hand, wincing at the angry red marks that stared right back at him and knew they would bruise.

But it didn't matter right now.

Kili reached up, pulling Fili in another kiss as his hand snuck between their bodies, fingers sliding up Fili's cock slowly, experimenting and learning. It was smooth and hot, and he could feel it pulse under his touch. Fili let out a startled gasp at the sudden touch, at the pull and brush and rub and he threw himself into the kiss, moaning shakily as his hips stuttered slightly into the touch. 

It wouldn't take long, he knew, too riled up from seeing Kili spill, too riled up from the intimacy of it all. “Ki-- Kili!”

Kili let out a moan of his own at the sound of his name coming from Fili's lips and he pressed their lips together in a needy, messy kiss as his fingers wrapped around Fili's cock and stroked slowly, gaining speed once he felt comfortable and sure enough to do that.

Fili let out a broken noise as their tongues clashed and ignored all previous thought about this not feeling good. It felt better than good, it felt divine. 

Feeling his peak approach, Fili sought out Kili's free hand with his own and gave it a desperate squeeze.

Then he fell over the edge and he let out a string of soft little noises, shuddering and shivering and whining against Kili's lips.

Stroking him until he could feel Fili go soft in his hands, Kili released his hold of him wide eyed. He took a moment to catch his breath, his cheeks red as he stared up at Fili before clamping his teeth on Fili's neck, sucking a mark on the skin.

It felt like something he had to do, to stake his claim just like Fili had claimed him...in front of the whole stadium of audience.

Kili would never fail to surprise him. 

Fili shuddered at the look the other man gave him and then let out a little mewl at the bite and suction, eagerly tilting his head so Kili could mark all he wanted. It was only fair and to be honest, Fili wanted everyone to know that Kili was the one leaving marks on him, touching him like this, spoiling him in the best ways possible. Kili let out a pleased hum, trailing his lips a bit higher before biting down again, sure to leave purple marks on his skin that Fili couldn't hide. 

He smiled when he finally released the abused skin and fell back on the bed licking his lips, finger tracing the teeth mark making Fili shudder again and lay down next to Kili, curling up against his side and tracing lazy drawings against Kili's stomach. 

Fili smirked, slightly sleepy but eager to see what the marks looked like later. “Worried that people will still think that nothing is going on between us after all?”

Kili chuckled wrapping his arm around Fili, holding the other one close. "Just wanted to show them that this is very much happening." He murmured pressing a kiss on Fili's forehead before yawning.

“As if I'd deny this happening,” Fili grinned and pulled up the blanket to cover Kili with it. Fili himself wasn't tired, having slept all the way to the hotel but he couldn't blame Kili if he wanted to rest. Tenderly, Fili kissed Kili's forehead and the brushed his dark hair away from his face.

“Sleep, Kili. I'll go and bug the others.”

Kili smiled thankfully, tugging Fili in a tender kiss before letting him go. "Don't shock them too much." He yawned curling in the softness of the pillows and blankets, falling asleep in matter of minutes, the seven hour trip on road exhausting him.

“With what would I shock them?” Fili laughed quietly and kissed Kili's cheek before getting up and adjusting his clothes. He ran a hand through his messy hair and went to wash his hands before crossing the hallways and knocking on Jack's door, hoping that everyone else would be there already, too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically the band members being good friends yet leaving Fili very embarrassed. I think the sex education has something to do with that.

Everyone were indeed in Jack's room, laughing and drinking a bit since they had tomorrow off and they were a bit surprised by the knock. Jack was the one to open the door, letting Fili inside with a pat on his shoulder. 

"What brings you here and where did you leave--" He trailed off at the sight of the angry marks on Fili's neck and bursted out laughing, throwing an arm over Fili's shoulder. "Would you look at that!"

“Kili's asleep.” Fili looked up at Jack with a small frown. Then his cheeks went red and he raised a hand to cover the marks against his neck as if to shield them from any teasing. He rubbed them self-consciously before he gave the others a sheepish look.

Nathan smirked and got up to tug Fili's hand away from the marks. “Look at them, Jack. Someone was vicious with our little baby.”

"I can see that, the kid doesn't look like a biter but seemed like I was wrong." Jack grinned eyeing the marks curiously, before his eyes dropped and he had to keep himself from laughing yet again. "I was about to ask what did you do to tire that boy out but...." He nodded his head towards Fili's jeans that still held an open button.

Silently, Fili raised his head to look at the ceiling and willed it to come crashing down around him. Or to come down on his nosy band mates. But finally, Fili just laughed and tugged the button into the loop. “It's not as if too much happened. Just... stuff. That and he didn't get to sleep while I did.”

"Stuff involving open buttons and bite marks? I can imagine." Jack grinned nudging Fili to join others on the couch as he went to get Fili a beer, opening the bottle. "Well, spill it out then. Was it worth the wait?"

Fili took the bottle and decided to just fill in the others with the grace or a porcupine. Nathan was smirking and Jay was waggling his eyebrows at Fili so the bassist sighed and took a sip of the beer before answering. “Yes. It was worth the wait. It was... really, really nice. Didn't really expect it to happen already, all things considered but... Yeah, it was really nice. Wouldn't mind repeating it.”

Fili's cheeks were crimson but he had at least answered truthfully.

"You didn't go all the way yet, did you?" Jack asked from where he was leaning against the wall, a bottle in his own hand as he looked at Fili amused. "You'd look a lot more disheveled or would limp otherwise. Depends if you take or are taking." He added taking a sip of the bottle. "I'm glad you found it pleasant, and that you finally threw that V-card of yours away. Seriously, can't be healthy."

Fili frowned at Jack and shook his head with a quiet, tired laugh. But his eyes were bright as he pulled up his legs to prop up his chin on his knees. “No, just touching. Hands. Nothing else. We didn't go all the way or I would still be curled up with him and enjoying the afterglow,” Fili admitted and sipped at his beer. “It's not as if staying a virgin is a crime, Jack. Or as if that's unhealthy.”

"You're over 20, and before the kid hadn't even kissed. I'd say that's unnatural." He teased but his eyes were fond. He loved Fili like a brother and would never want to harm him in any way. "I'm glad you two found each other, it's obvious you're good for each other."

Fili's frown deepened and he gnawed at his own bottom lip. Should he have found someone sooner? Was it really that unnatural to wait? Not that it mattered anymore but the boys made it out to be such a big deal...

Jay nudged Jack's side when he noticed Fili's frown and shook his head a little. Then he grinned and kicked Fili's leg lightly. “I agree with Jack, you and Kili look good together. Are you going to stay together, too, once the tour ends? Housing wise, I mean.”

Fili looked up and gave Jay a small grin. He nodded and chugged down half of his beer before he answered. “I offered him to stay with me for a while and he agreed.”

Jack sighed a bit when he saw the look on Fili's face and walked over to him catching him in a head lock. "I didn't mean anything bad with it, Fi. It's just that between us all, you are the most innocent one. Well, you and Kili both right now." He said ruffling Fili's hair gently.

"'m glad the kid stays with you, you two are just suitable for each other said anyone whatever they want."

“Innocent?” Fili's lips quirked up as he tried to wiggle out of the headlock, laughing when he finally escaped it. “I've been spending time with all of you, do you really think I'm still innocent? And Kili will lose that innocence soon, too, if he keeps hanging out with us.” 

He swung up his bottle and then yelped when Jay tackled his side and straddled his side. The singer was smirking up at Jack and raised an eyebrow. “Did we ever give Fi the birds and the bees talk?”

"I don't think we did." Jack replied with a grin as he pressed himself on Fili's other side, looking very thoughtful before he grinned wickedly. "You see Fi, when two people love each other very much..they want to be very, very close to each other." He started looking at Jay grinning.

“This is not happening!” Fili groaned and buried his face in the couch, trying to smother himself until he passed out to escape from this torture. It wasn't really working. Jay was grinning as he leaned in to blow a breath against Fili's ear to tease him. “So in order to be very close to each other, they begin to kiss and to touch and to undress.”

Jack had to hide his own laughter at the sight of the young one squirming and obviously suffering, but it was too good to pass. "And when they're completely undressed, they touch even more, even down _there_ and it feels sooo good." Jack hummed.

“And when you get down to it, you're going to need lube, Fili. Lots of it. Not sure how you and Kili want to do it but whoever is the receiving one should get lubed and stretched out nicely before any entering can be done. Remember that there is never too much lube,” Jay continued on cheerfully while Fili squirmed and gave Nathan a pleading look. “Nathan, please, help.”

The guitarist laughed and took pity on Fili, walking over and pulling their bassist out between the other two members. Fili was just about to thank him until Nathan threw him over his shoulder like a pile of potatoes and then his cheeks went red when Nathan slapped him lightly on the tush.

“Plundering the booty is very enjoyable,” Nathan informed Fili with a glint in his eyes and Fili groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Jack laughed standing up and walked over where Nathan was holding Fili and cupped his cheek gently. "And then there's this magic spot you can hit if you angle your hips juuuust right, and it'll blow both your mind. The receiving one from the intense pleasure, the taking one with the way they will clench and gasp and moan." He continued dancing a bit. 

"And when it all is over, when you feel the waves of pleasure crash over you both, then it's over and you can move to kissing and loving each other tenderly. Unless you start playing around and go for another round."

That was it. Fili wanted to die. 

He groaned and went limp, hiding his face behind his hands to try and blend out his band mates. He had the worst friends. The worst!

Jay laughed and joined Jack in his dancing. “And just imagine the other round. If the receiving one stays the same, he's going to be sensitive and tender and really receptive to touches.” And Jay knew because he'd already done this with a previous girlfriend and she's practically turned into mush. “Right, Jack?”

"Right." Jack agreed with a grin, taking pleasure on seeing Fili so embarrassed. They rarely had chances like this to tease him. "You could probably make them come by just few well placed thrusts and touches. And they're mewling and begging to give it to them faster. Or maybe you're kinky enough to use something to stave off their release and tease and fuck them enough for them to have so many dry orgasms but never really falling over before you take that bound away from them and they will come so hard they will pass out after it~"

“What the--” Fili lifted his head and stared at Jack. He'd heard about some things but never something like this. Never anything like this. That sounded like such idiocy that Fili just had to call Jack out on it. “That is such utter bullshit, these things don't exist.”

Jay stopped dancing and stared at Fili. Nathan tilted his head a little, mouth half open. “Oh my God, Fili. You're... you don't have a clue, do you?”

Jack had frozen as well, his eyes wide as he stared at Fili. "You...You really don't know about cock rings?" He asked surprised, the smirk spreading on his lips again. "This is priceless! Is there a sex shop around here, we gotta take him there and educate him a bit!" He shook his head bit. "Those things are real, Fili. You slide them on and when they rest on the base of your cock, it won't let you achieve a proper orgasm before it's taken off."

Fili opened his mouth. 

Closed it. 

Then he stubbornly shook his head. 

“You're shitting me, these things can't exist.” No one would be that cruel to deprive someone of an orgasm like that. Not even for shits and giggles or for pleasure.

Jay put a hand over his eyes and then peered at Jack. “Alright, gents, grab you're jackets. We're going shopping and getting out little grasshopper the best of the best and then some.”

"Agreed, we're getting you few things and then you take the tomorrow's day off to learn this shit with your boy, got it? Learn the ropes, both of you. I can't expect he's much better than you in this." Jack sighed grabbing his jacket, tossing Fili his own. "You're both missing so much in the world of pleasure that I want to weep."

Nathan set down Fili on his own two feet and helped their bassist into his jacket, who still frowned at the others. “Will you knock it off? We've only-- We haven't even-- There was only touching and I don't think we should--” Nathan hushed Fili and threw an arm around his shoulders. “You should. You really, really should.”

"Kili is a traveler, yes? So he's naturally curious. So I think he's very, very open to the chance of learning this too." Jack assured him leaning against Fili's other side, leading them to the door. "It can't hurt either, and trust me, you're going to thank us later."

Fili fidgeted as he was led towards the door and shot his own bedroom door an unsure look before he sighed and his shoulders slumped in defeat. The boys were only pulling his leg anyway, how bad would it be to go along with it? “Alright, whatever.”

Jay did a little fist pump as and Nathan punched Jack's shoulder happily. “Alright, let's go!”

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

It took them a while but they finally managed to find a shop that wasn't in middle of the city...they still had to look out for paparazzi's after all. Jack was excited, he wanted to teach Fili so he could teach Kili and everyone would be happy. 

He opened the door, pushing the younger one inside. "Well then...there's a lot to watch and not much time if we want to be back before your lover boy wakes up." He said cheerfully, starting to look through the toys.

Fili seemed to freeze up and went tense. Nathan sighed and slung an arm around their poor little rabbit of a bassist and began to drag him through the store, starting with the more innocent things to help Fili relax. 

And relax Fili did. 

He knew about vibrators though the tiny vibes were new to him. He eyed the handcuffs rather critically and by the time Nathan led Fili over to Jack, Fili was almost completely relaxed and even more than a little curious.

"Ah, there you are." Jack said spotting Nathan lead Fili over and motioned him closer to the box he was holding. "See this? This is the toy we were talking about." He said handing it over to Fili, letting him explore it by himself. "It very much exists, and the feeling it gives you is amazing."

Fili took the box with a critical eye and gave the small toy a once over. It didn't look like much, just a ring. 

In bright pink. 

Fili glared at Jack for picking pink but then flipped it over to read the details and explanations.

Jay, in the meantime, busied himself with buying the lube Fili and Kili would need later.

"Found anything you'd like to try?" Jack asked fingers teasing the handcuffs before he picked up a bright red ones the had leather inside so they wouldn't hurt anyone's wrists. The boys could use it as well.

Fili hummed and Nathan raised a couple of packages to show them to Jack. A small vibe, a plug, anal beads and a small vibrator. Basic things, all in black and no additional fun times, very simple but obviously well made. “Nathan said those would be good for beginners.”

Jack lifted an eyebrow at the amount of toys and took the box from Fili, adding it to the pile with the cuffs. "We won't see our boys tomorrow at all." He grinned throwing an arm around Fili's shoulder.

“I'm not saying we're going to use them,” Fili protested with a frown, then blinked as Jay swept by to pick up the toys and made a beeline for the counter to pay for them. Fili shook his head and raised both eyebrows as he watched.

“...We don't even know if Kili'll like them.”

"We're buying them so you can use them." Jack replied nudging them back towards the door. "And trust me, he will like them. Take your time, explore, come so many times you feel milked." He teased.

It was a good thing that Fili was wearing his hoodie. Because at Jack's words, he pulled up said hood and hid behind it as he pretended that he was somewhere else. With less crazy friends around buying sex toys for him, of all things.

Nathan clicked his tongue at the counter and removed the anal beads to replace it with a string of larger beads. Surely, the boys would appreciate it later. And for good measure, and because he was a good friend, Nathan added condoms. Lots of condoms. Then they got it all packed up, paid and tromped back to Jack and Fili. Jay was grinning. “Paid for everything.”

"Just in time too, I think our boy here hopes to be anywhere else than here." Jack grinned nudging Fili with his elbow before tacking his arm and tugged him out of the shop. "Come on then, let's hurry back before our puppy think we've abandoned him completely."

“I'm more worried about Thomas myself,” Jay admitted and grinned sheepishly. Thomas would have their heads if their manager found out that they'd left the hotel to buy sex toys. Thankfully, no cameras flashed or fans screamed as the group piled back into the car and then into the hotel again.

Smirking, Nathan parked Fili in front of his own between again. “Have fun, Fili. If you need help and an explanation, don't hesitate to call me.” 

Fili looked aghast but let out a long suffering, half amused sigh before he slipped back into the bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just thousands of words of our boys experimenting with their new toys!

Kili had just been waking up, his hair a mess and his eyes still half asleep as he looked at Fili with a sleepy smile. "Hey...what's the horrible racket about?" He asked pushing himself up on his knees and yawned, his eyes landing on the bag Fili was holding and looked at him curiously. "Went shopping, I see. Find anything?" He yawned again.

“Too much.” Fili sighed wearily before he laughed and decided to just confront Kili with the situation. Better safe than sorry and flailing around and blushing and stammering had never helped anyone.

Fili flopped down on the bed and held out the bag to Kili. “The boys thought we needed to spice up our lives.”

Kili lifted an eyebrow curiously before he took the offered bag and peeked inside. Immediately his cheeks flared scarlet and he dropped the bag, an embarrassed chuckle escaping his lips. "They...they dragged you in a sex shop?" He asked covering his mouth, trying not to laugh at the mental image.

“Against my will, I might add,” Fili laughed, the sound embarrassed and a little tense but he seemed to relax at Kili's smile and relaxed attitude towards all this. “They laughed at my face when I told them that I'd never been to one and that some of those toys they mentioned sounded downright impossible.”

"I know the feeling. I remember this one night at the tavern when I was talking with this one guy and we were drunk and he started to claim that toys that sounded damn near impossible existed. I had to check it out in the next town and...I never stepped my foot in one of those shops again." Kili said amused, his curiosity getting better of him as he reached in the bag and pulled out the cuffs, grinning a bit at the red color. "Kinky."

“I think Jack picked those out. They're padded so the wrists won't be rubbed raw,” Fili explained and reached into the bag to pull out the cock ring. “I didn't buy into it when they talked about this thing and that's how it started. So of course they wanted to buy one and told me to try it out. Made it sound like it was the greatest thing alive.”

Kili's cheeks turned bright red at the sight of the ring and he cleared his throat awkwardly. "I've...heard of those too. Everyone always compliments them, but I wonder if it's really that good. I mean...if it keeps you from reaching your orgasm, why would it feel good?"

“That's what I wondered, too. And then Jack said something about coming but not actually coming. It's supposed to just feel really good while you're staying stiff.” 

"Like..dry coming?" Kili asked curiously, taking the device from Fili's hands and turned the small box in his hands. 

Fili shrugged slightly, cheeks red and he gave Kili a careful look. “...do you want to try?”

"...Wouldn't oppose of it. Would be pity to have all this-" Kili pointed at the bag. "-and not try them."

Fili swallowed nervously and took the box from Kili's hands, slowly beginning on opening it up. He didn't say anything for a while but then he looked up and smiled at Kili. “Which one do you want to try first? The boys made me pick up a variety of things.”

"Ah shit, I don't know." Kili laughed a bit, pulling the rest of the toys out of the bag and placed them on the bed, looking at each one of them with a curious yet nervous look. 

"Mmh...Maybe try safe first and try the vibrator?" He offered snatching the ring as soon as the box was opened and twisted it in his hands. "...I still don't get it."

“Vibrator then.” Fili smiled and reached for the box containing the toy and began to open it up as well. He liked the black, sleek color of it. He would have laughed his head off if the toys had glittered or something worse. “Well... We should try the ring then, too. To see how it works. If... if you're too nervous, I'm willing to try it out first.”

Kili smiled thankfully and nodded his head. "If you don't mind being the first one." He said crawling over to Fili, lips inches away from his. 

“Not at all.” Fili laughed and leaned in as well, lips brushing against Kili's with every word. 

"But to use it, we have to get you hard first." Kili murmured before pressing their lips together.

“Mhh. I don't think getting me hard is going to be an issue here...” Not with such a gorgeous young man kissing him and loving him and being willing to experiment with him. Fili hummed into the kiss and shifted closer, his knees bumping against Kili's.

"Not with the way you came last time." Kili teased lightly, nipping his partner's lower lip playfully and smiled in the kiss. He crawled over on Fili's lap, throwing his arms around his neck and pressed closer.

Fili snorted and rubbed a hand against Kili's well rounded bottom, massaging and squeezing the flesh. “Are you really going to blame this on me? Because I am more than willing to take the blame for coming when someone as gorgeous as you is getting me off.”

Kili gasped out a moan when Fili started to knead and massage his bottom, arching against Fili with a chuckle. "Such a sweet talker." He panted out moving his lips on Fili's neck as he ground his hips against Fili's, urging him closer.

“Only for you,” Fili replied with a low purr in his voice and rolled his hips back against Kili's. But this position felt too familiar and with a small smirk, Fili flipped them over and pressed Kili down against the bed, pressing them chest to chest.

The brunette's back arched immediately and he keened, wrapping his legs around Fili's waist to pull their hips flush together. He reached up with his hands, tugging him down in another kiss, his cheeks starting to flush from pleasure.

Not one to deny Kili anything, Fili leaned in and kissed Kili on the lips, just pressing for a few seconds before he slipped his tongue inside again. He was getting used to this kind of kiss and it was starting to feel better to kiss Kili like this, too. Groaning, Fili thrust against Kili's crotch, already half content to just lie here and rub against Kili until they were both coming.

"W-We have to--" Kili keened, hips thrusting up. "The ring, we have to try it, we have to stop before we--"

Fili hummed lazily and made a slightly frustrated growling noise but he still slowed his hips and kissed Kili a couple times more before he pulled back. He was half tempted to just jump Kili again and bring them off together with just his hands or his mouth but Fili really way curious about the ring. Impatiently, he tugged his hoodie off and kicked his pants off as well as his underwear. His cock was hard and heavy between his legs and Fili shot Kili an amused look. “What do the instructions say?”

"Uhm..." Kili was a bit taken aback by the eagerness Fili showed as he stripped out of his clothes but blinked reaching for the box, reading the instructions again. "...Basically you have to slide it down your cock till it rests on the base. It should feel like a pressure, and that pressure is what will keep you from coming until we remove it again." Kili read taking the ring before he looked at Fili with a smile and wriggled his eyebrows. "So basically I get to tease you as much as I want and you can't come properly without me removing this thing."

“I think I'm going to enjoy that very much,” Fili grinned and leaned in to steal a quick kiss. Getting to feel Kili kiss him all over, getting to feel his touch and his want without having to focus on not coming would be really, really nice. Fili shivered in anticipation and kissed Kili again, dipping his tongue into his boyfriend's mouth.

Kili wasted no time on pushing Fili down on the bed, his hand slipping under his partner's boxers, fingers wrapping around his cock and stroking few times. "Shall I then?"

The nervousness returned despite the pleasure Kili's strokes brought and Fili chewed on his bottom lip for a handful of heartbeats before he nodded but reached for a small tube of lube. “Here. I don't think it'll go down easily so we should use this, too.”

Kili smiled taking the lube and kissed Fili again as he opened the tube, coating his hand and the ring with it before wrapping his hand back around Fili's cock and stroked to coat him in the lube as well. "At least it's not flavored." He chuckled.

“I don't like artificial flavors and I didn't want strawberry chunks stuck in our lube,” Fili explained breathlessly and spread his legs a little wider with each stroke, pressing back into Kili's hand eagerly. His heart was thundering in his chest from the anticipation and pleasure flooding his system.

Kili tugged his boxers down enough to start slide the ring down his cock, and Fili knitted his eyebrows together shuddering at the first touch of the ring. The further down it went, the more Fili fisted the sheets and tried to keep his hips still and once the ring rested on the base, Fili exhaled. His cheeks were red and his lips parted and trembling. 

"How does it feel?" Kili asked staring at him with wide eyes and red cheeks, licking his lips.

“Pressure... as if someone is gripping the base very tightly. It's not... not bad.” Fili shifted his hips a little and nodded. Not bad at all.

Kili nodded in understanding, wrapping his fingers around his cock again and started to stroke him firmly, fingers dancing on the skin as he leaned down to kiss him hungrily. He was determined to bring Fili to the edge and see if he really couldn't fall over.

And almost instantly, Fili keened and returned the kiss just as hungrily, fingers digging into Kili's back to encourage him rather insistently. Now that the ring was in place, Fili wanted to touch and be touched as much as he could.

Humming in the kiss Kili's back arched at the press of fingers, his own tightening his hold of Fili's cock and stroked him faster, his other hand rising up to tease his nipple, rubbing carefully before tugging lightly. He pushed his tongue past Fili's lips, mapping his mouth and moaned softly.

Dizzily and amused, Fili realized that he should have gotten his nipples pierced on his last birthday. Getting them played with would probably have felt even better. Groaning into the kiss, Fili sucked on Kili's tongue and met it with his own, keening needfully at the tightened hold.

Kili moaned in the kiss, sucking on Fili's tongue as his finger dipped in the slit, swirling around it and spreading the wetness, making the slide even easier with the lube and precome. He lowered his mouth down Fili's neck, biting and sucking.

“Marking me again?” Fili asked breathlessly and with a chuckle in his voice as he reached between their bodies to press a hand against Kili's clothed erection, rubbing slightly. Fili didn't mind hickeys, not at all. And he minded the finger spreading the slickness even less, hips stuttering up to press against Kili's fingers.

Kili gasped out a noise of pleasure when Fili started to rub his erection and nodded, moving his lips even lower as he wrapped them around a nipple and sucked. He took the hint, rubbing his thumb around the slit again, continuing the movement.

Fili didn't need to look down to see his cock twitch in response to the suck on his nipple. He felt it and whined in reply, rubbing Kili's erection faster as if that would encourage the other to move his hand faster as well. Kili's motions faltered for a moment before he tightened his grip and stroked Fili faster, twisting his wrist around the head of his cock as his teeth nipped and teased his nipple.

The blonde squeezed his eyes shut and shivered, hand stuttering to a stop as he focused on the intense pleasure he was experiencing. Lust filled his veins in equal measures to with need and Fili's mouth fell open as the want continued to build and to build-

But the ring prevented Fili from falling over the edge.   
Toes curling, Fili threw his head back and cried out, voice laced with desire.

Kili lifted his head up surprised at the sound of pure need falling from Fili's lips and his cheeks colored bright red as he watched Fili tremble right on the edge...but was unable to fall over. He let out a groan, the sight too much for him as he leaned up and bit Fili's ear. "I'll be damned...it really does work." He murmured not stopping his hand from stroking.

It was working more than well and Fili reveled in the new experiences, panting against Kili's skin before Fili blinked distractedly and began to place short, happy little kisses on Kili's ear and neck. Fili wrapped his arms around Kili's shoulders and could only tremble for a little while, pleas falling from his lips before they turned into wordless, encouraging gibberish.   
“Oh God, Kili... Feels so good.” Fili felt drunk on the pleasure, drunk on the want and the touches and on Kili himself.

"Think you could take it if we try some other toys at the same time?" Kili asked hungrily taking in how Fili looked right now, the hazy eyes and red cheeks, the want in his voice as his fingers continued to tease and swirl around the slit.

Fili drew his eyebrows together and went silent for a few seconds, only shaking in response to Kili's question and the touches and the pleasure building and building but not reaching the peak just yet. 

Finally, Fili shuddered and nodded against Kili's shoulder, spreading his legs wider to encourage the other man. He suddenly wanted, needed more and wanted everything Kili would be willing to give him at once. “Yes.”

He was unsure what of them he should use so he looked at Fili, kissing those trembling lips gently. Kili let out a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding and swallowed looking at the various toys on the bed. "What do you want to try?"

Fili blushed up to his ears as he returned the kiss, pulling away a little to gather his thoughts. His legs were trembling and his own gaze unfocused so he could only see the blurry outlines of the toys. 

But Nathan had made the beads sound really appealing and Fili licked his lips before answering, unaware that the smaller beads he had initially picked out had been replaced by larger ones by Nathan. 

“The beads... but...” Fili looked at Kili and gave him a shaky smile, cupping his cheeks. “I'll take whatever you're willing to give me.”

"If beads is what you want, then I'll give them to you." Kili smiled leaning on the touch on his cheek and kissed the palm gently before he reached over and took the beads. "So...I have to add these...in you, and then when they're all in I have to pull them back out in a fast movement." He frowned a bit, it sounded weird but he assumed that many liker couldn't be wrong.

He took the lube, starting to lube the beads to make the slick easier before holding the smallest one against Fili's entrance, leaning up to kiss the other one again.

In one fast movement? Fili wrinkled his nose. Nathan hadn't mentioned that part but if that was what the instructions read, it had to be save. It had to be good.

So Fili accepted the kiss eagerly and spread his legs. But the nervousness made him tense and the first touch of he bead had him trembling slightly as he fought to relax. Thankfully, due to the small size, the bead went in rather easily and Fili began to relax further.

Kili took his time with adding the beads, noting how they grew size by size with every new one and knew Fili had to be relaxed for this to work. 

So he took his time, massaging each bead against the muscles until they gave in and the bead slid inside.

On the same time he continued to stroke Fili's cock slowly, kissing him to distract him, muttering praises against his lips.

And Fili...

Fili soaked up the praises like a sponge and licked at Kili's lips to convey his gratitude before he sunk into a deep, wanting kiss. He felt set alight with pleasure, body hot and receptive to touch and to Kili's words. 

Shaking, Fili kept pressing touches against Kili's back, massaging the skin with unsteady fingers.

The beads felt a little weird but as they kept piling up, Fili could certainly feel the appeal. They filled him so nicely and brushed over spots that made Fili see stars. It was only when he felt the girth of the second to last bead that Fili opened his mouth. “Slow... slow down, please, it's s-so big...”

Kili hushed him gently, nodding in a sign he understood and took his time with the last two beads. He slid his finger down, massaging the rim gently and moaned at the way it was stretched around the beads, slowly pushing the second last one inside and looked at Fili worried.

"A-Are you sure you want the last one too? We can stop here." The last he wanted was to cause Fili any unnecessary pain.

“It's not...” Fili shook his head, trying to find the right words. It was difficult, with his mind scattered in all the directions it was and he had to pause several times before he finally spoke up again. “It's not painful.” 

And it wasn't. Not really and not with the cock ring making everything feel as if it had been set on fire, drowning out most of the discomfort.

“I feel... feel so _full_ , Kili, and it's so _good!_ ” Fili tipped his head back and rolled his hips back. “I want... want the last bead, too. Please, stretch me... fill me.”

Kili looked at him surprised before he chuckled, his cock achingly hard in his jeans as he stretched Fili enough to slip the last bead inside before sitting back on his knees an watched Fili writhe. "Should we take the ring off now or after I've pulled the beads out?" He asked a bit breathlessly.

“A-after.” Fili felt as if he was going to fall apart at the seams, split open and mended back together in the most loving ways. He squirmed, feeling the beads move inside of him and it made him bite down on his bottom lip. “After, I want... want to feel all of this.”

"Alright..." Kili nodded taking a hold of the string and tugged lightly to let Fili know that he was going to pull them out now. He himself took a deep breath before pulling, watching the beads give a little resistance before starting to fall out with a series of wet noises.

Fili couldn't keep his voice down anymore. He cried out as Kili pulled the string of beads back out, back bowing and fingers fisting the sheets out of their places. 

It felt almost too good and more precome dripped from Fili's red, heavy cock. His arms slid up Kili's shoulders after a couple of second, clinging weakly as his entrance twitched around the emptiness the beads had left behind.

Fili made a rather embarrassed noise but it was soon forgotten when Kili reached down to stroke Fili again. Kili didn't waste time, he slid his hand down and pulled the cock ring off of Fili, wrapping his fingers around him and stroked quickly. "So good, you looked so good Fili." He murmured kissing Fili deeply.

The bassist returned the kisses, moaning and whimpering into the kiss before he tensed up, back bowing. A hoarse shout spilled from Fili's lips as he came hard between their bodies, the force of his orgasm making Fili's vision go black around the edges.

“Jesus Christ.” Fili brought a hand up to his head and ran his fingers through his hair. His legs felt weak and ready to give any second. But he also felt very, very sated for now. Laughing breathlessly, Fili pulled Kili into a kiss, invading his mouth with his tongue.

Kili had to agree on that sentence as well and smiled in the kiss, letting out a needy moan as Fili invaded his mouth. He sucked on the tongue, his hips grinding on the mattress and creating some friction to ease the ache on his cock.

And Fili of course noticed the motion. How could he not? Smiling, he reached down to still Kili's rutting hips and made the other lie down on his back. “Let me take care of you now, Kili. Do you want to try out the ring as well or do you want me to make you come again and again instead?”

He still felt a bit jittery, his muscles quivering and breath coming out in short pants but he was desperate to see Kili lose it as well, wanted to see his cheeks red and eyes dark with pleasure.

Kili stared up at Fili flushed, licking his lips a bit and glanced at the toys. "...The second option. I want to try the ring later." He murmured biting on his lower lip.

“Alright.” Fili grinned and brushed a kiss over Kili's cheek and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to reassure him gently. “We'll try the ring another day then. Which toy do you want to try out?”

Kili turned his eyes on the toys, biting his lip a bit as he took in them. "I still want to try the vibrator at least." He replied softly.

“Of course.” Fili kissed Kili's cheek again, trying to reassure Kili that there was really nothing to be ashamed about. Nothing at all, ever. Slowly, Fili kissed the corner of Kili's mouth, then his lips, tugging lightly at Kili's pants. “We'll do that and if you want more, you can tell me.”

Kili nodded in understanding, lifting his hips up and tugging his pants down with Fili's help. His cock was achingly hard and leaking, the front of his briefs wet and he flushed lightly at the sight. 

He hadn't been aware how much Fili had affected on him.

The sight made Fili's lips curl into a grin, not out of spite or smugness but because of sheer wonder. He'd done this to Kili. He'd made him become this hard. 

And so Fili couldn't help but lean down to tug the pants down all the way, removing the underwear to kiss the crown of Kili's erection as he reached for the lube.

Kili gasped at the press of lips against the wet head and he whimpered silently, letting out a slow exhale as he stared down at Fili with a shy smile. He wondered what he had possibly done to deserve all this, to have this great man in his life, touching him and letting himself be touched.

Fili's cheeks reddened when he caught the look Kili was directing at him and he returned it slightly hesitantly with a smile before he focused on Kili's erection again, kissing the head again and again and then suckled lightly at it as he coated his fingers with the lube. “Spread your legs for me, Kili.”

He wanted nothing but the best for Kili. Wanted him to feel safe and loved and secure and without the need to feel ashamed for anything. So Fili lavished attention on Kili's cock, licked and nibbled and kissed and sucked his was down all the way to the base and back up. He licked up the drops of precome as he coated his fingers with lube and then carefully pressed the tip of a finger against Kili's entrance.

Fili waited until Kili gave the go-ahead and then began to circle the muscle, watching it flutter and then relax. It was the relaxed state that made Fili smile and begin to push the finger inside carefully. 

He took his time, never pressing too much and stopped moving his finger until it was in to the second knuckle. “You alright, Kili?”

"It...It feels a bit odd...but I'm alright." Kili answered squirming a bit at the push of the finger and licked his lips before tentatively pushing back against the finger. He had a bad habit of having a little patience.

Fili snorted and kissed Kili's hipbone, then his thigh. He let his finger rest for a couple of seconds before he pushed it in the rest of the way, wiggling it around curiously. Kili felt tight and Fili was admittedly happy that Jay and Nathan had bought so much lube. They'd need it.

Kili moaned arching his back, pressing against Fili's finger, wanting it deeper. It felt like there was an itch he couldn't scratch and he whined silently, fingers scraping down Fili's shoulders.

“Patience, Kili.” Fili grinned and crooked his finger as much as he could and began to rub it against Kili's inner walls as he leaned in to suck at the head of Kili's erection. Kili seemed to be enjoying it and the knowledge pleased Fili immensely.

Kili tossed his head back, laughing out of breath as he keened softly. "Never...really had a good patience.." He panted licking his lips, thrusting back against Fili's finger.

“I don't want to hurt you,” Fili reminded Kili and straightened his finger out again, beginning to move it in shallow thrusts. And with each thrust, Fili gained more confidence until he was thrusting the finger in and out of Kili at a hard but controlled pace.

"N-Not hurting." Kili assured him arching his back again, meeting Fili's thrusts with his hips and threw his head back with a loud cry of pleasure when Fili stabbed something inside him that caused pleasure to course through his veins and vision white out.

Fili nearly pulled his finger back out to scramble up to Kili but then he took a deep breath as he remembered. 

Prostrate. 

It did that. It felt good. Kili wasn't in pain. 

So Fili pulled his finger back out to return with two digits, seeking out Kili's prostrate immediately. “Remember, Kili, no need to hold back. Come as many times as you want to.”

Kili nodded, his lips parted as he could already feel his orgasm fast approaching. Fili had made him feel so good already, and having teased Fili in turn, got him to come and writhe so beautifully had got him so close already. Four thrusts in his prostate and Kili was gone, his back bowing as he mewled in pleasure, coming on his hips and stomach.

Fili removed his fingers when Kili clamped down tight and let him shake through the orgasm, kissing the quivering thighs. Once Kili was beginning to come down from his high, Fili kissed Kili's come stained stomach and nuzzled against it.

Seeing Kili come so hard was making Fili go half hard already.

Kili panted to gather his breath, letting out a small, content noise and looked down at Fili with flushed cheeks and hazy eyes. He slid his hand through Fili's hair, tugging him up in a tender kiss.

Fili laughed at Kili's eager tugging and gave in, kissing Kili happily as he stroked his boyfriend's sides. It was good, more comfortable than Fili had pictured this being after everything that had happened at the store but... It fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

“Want more?”

Kili hesitated, he did want more but he wasn't sure if he dared to ask. But Fili had told him he could come as many times as he wanted and could, but he didn't want to seem selfish either. He sighed in the kiss, nibbling Fili's lip before nodding slightly. "...Please."

“Of course.” Fili's voice was warm and affectionate as he stole one more kiss before he shuffled down again, settling on his haunches. He eyed the handful of toys curiously and hummed, grabbing the vibrator and turning it on the lowest setting. Then he pressed his fingers back against Kili's entrance, waiting for the younger man to relax again.

Kili let out a slow breath, hearing the low thrum of the vibrator and the sound of it caused his heart to beat faster as he welcomed Fili's finger back in his body.

His whole body jerked and he let out a choked noise of pleasure when the toy was pressed against his cock, and he felt it twitch in effort of hardening again. The small vibrations were something he hadn't felt before and it made him twist on the bed, hips pushing back against Fili's fingers.

Fili's experiment had the desired effect. 

Bright eyed and grinning, Fili rolled the vibrator a little around Kili's cock as he moved his fingers back and forth, getting lube everywhere inside of Kili where he could touch. After a few more seconds, he pulled both fingers out and returned with three, pressing against Kili's entrance somewhat tentatively.

Fili took note of the way Kili rolled his hips and shifted up the setting another notch, the vibrations growing stronger and harder. Additionally, Fili leaned in and mouthed against Kili's balls as he pushed the three fingers inside slowly, taking his time and peeking down to watch Kili taking in the digits.

Crying out at the sudden stronger vibrations, Kili's hips snapped up and he impaled himself deeper on the fingers. He whimpered at the mix of pleasure and sight burn he was getting, writhing on the bed gasping and panting as his cock steadily grew harder.

What a delectable sight Kili made. 

Fili hummed and nosed against the base of Kili's cock as he turned the vibrator a little and slid it up and down along Kili's cock, pressing it against the head for a little while before focusing on the underside.

His fingers slid deeper with each one of Kili's twitches and Fili made a pleased murmur once they were buried to the hilt.

Kili mewled twisting and arching a bit, his mouth hanging open in pleasure as he thrust against the toy. Soft, desperate pleads started to fall from his lips, his cheeks bright red.  
And at the pleas, Fili pulled away after nuzzling Kili's thigh. He licked his lips and gave his boyfriend a questioning look. “What do you want, Kili? This little toy...” Fili tapped the vibrator against Kili's cock with each word and grinned. “..inside of you? Is that it?”

"Please-" Kili gasped out at the words, rolling his hips down against Fili's fingers. He needed, he wanted the toy in him, filling him, touching him in a way he was sure he would love.

“Another second, Kili.” Fili smirked slightly as he leaned in so thrust his fingers in and out of Kili, pressing against his prostrate with each thrust and Kili was nearly shouting at each press against his prostate, his vision whiting out as he tried to take the fingers deeper, pleasure making his toes curl as he reached for Fili blindly. 

He swallowed down the whimper threatening to escape when Fili pulled his fingers out and watching with hazy eyes him prepare the toy and spread his legs a bit wider.

For now, Fili turned the vibrations off and just teased, circling the muscle with the toy before pushing inside. Slowly, inch by inch, Fili pressed onward.

Kili's back arched the more of the toy Fili fed him, his breath leaving in a fast exhale as he welcomed the toy in his body. It felt a bit weird, more solid and cold compared to Fili's fingers but it still felt good.

Once the toy was completely settled inside of Kili. Fili leaned over the other and kissed Kili's belly. He spent a couple of seconds stroking Kili's thighs and kissing every inch of skin he could find before Fili peeked up at Kili and then moved in for a kiss.

Kili smiled shaky in the kiss, fingers running through his hair as he sighed softly, feeling full yet so, so good. It was better than he expected it to be.

Fili ran his fingers over Kili's cheek, gently reassuring him and coaxing him to relax. Pulling back a little, Fili reached down to stroke Kili's chest and then turned on the vibrator. 

“Good?”

Kili let out a small gasp as the toy started vibrating gently in him and he made a small noise of pleasure in agreement. It did feel good, the tiny vibrations shaking him to the core in nearly ticklish way.

Fili licked at Kili's lips after letting out a soft laugh and bit down carefully on Kili's full, red lips. He sucked Kili's bottom lip into his mouth and licked and nibbled a bit as he pressed against the base of the vibrator and then tugged at it lightly so imitate shallow thrusting motions.

Kili moaned in the kiss, parting his lips willingly and sighed into it, fingers scraping down Fili's hair to his shoulders as his hips started to meet the shallow thrusts of the vibrator.

Pleased that Kili was enjoying himself, Fili pulled back and licked his lips. Then he smirked and cranked up the setting on the vibrator to the max, almost startled by the fact that he could hear the vibrations ravaging Kili's body, wrecking and tearing it apart.

This time Kili did scream out in pleasure, nearly arching from the bed as his eyes snapped wide open. His mouth dropped open, cheeks flushing dark red as his hips bucked trying to take the toy deeper in his body, twisting and panting against the sheets. 

“Want more toys, Kili?”

"F-Fili, please!"

“I'll take that as a yes.” Fili laughed and leaned down to pull Kili into his lap, wrapping his arms around the other to keep him in place and to help him relax. Tenderly, Fili kissed Kili's ear and began to stroke his boyfriend's erection. “Should I take that as a yes, love?” Smirking, Fili shifted his leg just so, pressing it against the vibrator.

Kili's fingers dug on Fili's shoulders, a litany of curses and moans of pleasure falling from his lips as he thrust forward on Fili's lap. "Y-Yes, please--!" He panted rolling his hips down on the vibrator, a hoarse cry leaving his lips as the toy hit his prostate. His whole body was trembling on Fili's lap, his eyes rolling back in pleasure.

What a sight Kili made, what a feast he was. Sighing happily and with red cheeks, Fili leaned in and nipped at Kili's throat before he groped around for the toys, picking up the first thing that he could reach. Curiously, Fili lifted it up and rolled his hips back as he read the instructions. Curious. He couldn't remember buying this.

But no matter. Grinning, Fili tore the wrapping apart and gave the vibrator another nudge as he pulled out what looked like a sock. Into the sock, tiny, pink vibes had been sewn and the toy had indeed been specifically designed to get pulled over the cock to keep it in place.

Smirking, Fili moved his hand down and wrapped Kili's cock with the sock like toy and proceeded to turn on the nine vibes sew into the sock at once.

When Fili turned the vibes on the sock on, Kili's whole body jerked before tensing, a broken wail leaving his lips as the vibes massages his cock from all the right spots and he couldn't stop himself from coming even if he would have tried.

His fingers dug on Fili's shoulders, mouth wide open and back arched as he orgasmed, waves and waves of pleasure crashing through his body leaving him panting and gasping, crying out when the vibes continued to dig in his skin everywhere. 

His body felt like it was burning from inside, white and black spots dancing before his eyes as his hips thrust forward, fucking himself in the sock and back on the vibrator.

The force of Kili's orgasm made Fili's eyes widen and he stared at his handsome boyfriend as he came, Fili's own lips parted as he couldn't look away from the pleasure and desire on Kili's face as he came.

Fili had expected many things but not quite this kind of reaction. Perhaps it would have been better if he had prepared himself for this eventuality after all. 

Not wanting to hurt him, Fili had begun to reach down to turn the vibes and the vibrator off again but apparently, the force of Kili's orgasm hadn't been enough to tucker him out.

No, Kili only kept going.

Grinning silently, Fili pulled Kili into a hard, messy his as he gripped Kili's sock covered cock and began to stroke it, moving the vibes as he used his other hand to reach back and begin to thrust the vibrator in and out of Kili in shallow movements.

Kili moaned brokenly in the kiss, panting and responding the kiss messily and wet, breathing more against his lips than actually kissing him. It was nearly too much, bordering between pleasure and pain but he couldn't stop. He chased the pleasure, twitching and keening as he thrust in Fili's hand and the sock.

He was aware he was babbling but couldn't make sense of the words as his skin glistened with sweat, his eyes blown wide and dark as he stared at the ceiling.

If Fili hadn't been busy jacking Kili off and watching the emotions flit over his lovers face, he would have launched himself to the nearest desk to scribble down lyrics. The picture of Kili looking well fucked, pleased and drained and yet still seeking more, wanting more made a part of Fili's brain scramble up, made the music and words flow endlessly.

Fili answered Kili's babble with a few, rambled words of his own before he turned up the setting on the vibes and began to actively thrust the toy in and out of Kili, trying to get him to come one last time.

And Kili's lips parted in another scream,his hips jerking forward as he sobbed through the weak orgasm that ripped through his body suddenly, leaving him breathless as he sagged against Fili, whimpering weakly.

He felt completely limp, his eyes slipped shut and lips parted in ragged attempt to breath and he was positive that he would pass out soon. The vibrations kept wrecking through his body, causing him to tremble and jerk, weakly clawing on Fili's arms.

"Shhh.” Immediately, Fili pulled the sock off and turned off the vibrator, pulling it out and dropping both of the toys off to the side. Then Fili wrapped his arms around Kili and pulled him close, rocking him gently in his arms. 

“I got you, you're done, you did so well, Kili.” Carefully, Fili lied down and kicked at the toys to make space for both of them. Chewing on his bottom lip worriedly, Fili gave Kili a concerned look.

It took a while for Kili to catch his breath, letting out a shuddering exhale as he pressed his face against Fili's neck swallowing few times. "Well..." He cleared his throat, his voice hoarse and raspy. "I think...I like these toys.."

Fili let out a relieved laugh and curled around Kili some more, wrapping himself around his boyfriend. He was quite pleased to learn that Kili hadn't been hurt after all and had actually enjoyed himself quite a lot. “As did I. I liked seeing you writhe like this.”

"And you're a sadist loving to tease me, who would have thought?" Kili teased lightly, licking his dry lips and pressed them on Fili's neck. 

“It's not sadistic if I want to see you experience extreme pleasure,” Fili muttered and reached for a water bottle, offering it to Kili with a small nudge. They both could do with more fluids. 

Kili was flustered as he took the offered bottle. "Do you think they heard us?" Kili asked a bit worried, not liking the thought of being teased tomorrow morning by the others. He wasn't sure he could handle that without blushing heavily.

“I'm pretty sure they did. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd spent half of... this crouched in front of the door and listening in to see if we're using the toys.” Fili chuckled softly and nosed Kili's shoulder.

Fili only chuckled and kisses the tip of Kili's nose before he grabbed the covers and pulled them around the two of them. He ran a hand along Kili's side and grinned at him. “Don't worry. I'm used to their teasing so I'll face the music first tomorrow.”

He got a thankful smile as an answer, Kili's eyes already closing when Fili pulled the covers around and over them. 

His body felt warm and limp and his mind was still hazy with the afterglow, and with that he fell asleep in mere seconds.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay guys, I just got back from Germany where I've been the last two weeks!

“So, what are your plans for today?”

"I don't have any plans." Kili chuckled looking at Fili amused and propped himself up on his elbows making a thoughtful noise. "I guess I could look round the city, since I still haven't had a chance to do that."

“You should do that!” Fili grinned at the picture of Kili walking around the city, then frowned then he realized what that would mean. “...you'll need a disguise though. Paparazzi might already recognize you. And badger you needlessly.”

Kili blinked surprised, then realized that Fili was right. He couldn't just stroll around anymore like he used to. "Right...a hat?" He offered walking to his own bag and pulled out a small container, and from there a pair of glasses. "For reading." He explained putting them on.

“It should help. And don't go with a hat. You'll look ridiculous on one. I'll ask Jack if I can borrow one of his beanies,” Fili mused. He began to rummage through his clothes and pulled out a pair of tight looking pants, an even tighter shirt and a slightly glittery snood. “Here. This way, you'll look like the average hipster teen.”

"Or you just like the idea of seeing me in your clothes." Kili teased accepting the clothing and started to change, adjusting the glasses on his face as he wriggled in the tight clothing. He was not used on clothes like this, usually wearing something more...comfortable and loose to give him the most comfort on move.

“Or I like the idea of seeing you in my clothes, whichever you prefer.” Fili shrugged nonchalantly and folded Kili's discarded clothes neatly and stacked them on the bed. He refused to look at Kili right now, he didn't want to see his boyfriend in his own clothes. Probably because Fili would want to peel the layers off immediately again.

Kili chuckled amused and walked over to Fili, pressing his lips on his boyfriend's neck. "I'll be back later then." He promised with a low tone before he grabbed his phone and wallet and left the room.

Kili had always loved exploring each new city he would end up in. He loved to observe the people, compare the foods and sights to what he has already seen, and this time was no different. He took his time sightseeing and eating small dishes in different restaurants, taking photos on his phone and got lost once or twice.

Meanwhile Fili spent his time chatting with the others (once they had stopping their teasing and ceased prodding Fili's side like three year olds) and together, they played around a little. In the afternoon, Thomas dropped by to pick all of them up for a photo shoot. Fili didn't mind stripping down to his wait but the make up artist had tutted and clicked her tongue before covering up his hickeys. Then, apparently, she decided otherwise and let them stay uncovered.

Shaking his head, Fili posed alone and after slapping on another change of clothes, with the boys.

He was jealous if Kili, in that moment. Not that Fili didn't enjoy spending time with the boys or doing his job but he would have liked to see the city. Ten seconds later he realized he wasn't jealous of Kili per se, but of the couples who got to go sight seeing. Fili would have enjoyed doing that with Kili, too, he was sure.

At the end of the day, Fili returned to the hotel and flopped down on his bed with a sigh.

Kili returned soon after Fili had, lifting an eyebrow at the man on the bed and smiled lifting his glasses a bit, wriggling his eyebrows. "Hard day with the boys?" He teased lightly, kicking the shoes from his feet and stretched his arms above his head. "Also how on earth can you wear clothes like these, I feel practically naked with the way the cling on me."

“Photo shoot,” Fili groaned into the pillow, too tired to lift his head or to even sit up. He only flapped one hand around and then sighed. “If you see me on pictures, naked from the hips up and my neck and collarbones covered in hickeys, rest assured, they're yours. The make up lady apparently thought that covering them up would be a shame.”

Kicking his feet a little, Fili finally lifted and turned his head a little to look at Kili. “I don't pick those out, our stylist usually does. Said it makes my ass look great and my nice arms and shoulders stand out. Apparently, should I put on more muscle, I'll look like Thor's not adopted brother.”

Kili lifted an eyebrow at the words, laughing amused as he dropped the bag and walked over to the bed. "They let you keep the hickeys on the photos? That's neat." He grinned running his hand through Fili's hair. "I'm sure that it looks great on you, not so sure about me."

“Appeal to the female gaze, probably,” Fili muttered and leaned against Kili's hand like a touch-starved puppy. He enjoyed the petting for y little while, then looked up at his boyfriend and managed to wrap an arm around Kili's waist. “You look good in them, Kili. Really, really good.”

"Not as good as you'd look." Kili corrected him with a small smile, running his hand down Fili's jaw. He had always been a bit self conscious of his looks, and now when he was with a group like this, it made him feel a bit more like he didn't belong with his own looks. 

“Don't underestimate yourself, Kili.” Fili kissed Kili's palm and sat up a little more, pressing his back against the wall and stretching out his legs. “You're very handsome and you look good in the clothes. Pretty sure several people will prefer you over me in them.”

Kili flushed a bit at the compliment, rubbing the back of his neck with a small sigh. "If you say so." He didn't sound very believing but looked at Fili amused. "I like that they can see the hickeys, a huge 'back off' sign." 

Stifling a yawn, Fili stretched and then shot Kili a toothy grin. “It's not going to stop most of the fans, you know that, right? But feel free to leave more.”

"Oh I will. There'll be a lot of them." Kili leaned forward, pressing his lips on Fili's forehead. "You should go to sleep."

“No.” Fili shook he hand and grasped Kili's hand. He looked determined and stubborn, as if he wasn't going to back off from the matter. “I've spent all day thinking about this because I wish I could have explored the city along with you. Taken you out on a date but that's impossible. So I went ahead and reserved a table for us in the restaurant. The upper one.” The upper restaurant was just a floor beneath the roof and entirely made out of glass. It offered a great view on the city.

"Are you sure?" Kili asked surprised, not having expected for Fili to do this but the thought and sentiment behind the action made his cheeks flush and heart skip a beat.

“I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't.” Fili rolled his eyes but there was a playful grin on his face and he nudged Kili's side. “Come on, let's go upstairs. I want to have an actual date one day but for now, this will have to do.”

"Next time you have a free day, we can disguise ourselves and go out." Kili chuckled tugging Fili up from the bed with him. He was curious to see what kind of restaurant it was, and what Fili had planned for them.

“Not sure how much a disguise I could whip up but sure, why not?” Fili grinned at Kili's eagerness and led Kili to the door, then to the elevator. He stepped out and walked up to the counter, quietly talking to the woman standing there. He returned her easy smile and squeezed Kili's hand as she led them through a nice table near the windows.

Kili was openly gaping at the restaurant as they walked in, nearly stumbling over his own feet as he tried to take everything in at the same time. The blue tablecloths, the ceiling and walls that were actually fucking _windows_ that showed the lights of the city and the stars and moon from the sky and he was giddy when he realized their table was right beside the wall. He sat down, staring out with wide, amazed eyes. "It' so beautiful." He breathed out softly.

“I'm glad you like it,” Fili said quietly and stared wistfully out of the window as well. He enjoyed such views. He'd often dreamed about this, about being able to see the world, the lands, the cities. So many places he wanted to see. Often, people forgot that he wasn't all that much older than the teenagers who listened to their songs. “I wanted to show this to you so... Glad the surprise worked.”

"Worked? I'm amazed!" Kili exclaimed his cheeks red from excitement as he stared outside with a bright smile, taking in the lights, the cars, the lake a little further away.

At least Kili could still enjoy this freely, enjoy the sights and the lights with red cheeks and wide eyes. Fili felt as if he couldn't. So he settled down and nudged the chair back for Kili to settle down on. “It is a pretty sight.”

"It is. And one day we'll be laying on a hill to stare at the night sky, instead of being inside." Kili said with a smile and took a seat, leaning against his arms as he stared at Fili with warm eyes.

“Yeah.” Fili turned his head to look outside as well, missing the warm look Kili shot him entirely. But his lips still curled into a smile as he touched the glass. “I'd like that, Kili.” Kili reached over the table, taking Fili's hand on his own and tugged it lightly to get the other's attention. "Then we'll find a way to do it. We'll get you a wig if we have to." He smiled amused.

“I could just shave my hair off,” Fili joked, equally amused. Yet he still squeezed Kili's hand before he pulled away and leaned back into the chair. “Pretty sure Thomas could turn it into a charity thing. He finds ways to get publicity out of everything.”

"Ah, no. Don't shave it off." Kili replied immediately, eyes finding Fili's hair and he smiled. "I rather fancy them, would be a pity to see them go." He said lifting the menu up, starting to read through it.

Fili blinked at the sudden image of Kili tilting his head back tugging at the blond hair until Fili's throat was exposed to Kili's lips and teeth, offering himself up for more marks...  
Coluring slightly, Fili hid his face behind the menu and began to read as well. “I guess I should keep it, in that case.”

Kili chuckled in agreement, shooting Fili an amused look when the other was hiding behind his menu. "Well I don't know about you, but I'm tempted to try the lemon fish." He said after a while of thinking.

Thankfully, the flush had disappeared by the time Kili had spoken up and Fili had beaten his perverted side into submission. As he lowered his menu, he smiled easily and hummed. “If you're having the lemon fish, I'm having the salmon in the white sauce. It sounds really mouth watering.”

"It really does." Kili smiled telling the waiter their orders, letting him pour water on their glasses and thanked him with a nod before focusing back on Fili. "Did the others give you a hard time after I left?" He asked curiously.

For a little while longer, yes,” Fili admitted and raised the glass to his lips to take a sip fresh the fresh, smooth water. “But they stopped soon enough. They're a good-natured bunched and they stopped once they noticed that it bugged me. I didn't like the way they talk about you. About us. I know they were just fooling around so I'm not mad anymore but still.”

"I understand." Kili nodded playing with his own glass of water before taking a sip and smiled at Fili. He would have probably been disturbed as well, what they had was private, after all.

Well, not so private with the way he had been screaming for Fili the last night, his mind supplied him and his cheeks colored lightly at the memory. "Glad they listen to you though." He added with a cough.

“We're friends. Once their get their heads out of their asses, they're not a bunch a bad guys,” Fili joked and nudged Kili's foot with his own teasingly. Then his expression grew more serious. “But to be honest, they're good guys. Occasionally, they don't know when to stop but that doesn't stop them from being the most creative friends I've ever met in my entire life.”

Kili smiled sliding his leg together with Fili's, resting them together as he leaned against his arm. "I know, Fili. I might not know them that well yet, but i usually tend to have a good human sensor of what kind of people they are."

“...aside from Nathan. Nathan has two brothers and he likes to annoy the heck out of them. Especially the elder one. So Nathan's kind of a douche like that,” Fili admitted freely because Nathan being a petty dick didn't stop him from jumping in and keeping everyone else out of trouble. “But Nathan has his good sides, too. You've probably noticed them by now.”

"I have. He was kind enough to borrow me his kindle when you fell asleep on me in the bus." Kili sounded amused, making room on the table as their dishes were brought to them and he sniffed making a happy noise. "Smells delicious."

“Sorry for falling asleep. Won't happen again, Sir,” Fili laughed and hummed when he saw the salmon, his mouth watering. “It really does. Well, Kili, I hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

"I really, really hope so." Kili replied cutting himself a piece of the fish and tasted it tentatively, making a pleased noise in the back of his throat. "Absolutely delicious, probably the best fish I've ever tasted,"

“Make sure to tell the waiter to give your compliments to the chef, in that case. They'll appreciate it,” Fili reminded Kili with a grin and then dug into his salmon. And it was worth every penny. With a pleased sigh, Fili closed his eyes and licked his lips after the first gulp. "I think I will, they do deserve the compliments." Kili said smiling, eating with good appetite but still appreciating every piece of his meal.

Fili took his time. Sometimes, he still couldn't believe that he had all of this. All of this, the hotel room, the food... The instruments, the fans he'd met. Kili. Above everything else, Kili. Smiling, Fili lowered the fork once he was done eating and leaned back.

"Satisfied?" Kili asked amused as he watched Fili lean back on the chair after the meal, wiping his own mouth on the napkin and smiled at his boyfriend. It felt surreal that he was there, eating dinner with Fili of all people. That he was let into his world was more than Kili could ask for.

“Could go with some desert.” Fili let out a thoughtful hum and knitted his eyebrows together, trying to remember what the menu had read about the deserts in question. It was a good life he lived. He could only hope that all of this wouldn't change him. Or change Kili.

"I have to agree, something on your mind?" Kili asked leaning back on the chair and smiled at Fili. "Something with chocolate or fruits?"

“Panna Cotta,” Fili replied with reverence in his voice. “With strawberry sauce.” It had been ages since he'd eaten Panna Cotta. In fact, he'd only eaten it once before, during the graduation party his family had thrown for him. And it had tasted absolutely divine.

"Then Panna Cotta it is." Kili said telling the order to the waiter once their plates were taken away, also telling them to thank the chief for him, he had enjoyed the meal a lot.

Fili chuckled at Kili's carefully chosen words and nudged Kili's foot again. “Do you want to watch a movie after we go back to our room? I can't exactly take you out to the cinema but watching a movie is what we can do.”

"Planning to make this a proper date then, the whole dinner and movie thing?" Kili teased nudging Fili's foot back before he nodded. "I would love to, only if I can cuddle you as much as I want while watching it,"

“I don't do things half-way,” Fili returned with a small smile and picked up Kili's hand to press a kiss against the palm. Then he lowered their hands to the table and ran his thumb over Kili's knuckles. “And we can always cuddle as much as you want, as long as you want.”

Kili flushed at the display of affection, sliding his fingers together with Fili's and hummed softly. "And now you're just spoiling me. We're never going to get out of that room at this rate."

“Thomas will manage. He has a way with words. And locks,” Fili said cheekily and then looked pleased when the panna cotta arrived. He reached for the spoon and dug in, making pleased noises after the first couple of spoonfuls. “Delicious.”

"He seems a bit scary." Kili replied digging his spoon in it, holding the dessert in air for a moment. "I mean, with the way he was all gloomy and not smiley when he came to get me the first time."

“He is scary and upfront,” Fili confirmed and gave Kili's knuckles another reassuring rub before he pulled his hand back. “And serious and he will get mad if you keep fooling around. But he is also the best manager we could have asked for since he takes so little bullshit from the papers.”

Kili nodded in agreement, taking a tentative bite of the dessert and made a noise of surprise at the taste. He had been a little skeptical of the odd name of the dessert, but it proved to be actually pretty good.

Hiding his smile, Fili busied himself with his food, eating slowly and appreciating every spoonful of the delicious, soft substance. But ultimately, he leaned back and put his spoon down, too full to continue to eat.

"Should we retreat back to our room?" Kili asked reaching over to take Fili's hand in his own again, squeezing it gently. He was full with good food and his spirit was high, higher than he remembered it ever being.

“Let's,” Fili agreed and gave Kili's hand a squeeze in return before he stood up to pay for the meal. Then he took Kili's hand again and led Kili back to their room. It had been a really nice evening but Fili wouldn't be surprised if he would fall asleep soon after the movie. It had been a long day after all and being around Kili made him relax.

Kili closed the door after them, pulling Fili close and satisfying one of the urges he had had all evening and kissed those soft lips softly. It felt so right to be there with Fili like this and his heart was beating quickly, fluttering in pure happiness.

Fili exhaled slowly and wrapped an arm around Kili's waist in return, only holding him gently as he returned the kiss. There it was, the thing he had been missing throughout the afternoon, during the photo shoot and the music practice. He had missed having Kili close, being able to kiss him whenever, actually feeling those lips against his own. Fili's eyes fluttered shut as he ran a hand over Kili's hair, stroking it gently.

The brunette broke it slowly, lingering close to Fili's lips and met his eyes with a smile. "Come on, movie. Before we get too caught up on this."

“Mhm.” Fili hummed as he rubbed his thumb in slow circles over Kili's hipbone, caught up with staring into Kili's eyes. He couldn't ever get enough with exploring every inch of Kili, of trying to read him. “Movie, right. Let's pick one out.”

Kili looked at him amused, his skin prickling under Fili's hands as he gently pulled himself away from the other and walked over to the bed. He took the remote switching the tv on, starting to look through the list of movies it held.

Fili kicked off his shoes and his shirt before he settled down on the bed as well, pulling the blanket around his shoulders to warm them up a little. “Anything you like?”

"We could watch the Avengers?" Kili offered with a shrug, moving up on the bed and curled beside Fili, head resting on his shoulder.

Fili made an agreeable noise and lifted the blanket to throw half of it over Kili. Then he shifted closer to the other man, offering himself up to the cuddling Kili had talked about. “Avengers sounds good to me.”

Kili smiled tugging the blanket properly over his body before he curled next to Fili, settling in the warmth of the other's arms and pressed a kiss on his neck before turning the movie on.

Fili hummed and relaxed when the heat began to gather under the blanket. He enjoyed the movie and occasionally sniped at the silly parts or made silly faces and laughed heartily and at the end of it, Fili was satisfied.

"It's been a perfect day today." Kili murmured at the end of the movie, where he had slipped down to rest his head on Fili's lap, playing with the hem of his shirt. He turned his head to smile at Fili, reaching up to tug him in a lazy kiss.

Fili followed the tug down and kissed Kili slow and sweet, coaxing him into a deeper kiss before pulling back. “And the perfect day deserves a perfect ending. And a good ending, I think, is a night filled with very restful sleep.”

"I have to agree." Kili replied taking the remote and turned the television off before curling deeper under the blanket with Fili. "It could involve some other things too, if I wasn't this tired." He teased before yawning.

Fili made a noise of agreement and kicked off his pants. Then he stifled a yawn behind his hand and stretched until his back popped slightly. Then he gave Kili a sleepy look. “Another day, Kili. There's always another day.”

"I'm aware." Kili smiled curling beside his boyfriend and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "Sleep well." He murmured yawning, letting his eyes close as he drifted to sleep.

**********************************************************************************************************************************

It continued like that for the several next weeks. They would spend time in the bus on their drives between new cities, Kili got to know the other band members and he truly felt like he had a family again. Their concerts never ceased from being amazing, and Kili was always the first one to hug each one of them to congratulate them and welcome them back to 'normal' before curling beside Fili.

But now he was gone, again. Fili. Claiming he had another photo shoot. Kili liked it when they took pictures of Fili, because he would get the extra copies if there were any, but lately Fili had been in many 'photo shoots' and even if he didn't want it, doubt started to gnaw in his mind. They had barely settled in in the new city, and he was already gone, leaving Kili to sit in the hotel alone. He sighed staring out of the window, running his hand through his curls. His imagination was getting the better of him.

They all had been ridiculously busy after the tour had ended. They all had thought that they could get some peace and quiet after this but no. Photo shoot after photo shoot and Fili had been especially busy with these. Jay watched rings begin to appear under Fili's eyes and knitted his eyebrows together but never asked.

Instead, he worried about Kili. Kili didn't know how exhausting this could be, being in a relationship with someone who was busy a lot. Who was constantly in the papers, giving interviews. So Jay had taken a day off and busied himself with knocking on Kili's door, grinning. He was fond of the boy who'd become part of their silly little family rather quickly. 

And he wanted to see him happy.

Kili turned his head surprised at the knock, he had assumed that everyone would take the day off to sleep since they had nothing today except for Fili. He walked to the door and opened it, smiling a bit at Jay. "Hey. What are you doing up?" He asked confused.

“I am going to kidnap you and then you and I are going to go shopping for something that you want. I'm going to take you mind off of things so you can relax and stop worrying about things. And just because Fili's busy, it doesn't mean the rest of us are,” Jay said cheerfully and wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulder. “Come on, grab your shoes and your jacket and let's go!”

To say Kili was surprised was an understatement but he was still happy from the distractions that Jay promised to provide him. He turned around and grabbed his jacket, toying with the shoes to get them on as well before joining Jay again. "Alright, I'm ready. Something you had in mind?"

“You can take your pick but really, I just wanted you to cheer up,” Jay said with a shrug and lead Kili to the elevator. He waited in front of the door and grinned at Kili. “Anything to make you look less gloomy.”

"I'm not gloomy." Kili protested joining Jay in the elevator and glanced at the other man. He appreciated this, he really did. He had never thought someone other than Fili would take the time to hang with him like this. "We'll just...look around and see what catches our attention?"

“It's called window shopping. Until you actually do buy something,” Jay confirmed with a cheeky grin and nudged Kili's side again. Then he stepped into the elevator and led Kili out of the hotel, looking pleased with himself. “I'm pretty sure you'll find something. If not, I'll just take you to the store the others and I took Fili to get your.... first presents.”

Kili shook his head and walked out of the elevator after Jay. "You plan to get me into one of those shops? I'd say good luck." He teased pushing his hands in his pockets as he pushed the door open with his shoulder.

“He managed to surprise you with them, didn't he? And from what we've heard and were able to put together, you enjoyed the presents greatly. Why not get more? No shame in that,” Jay hummed and walked outside, looking up at the sky.

Kili knew that Jay had a point in that, but actually entering one of those stores seemed like a challenge alone. "We'll have to see, if we even find one of those stores."

“No pressure,” Jay agreed and pointed down the road. “I know the stores are down in that direction. Let's go there, they have a pretty big mall over there, too.” Jay had gone out the previous evening to check out the city in advance and actually got to talk to a couple of fans who recognized him.

"Sounds like a plan." Kili replied smiling, walking down the street where Jay had pointed at. "Can....Can I ask a question?"

“Kili, you're not usually this shy about asking for things or voicing your opinion.” Jay blinked but gave Kili a serious look. “Ask away.”

"It's just..." Kili hesitated, looking at Jay as he pushed his hands deeper in his pockets. "...Fili...he's had an awful lot of photo shoots lately, hasn't he?" He asked silently.

“...yeah.” Jay couldn't lie about something this obvious. Fili had been in high demand lately and Jay was happy that he, and Jack, were finally getting more recognition but Fili sometimes left the hotel at the oddest times. Once, Jay had joked that Fili was probably posing in pictures with pretty women but the other man had only given him a flustered look.

Odd.

The simple word twisted inside of Kili and he had to swallow thickly. He knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he couldn't help but feel unsure. If Fili really did need someone else than him...He shook his head quickly. No, Fili wouldn't. He wouldn't.

Jay caught the look in Kili's eye and nudged his side again. “Hey now. I'm sure it's nothing. And he never looks exactly happy when he gets back. I know Thomas, Fi's probably getting worked to the bone now that he's getting more popular, Thomas will milk that for all it's worth.”

"Yeah, that's probably it." Kili tried to smile, trying to ease the weight in his heart. It had to be it, he refused to believe in any other reason. "Alright, so, show me the stores." He finally said with a grin.

Jay smiled and showed Kili around the stores, stopping at the ones he'd seen before and pointing things out to Kili. Then came the mall, where Jay, rather amused, bought their new single and mocked their poses on the cover relentlessly to cheer Kili up. Finally, he dragged the man back outside and towards where he knew the naughtier stores were.

"I'm really not sure this is a good idea." Kili said as Jay took the directions of the naughty store.

“We'll just take a quick look. If nothing interests you and if you get uncomfortable, we'll leave right away,” Jay reassured Kili as he opened the door to one store and stepped inside.

"Oh god." Kili whimpered letting himself be lead to the store where he openly gaped at...well, everything. He recognized a few toys from what they already had, but his curiosity, as always, lead him further in the store an exploring what else he might find.

Jay trailed after Kili and occasionally pointed things out to him, like the colorful variety of fake cocks, then to another part small vibes and more toys.

"This beats me. What the freaking hell is this?" Kili asked lifting the box from the shelf that seemed to hold a toy that looked like a tentacle. It thinned to the tip and it was crooked a bit, and it only served to amuse Kili. "You can't be serious, this actually is meant to feel like something?"

“Those feel pretty amazing, according to my old girlfriend,” Jay grinned and took the box from Kili. He examined it and then gestured to the other tentacles, all in different shapes and sizes. “Apparently, the round spots feel really good and cause additional stimulation. Plus, they can go pretty deep so if you're into that sort of thing...”

Kili lifted an eyebrow as he looked at the different boxes and sizes, curiosity lifted from Jay's words. Additional stimulation and deep sounded like a great combination after all. "Huh. I guess we'll get a good laugh if nothing else."

“If nothing else,” Jay agreed with a nod and then smirked. “Pick one out, Kili. Or several, whatever you think is best. I do like the violet one up there. Could go pretty deep, from the looks up it. Plus, all those mounds? Kind of big. Should feel pretty good.”

"I trust you on this. I'll let Fili kick your ass if it only causes pain." Kili snickered reaching to the top of the pile and took the box with the violet tentacle. Jay had a point, it looked like it'd feel heavenly if it really worked. "I guess I'll just stick with this for now."

Jay rolled his eyes. “Sometimes, I wonder if he doesn't treat you like glass in the bedroom,” Jay half joked and took the toy from Kili to go and pay for it.

"What do you mean by that?"

Jay only shook his head in reply and paid for the toy, then walked back to Kili. “Let's go. With some luck, Fili will be back already.” He doubted it, he had seen Fili's schedule but perhaps there would be a nice surprise waiting for Kili after all.

Kili smiled a bit unsure, shaking his head. That indeed would have been a surprise, if he'd be there already. Fili had been gone so much lately, it worried him. He took the bag which held the toy thankfully, walking back to the hotel.

Fili's day so far, had been rather busy. Photo shoot after photo shoot, a quick lunch with the photographer and Thomas before the shoot continued. Then he'd given an interview and while another one had gotten scheduled, there had been some conflicts and Fili had indeed gotten to return to the hotel early.

He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He missed Kili and they hadn't gotten much time together lately due to his workload. Finally, a few hours of quality time would probably help both Kili and Fili.

When he heard rustling at the door, Fili stepped out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist and using another to dry his hair. “Kili?”

Kili looked up surprised at the voice of his boyfriend and couldn't stop the smile that spread on his lips. "Hey! I wasn't expecting you to be back just yet." He said kicking his shoes off and shrugged out of his jacket.

“I didn't expect to be back yet either but I'm not complaining,” Fili grinned and walked over to Kili to kiss his slightly cold nose. “I see you went out. Explored the city again?” Fili's heart picked up the pace when he caught sight of Kili's ruddy cheeks and his bright eyes. Gods, how much he'd missed the other.

"Sort of. Jay took me out." Kili explained scrunching his nose at the kiss but he wasn't complaining. It felt nice, and eased off the last of his dark thoughts away. "Just glad you're back."

“Took you out where? Got to see a lot of places?” Fili grinned excitedly but at the same time, it hurt. The knowledge that he hadn't been the one to go with Kili like this irritated him. He'd have to tell Thomas in the morning that he wanted less jobs. He wanted to focus on Kili.

"To the mall mostly." Kili replied yawning a bit and smiled at Fili. "And also..." He lifted the bag up with red cheeks, smiling sheepishly. "He might have dragged me in a certain type of a store..."

“Again?” Fili groaned, then laughed and stepped to the side to let Kili walk into the room a little more. “Don't we have enough of these already,” Fili joked and took the bag from Kili to peer inside curiously. “What's this?”

"I'm not even sure, but Jay say he's heard those thing feel good. So I figured why not, we could try and have a good laugh at how it looks like if it doesn't work on us." Kili teased sitting down on the bed, letting his eyes fully rake over his boyfriend's mostly naked body.

Fili smiled and turned to Kili to reply, to make a joke about the shape and consensual tentacle sex but the look Kili shot him made the breath catch in his throat. Suddenly, Fili felt extra aware of the fact that he was naked and he grinned softly, tugging slightly at the towel clinging to his hips. “Like what you see?”

"Mh, I've seen worse. This sight is definitely one of the top five." Kili murmured leaning back against his arms and grinned at Fili, feeling his heart beat a bit faster in his chest. "Your fault for parading here half naked."

“I'm not going to apologize for being half naked.” Fili paused and ran a hand over his own chest, wiping away some of the drops of water. Then he raised an eyebrow and walked over to the bedside, towel sliding a little lower with each step until it barely covered anything at all, allowing the occasional glimpse at the patch of dark hair beneath the towel. “If I'd known you were coming back just then, I wouldn't have bothered with a towel at all.”

"You're a huge tease, did I tell you that?" Kili said his breath hitching a bit as he caught the glimpse of the dark hair leading down between Fili's legs and he licked his lips before looking up at Fili again. As soon as he was close enough, Kili fisted his fingers in Fili's hair and yanked him down, crushing their lips together.

Fili moaned into the kiss and returned it enthusiastically. The angle was slightly awkward so Fili shuffled forward a little bit more, settling down between Kili's legs to kiss the other properly. One of his legs slide through the slid in the towel's side as Fili reached down to wrap an arm around Kili's shoulders.

"Missed this." Kili murmured silently, nipping Fili's lip before tugging it in his mouth and sucked lightly, his other hand sliding low on the warm skin to rest on his hip just above the towel. 

“Missed this, too,” Fili said, voice laced with affection and want. He smiled at the nip and suck and let his tongue dart out to lick at Kili's upper lip once. Chuckling, Fili leaned in for another, deep, wanting kiss, settling down on Kili's lap fully. Then he pulled back a little and cupped Kili's cheek. “Missed you so much.”

"I missed you too," Kili murmured reaching out to slide his fingers through Fili's hair, the weight on top of him reassuring and familiar and melting him completely. He arched up a bit to latch his lips on Fili's neck, sucking on the skin humming.

Fili's eyes slid shut and he moaned, moving his hand from Kili's cheek to his neck to rub it encouragingly. He'd missed Kili laying these possessive marks on him. The old ones had already faded or were almost gone by now. Feeling Kili suck new ones into his skin reassured Fili immensely. “Fuck, Kili...” Fili rolled his hips down in reply to Kili grinding against him.

Sparks of pleasure shot through Kili's body, making him keen softly as he tried to remember the last time they had had time to do this. Fili had been gone so much. He licked the spot he had sucked before choosing another one and bit down on it.

This time Fili whimpered and arched his back. His fingers danced aimlessly over Kili's skin before they dug into his lower back, massaging and petting the skin. Heat flared in his veins and spread through Fili's body, leaving him panting and with a steadily growing erection.

"Someone seems to be in need." Kili murmured rolling his hips up again, trying to ignore the burn of his own erection as he tugged Fili down in another kiss. His hands slid down, under the towel and gently tugged it away.

Fili laughed as his head filled with an endless amount of jokes that he could make now but he smothered his laughter and kissed Kili's forehead instead. “I do seem to be in need of attention. Whoever shall I ask to help me out?” Tenderly, Fili wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulders, reaching down with his free hand to take the towel from Kili to drop it off to the side. “Mhh. Only one person I want. And that person is you.”

The words warmed Kili's heart as he leaned up to press another kiss on Fili's lips, his eyes finding the bag on the bed and lifted an eyebrow. "Shall we try our new tentacle thingy?" He asked teasingly, sliding his lips to nip Fili's adam's apple.

Fili laughed at Kili's words and then swallowed at the touch against his Adam's apple, humming approvingly. “Let's see if it feels really good or really, really silly. Do you want to try it our first, Kili, or should I?” He always gave Kili the choice. He trusted Kili completely and he knew that the other would make the decision that would work best.

"I can try it first. If it's uncomfortable or doesn't feel good, then I don't want you to suffer from a bad choice." Kili chuckled pressing a kiss on Fili's lips and reached out to take the bag closer.

“We can rib Jay about it if it does,” Fili joked and stole another quick kiss and reached down to palm Kili through his pants. With his other hand, he picked up the bag and pulled out the new toy. Unfortunately, he had to stop touching Kili to open the toy up and Fili had to fight a grin at the ridiculous shape. “Hand me the lube, please?”

Kili moved up on the bed, reaching to the bedside table to pick up the lube and handed it over to Fili. He then sat up and started to strip himself out of his clothes, tossing the shirt on the floor and unbuttoned the jeans, tugging them down.

Fili watched Kili for a few seconds before he gave into the temptation and kissed Kili's chest. Once, twice, then he was leaving kisses all over Kili's chest, licking at his nipples and then moving down to trace Kili's stomach with his tongue. Kili arched against Fili's mouth with a low moan, sliding his fingers in Fili's hair and held him close. The hot mouth felt heavenly against his skin, sending goosebumps down his arms.

“I love you, Kili,” Fili said gently and dipped his tongue into Kili's belly button. He teased it for a few seconds before reaching for the lube again. He uncapped it and poured some onto his fingers before kissing further down and beginning to tug at Kili's underwear with his teeth.

Kili's breath hitched and he lifted his hips from the bed, helping fili get rid of his underwear before tugging him up in a messy kiss. He had missed this, feeling Fili so close, to kiss him, to love him like this.

Sighing softly, Fili pushed his tongue into Kili's mouth as he began to circle the pucker with a teasing fingertip. He wanted Kili comfortable, relaxed, happy. And he had missed his boyfriend and had only wanted to curl around him, touch him, listen to him and love him. And Fili was finally getting that.

Unfortunately, Kili wasn't going to get Fili just yet. His hands, his mouth, yes. But they did want to try out the toy so that had priority right now. Perhaps during the second round. Fili pulled away after pecking Kili on the lips one more time, then leaned in to suck on the skin just below Kili's earlobe.

Then gently, he pressed the first finger inside.

Kili arched his back, greedily pushing back against Fili's finger, trying to get it deeper in his body. He shuddered when Fili sucked his earlobe, letting out a keening noise as he dug his fingers on Fili's shoulder as the only grinned and made encouraging noises. He loved it when Kili was loud, when he let himself go. It reassured Fili that he was doing everything right. So he pushed the finger in deeper before pulling it back out and pushed it in again.

"M-More, can take it." Kili panted pleading out for Fili, tightening the grip of his shoulders.

"Already?” Fili frowned but trusted Kili's judgment. Then again, they had done this a couple of times already and perhaps Kili's body had just grown used to all this attention. So Fili sucked Kili's earlobe into his mouth before pressing a second finger inside.

Kili let out a strangled moan at the push, willing his body to relax and welcome the digits in his body. It felt heavenly, he loved the feeling of Fili's fingers spreading him open. He tilted his head a bit, catching Fili's jaw and nipped it playfully earning a yelp of surprise. Fili loved seeing the pleasure on Kili's face, the way it made the other shudder any clench around him. “Gods, Kili, you feel so good around my fingers... Can't wait to see you stretched around the toy.”

"I'm still doubtful about it." Kili admitted with an amused smile as he responded the kiss softly, pushing back against Fili's fingers, silently begging for more.

“If it's not hitting the spots, we can always just stop,” Fili laughed and nuzzled Kili's cheek. He gave in to Kili's remands and moved his fingers, making sure to coat Kili's inner walls with the lube. Then he gave the critical look. The tip was thin... and Kili's body would probably adjust. With a hum, Fili pulled his fingers out and coated the tentacle cock with the lube. “Ready, Kee?”

Kili spread his legs further, giving Fili a nod and drew his lower lip between his teeth. "Let's see if this actually does anything." He grinned widely. Yet he made a confused face as the toy was pushed in him, it felt different from the vibrator, he could actually feel it widen in him as Fili pushed it deeper. 

He could feel the tip scratching and nudging on the walls, as if searching for something and the suckers on the underside of the toy caught on his rim with each push. "H-Hard to say yet, feels a bit weird."

Fili frowned and to take this even slower. The force of his push lessened and he focused on moving steadily until the base settled against Kili's entrance, not able to go any further. 

When the toy was pushed on the hilt, Kili was panting heavily, his eyes half lidded with pleasure. With the tip pressing straight against his prostate with a promising pressure, it kept Kili trembling in pleasure and he shifted carefully, parting his lips to plead for Fili to move it already.

What he got instead was a sudden jolt as the thin tip started to rotate in tiny circles, massaging his prostate steadily and causing Kili to jerk before crying out, his back arching from the bed.

Oh, so this was a good toy. And that had been a good button. With a cheeky grin, Fili reached down to wrap his arms around Kili, holding him close as he devoured Kili's mouth with happy noises. Fili drank in every little gasp of breath, every little whimper and the pleas. All of that was for him.

Kili's fingers clawed on Fili's chest, his breath coming out in short pants as the constant pressure on his sweet spot caused him to remain tense and trembling, spots dancing before his vision. His hips thrust back on the toy, then in the air and he positively mewled. "O-Oh g-g-gods a-abo-ve!"

What a good buy this had been. Smirking, Fili reached down and pressed his hand between the toy and the bed so he could flip the tiny switch again. He moved it to the highest setting and then set out to grasp Kili's cock, stroking it with a handful of quick, hard strokes.

The mixed combination of the toy against his prostate and Fili's hand on him were too much as Kili screamed out in pleasure, his hands slamming on the bed as his body arched, his release hitting on him full forced. His mouth hung open and his body was taunt like a bow, eyes squeezed shut as he continued to tremble and whimper at the continuing assault inside of him.

Fili reached down to turn off the toy as soon as he saw the expression on Kili's face. It spoke of the fine line between pain and pleasure and Fili knew that Kili could topple over into the pain side far too soon. So he flicked the switch and pulled the toy out a little so it wouldn't rub against Kili's prostrate anymore and then nuzzled his nose against Kili's cheek.

"I..." Kili licked his lips, turning his head to nuzzle his nose together with Fili's. "I take my words back.." He smiled happily if a bit dazed, his body still shaking with the aftershocks of his release. "That's the best toy ever."

Fili couldn't help but laugh, clearly amused but Kili's sudden change of mind. He was curious to try the toy now, too, but above all else, he wanted to see Kili writhe a little bit more. So he reached down and turned on the toy again though Fili only flipped it to the lowest setting. And he didn't press it back in completely again. “Mhh. Watching you come was really, really great.”

Kili jolted and gasped in surprise when Fili turned the toy back on. It wasn't deep enough to press straight on his prostate, but it was close enough to send sparks of pleasure through him, his fingers twisting on the sheets as he panted. "F-Fili..."

“Just a few seconds more, Kili?” Fili quietly begged before leaning down to lick Kili's stomach clean. The taste was still weird to him, almost too bitter but he liked tasting Kili on his tongue.

Kili was taken aback that Fili begged _him_ to see him writhe like this, but it felt good despite him just coming once so he let Fili enjoy the sight even if he felt amused that Fili would get off on something like this. He gnawked on his lip as he trembled on the sheets, pulling Fili down in a messy kiss which Fili returned more than happily and wrapped an arm around Kili's neck to support him. 

But as he had promised, after a few more minutes of looking at Kili's flushed cheeks and his dark eyes, the parted, red lips, Fili turned the toy off and carefully pulled it back out.  
And By the time Fili turned the toy off, Kili was well on his way to hardness again and he keened at the loss of the toy. "You're such a tease, fucking hell." He panted trying to curl closer to Fili.

“Only want to see you happy,” Fili said with a sincere look in his eyes before he smiled and cupped Kili's cheek. He could feel Kili's erection against his side and reached down to stroke it slowly, trying to coax it into full hardness.

Kili hissed at the touch on his cock, letting out a moan and leaned forward to press a kiss on Fili's jaw and chin. "S-Shouldn't I...You still haven't come.." he panted moving against him. The flush on Fili's cheeks spread and his eyes darkened. Of course he wanted to come. Of course he wanted Kili to make him come. But he also wanted to see Kili come again. “I can wait. Let me do this for you?”

"Are you sure? Seems unfair." Kili protested weakly, clutching on Fili as he mouthed his shoulder and neck, marking whatever skin he could reach.

“I'm sure you'll return the favor later,” Fili said slyly and kissed Kili on the lips briefly before kissing his way down to suck one of Kili's nipples into his mouth.

"O-Of course but-" Kili panted arching his back to press closer to Fili's mouth and whimpered silently. "Want you closer.."

The admission made Fili's heart race and he smiled, moving back up to Kili's mouth to kiss him. If Kili wanted him closer, Fili was happy to oblige. He draped himself over Kili and pressed his leg between Kili's leg to let him rub against it.

Kili arched his hips with a needy moan, sliding his hands down from Fili's hair to his chest, then to his stomach and down to his hip. He kissed Fili back the best he could, lifting his other leg up to press against Fili. A part of Fili wanted to frown and push Kili's leg away. This was about making Kili feel good and not about making Fili come. 

But then the bassist quietly shook his head as he focused on the kiss, letting his tongue tangle with Kili's. If Fili enjoyed seeing Kili fall into a sea of pleasure, why wouldn't Kili enjoy the same thing?

“I'm here, Kili,” Fili muttered against Kili's lips between kisses. He pushed his tongue into Kili's mouth and sucked at it, tangled his own around it as he pressed himself completely against Kili, chest to chest, leg to leg. With a quiet groan, Fili pulled back and pressed his forehead against Kili's. “All yours to touch. And I'll touch all of you.”

Kili bit on his boyfriend's lip, tugging it slightly as he moaned in the kiss. To feel the weight of Fili on him, feeling him close, a hot, heavy weight, it cause Kili to go lightheaded with pleasure. "All yours. Only yours." Kili breathed out tugging Fili's hair.

“Want me to take you, Kili?” Fili captured Kili's lips in an almost violent kiss and bit down on his bottom lip, licking and nipping and tugging at it before letting it go. “Want me to fuck you until you're crying out my name and letting everyone know that you're mine and that I'm yours?”

Kili's breath hitched at the words and he let out a desperate sound, arching closer to Fili and kissed him hard, hoping it'd convince Fili how much he liked that idea. His fingers dug on Fili's shoulders as he panted, moving his lips on Fili's neck biting and sucking the skin none too gently. "Please, please Fili, please."

“No need to beg for what you already have, Kili,” Fili reminded Kili with a grin and pressed his neck into the possessive marks more than willingly. But he regretfully had to pull away in order to look for the bottle of lube, quickly grabbing it and coating his fingers again before pulling the toy out and shoving two fingers inside, testing Kili's tightness and tearing a startled moan from Kili's lips as he moved down on the fingers immediately.

Fili could guess the reason for Kili's embarrassed flush and only chuckles, moving his mouth down to nip at Kili's chin and to then suckle marks against the light skin. “I don't mind if you ask for something, Kili. If it is within my abilities to give it to you, you shall get it,” Fili reassured and moved his fingers in and out a couple of times before pushing in the third.

Kili flushed deeper red, throwing his head back with a moan as he pushed back against Fili's fingers. It burnt in the best way, making Kili tremble in pleasure as his fingers twitched on the sheets. "F-Fili...need you, please."

Fili agreed to the sentiment with a hum and pulled his fingers out. He used the lube remaining on the fingers to coat his own cock, hissing at the contract. It made electricity tingle along Fili's spine and he had to force himself to stop before he could come. “Got me, Kili.” Fili leaned in and kissed Kili deeply as he lined himself up and began to push inside.

Initially, Fili had promised himself to go nice and slow. But with Kili arching his back into it, with making those tiny little noises and face twisting in pleasure, Fili found it hard to resist. He shuddered and swallowed and keened as he sank completely in into the other.

Kili gasped harshly as Fili bottomed out inside of him, wasting no time in wrapping his legs around Fili's waist. It felt amazing, warm, so much better than the toys they had been using. This felt more close and intimate. He rolled his hips carefully, letting out a whimper of pleasure.

“I got you,” Fili rasped out and wrapped his arms around Kili to hold him close. He didn't even try to move just yet, already too close to the edge of coming. He took a couple of quick, calming breaths and buried his face in the crook of Kili's neck. “Gimme a minute.”

Kili nodded slowly, taking the moment to try to catch his own breath as he swallowed. He felt stretched open and he loved that feeling, and staying still was extremely hard. He closed his eyes trying to focus on the touch of Fili's hand, of the breath against his neck.

After a little while, Fili breathed out through his nose and decided to just go ahead. Having Kili wrapped around him didn't make relaxing easy at all and waiting wouldn't make it any better. Fili just needed to focus on not coming.

Easy, right?

With an almost pained noise, Fili pulled back out and thrust back in, rolling his hips to brush against Kili's prostrate.

Kili arched his back, his mouth dropping over as Fili started to move and thrust against his prostate and keened loudly. It felt so much better than they toys, punching the breath out of him with every thrust Fili gave him, his fingers digging on Fili''s shoulders.

The pleasure on Kili's face was like a drug to Fili. He wanted to watch him, watch Kili twitch and whimper and shudder. Wanted to feel those fingers pressed against his skin and puffs of air hitting his shoulders. But he would come too soon. There was no denying it.

So Fili pulled back out, face flushed, and began to look through the toys they kept in the drawer. With a triumphant noise, Fili pulled out the cock ring. “Help me put this on, Kili?”

Kili looked up surprised but lifted himself up, taking the ring from Fili. He took the lube, using it to slick the ring before slowly sliding it on his boyfriend and Fili shuddered, lips forming a soft 'o' as his hips jerked up. 

"Afraid to end too soon?" Kili asked teasingly, giving the red lips a teasing bite.

“Yes, actually. I am. And I want to feel you come around my cock.”

Kili shuddered at the words, nodding his head to show that he was fully on board with the plan and bit on Fili's lip again, sucking it in his mouth. "Going to be interesting, fucking with the ring on,"

“Tell me if it hurts,” Fili requested and bit down on Kili's upper lip before rolling them back over until he was settled between Kili's legs. Fili exhaled and licked at Kili's throat as he pushed back inside, moaning at the tightness around his cock.

Fili groaned and reached down, pulling Kili closer until he could feel every inch, every hitch of breath. “Let me hear your voice, Kili, please.” He was so desperate for the lovely voice that Fili had missed so much during the last couple of weeks. Frantically, Fili began to thrust, trying to find Kili's prostrate.

And each thrust caused the ring to connect with Kili's rim, making his breath catch and whimper.

“Do you want to get stretched a little wider next time, Kili?” Fili muttered against Kili's ear and licked at his, hips jerking as Fili drank in each gasp and pant and every touch. “Or maybe you want to feel me come inside of you? I'd like that, Kili. Knowing that my come is inside of you. That I managed to make you come because I love you, Kili, I love you so much. Want to see you... want to see you happy all the time.”

Kili gasped harshly at Fili's words, his hips stuttering as his fingers dug deeper in Fili's skin. "W-Want to feel you come in me.." He panted rolling his hips, his eyes opening to stare at Fili with hazy eyes. "Want to be stretched, want to take it all."

“And you are taking it, Kili, you're taking it so well,” Fili praised him and then captured Kili's lips in an almost savage kiss. He ran his hands over Kili's sides as he fucked the other as hard and as fast and as deep as he could, panting harshly.

“Want... want to fill you next time. Plug you up, too.”

"Why can't you come in me now? Or do you want to come on me, mark me?" Kili asked panting against Fili's lips, wrapping his legs around Fili's waist and pulled him closer. Heat was pooling in his stomach, making his toes curl as he tried to voice a warning to Fili.

Both images were making Fili dizzy. He wanted to come inside of Kili so desperately but he wanted to make Kili come first and he didn't feel that it was fair to continue to fuck a relaxed, sated body. And the image on coming on Kili's body, marking him... It felt so animalistic that it made Fili whimper weakly. He couldn't decide, couldn't make up his mind but all that mattered right now was making Kili come. So Fili leaned in and bit down gently on Kili's exposed throat, encouraging him with a moan.

Kili whimpered, his body tensing up under Fili's as he choked out on a moan before coming, his body trembling and tightening around Fili's. He mewled, his eyes open and hazy, come landing on his stomach and hip.

Fili cried out at the sudden tightness around him. It was almost painful. Kili was squeezing his cock, trying to milk it but nothing was coming, the ring starving off the orgasm effectively. Fili sobbed quietly as he thrust a couple more times, the gesture futile before he pulled out and struggled to get the ring off but his fingers were too slippery.

Thankfully Kili was quick to help him, the pleading, desperate noises Fili had let out a clear clue just how bad he was aching. Kili sat up, reaching down to pull the ring off gently but quickly, wrapping his fingers around Fili's cock stroking him quickly. "Your turn, let me see you."

It really didn't take long. Fili was barely able to wrap his arms around Kili before he came with a shout, voice loud and Fili's lips forming Kili's name. Come splattered against his stomach and over Kili's fingers, the pleasure leaving Fili in a rush and leaving him almost blind. There was a thrumming in his ears that threatened to drown out everything else and Fili's fingers twitched helplessly against Kili's shoulders.

Kili stroked him through his release gently, letting go when Fili was spent and pressed gentle kisses on his forehead and cheeks, lowering them on the bed carefully before curling against Fili with a smile.

Fili smiled tiredly at the kisses and the touches and was content to just curl himself up next to Kili. He was exhausted and drained but happy.

Fili was, however, not a happy camper when someone started banging on the door several hours later. From the angry words spoken, Fili could guess that it was Jay and he dragged himself up, pulled on a bathrobe and opened the door. He gave Jay a sleepy look but woke up upon seeing the furious expression on Jay's face. “Jay? What--?” Fili didn't get much further.

Jay punched him right on the cheek and Fili stumbled back, back hitting door leading to the bathroom soon after. The taste of blood filled his mouth and he groaned, raising a hand to cover his cheek. “What the fuck, Jay?!” Fili could barely believe this. He had never thought that Jay would punch him like this, ever. And Fili didn't have a clue why the other had done this, too. “What the fuck did I do to deserve this?!”

“You know what you've done,” Jay raged and slapped the tabloid paper against Fili's chest. Confused, Fili reached down and looked at the headlines. What he saw nearly made his heart stop.

'BREAKING NEWS: ERED LUIN'S BASSIST CHEATING ON HIS BOYFRIEND?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated! :)


	11. Chapter 11

Fili stared at the newspaper, too shocked to react. He felt cold and hot and his breath caught in his throat. Then he swallowed and gave Jay a serious look. “They're making this up. I'd never cheat on Kili, ever.”

The article detailed how Fili had been meeting several nameless beauties during those last couple of weeks, how he was cheating on Kili, how he was dumping his boyfriend. And of course the article was accompanied by pictures.

Kili woke up at the commotion that took over the room, giving Jay and Fili a sleepy look. "Come on guys, it's barely nine. What's got you so riled up?" He asked confused, walking over to where Fili was holding the tabloid, peering at it over his shoulder. At the moment Jack had barged in the room, trying to stop Kili from reading the news but it was too late. Kili had seen the pictures and the screaming headlines and took a step back from Fili, feeling his chest tighten as he stared at the man he loved helplessly.

He opened his mouth, closing it again, no words coming out. Jack shot Fili a dirty look, taking a step closer to comfort the shocked youngster but Kili brushed past him, starting to dress up in silence.

“Kili.” Fili reached for him but Jay resolutely stepped between Kili and Fili, effectively blocking the younger man from view. Fili gave Jay a nasty look and walked around him, throwing the tabloid to the ground. “I'm not cheating on you, I'm not seeing anyone on the side, the tabloid is lying!” Even to his own ears, Fili sounded desperate. But what could he do or say that would make this more believable? He was already telling the truth.

"Yeah?" Kili threw his sock on the ground, turning around to look at Fili his eyes filled with hurt and betrayal. "Is that what you've been doing when you claim to have a photo shoot? A photo shoot where we get absolutely no pictures of. Can anyone prove you were there, Fili. Can they?" He asked turning around again, starting to pack his bag. He was done, his heart was broken and he couldn't stand being close to Fili.

Fili opened his mouth to reply, anger welling up inside of him. He was hurt, hurt that Kili would doubt him like this, leave him over a fake tabloid article. That Jay and Jack and probably Nathan, too, would lash out like this. 

Everything hurt.

But Fili closed his mouth again and gritted his teeth. He didn't have any proof. Thomas always drove him and picked him up. He was usually alone with the photographer. And photographers could be bought oh so easily by the media. “...Thomas is never there during the shoots. It's only me and the photographer,” Fili explained haltingly but he noticed Jay roll his eyes out of the corner of his eye.

“You're so full of shit, Fili,” Jay said heatedly and wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulders to lead him out of the room. “You're lucky that we won't have any more concerts for this tour, I don't think I could stand being on the stage with you.”

That hurt. Fili flinched back and gave Jay a wounded look. “What are you saying?!” 

Years or friendship. A happy relationship. All getting broken over this. 

Jay scoffed and took a couple of steps towards the door. “That you've broken Kili's heart and our trust and that you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Fili snarled and took a couple of steps closer, cheek stinging with each word. “Kili, I'm not lying. I love you. I've never cheated on you. I'd never cheat on you, period. Please... please don't believe the tabloids.”

Kili clutched this bag close to his chest, thankful that Jay was leading him out as Jack pressed a hand against Fili's chest, refusing to let him go further. He didn't want to see Kili hurt more because of Fili.

"You told me the same last night. Said I was the only one, that you loved me. Made me want to believe we had a future." Kili said silently, turning to look at Fili over his shoulder, eyes filled with tears as they slid down his chin and the sight broke Jack's heart. "I should have known better than this." He finished, his voice breaking as he yanked the door open, leaving the room.

“Kili--” Fili tried to dart around Jack's arm, tried to get past what he thought had been his friends but Jay blocked the hallway, stood in the doorway and refused to budge an inch. The tears streaming down Kili's face broke Fili's heart and Fili let out a pained noise as he reached past Jay, trying desperately to prevent Kili from leaving.

It hurt. The betrayal hurt. Jack and Jay not trusting Fili hurt. But that was a mere scratch to the wound Kili's departure was leaving behind. He loved the other man with every fiber of his body and now... Now this was getting between them.

Something broke in Fili's chest and he sobbed, mind barely able to wrap around the idea of living without Kili. But Jay wouldn't let Fili move, only shoved him away from the door a little, too disappointed in his friend and too protective of Kili to let Fili move freely like this. “Don't show your face to Kili anymore, Fili. And don't you dare come running to us in the next few days. You'll get no sympathy from me, you cheating asshole.”

Fili inhaled sharply and he snarled. “Do you seriously believe I would cheat on Kili? I gave everything to him! I love him!” But Jay wasn't listening, instead closing the door and blocking it to let Kili get a save distance away from this raving lunatic.

Kili deserved better.

Outside the room Kili covered his mouth with his hand, working the get the sobs stifled and not let them hear them. It hurt so much, it felt like someone had cut his chest open and torn his heart in pieces. He would have never thought that Fili would cheat on him, but everything spoke against the older man. The proofs were against him.

Kili hoisted the bag on his back and wiped his eyes in the back of his hand, jolting surprised as Jack landed a hand on his shoulder. "Will you be alright?" He asked concerned, running a soothing hand through Kili's hair. "You can always stay, you know. If you want to. You belong to us."

Kili smiled a bit, shaking his head carefully. "I'm sorry, I just...I can't stay. It's too much. I think it's for the best if I go."

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

The next couple of weeks, Fili felt as if he had drowned and was staring up at the world from under the water. Jay, Jack and Nathan had pretty much ignored him the first few days until Thomas had stepped in an inquired, in a tight voice, what the fuck had happened and whether they were really taking the tabloids seriously.

Fili hadn't bothered with answering. He hadn't talked much at all after the tabloid had come out, had gone through practice with mechanic motions and avoided his band members on their request the rest of the time.

But Nathan had finally answered the loaded question and Thomas had rained holy hell down upon them all, had practically breathed fire as he yelled at Jay, Jack and Nathan, had yelled at Fili for not coming to him, for not reacting at all. Fili had only stared blankly, briefly feeling himself get closer to the surface of the water until he lowered himself back in and remained firmly quiet.

Thomas then disappeared to do damage control and left Fili in the awkward presence of his fuming band mates but before one of them could approach him, Fili picked up the instruments and left the room, ignoring the mob of paparazzi outside of the building. He only shouldered through the crowd and ignored the way they snapped pictures of his dull, unhappy face, of the scruff growing freely on his face and of the circles under his eyes.

Fili only wanted to drown. He missed Kili. Kili had become his muse and his music both, had become his friend and boyfriend. Had become someone Fili cherished above anyone else. And having Kili gone hurt more than Fili was able to put into words. He felt like a zombie moving through life. 

Once, he had checked the band's website to see if he still counted as official member after the whole fiasco and an avalanche of accusations, name calling and hate had met him. He hadn't checked the website again.

With the tour over and practice done, they were all finally allowed to leave. Usually, the band spent the evening drinking and laughing and having fun but Fili didn't bother. He grabbed his belongings and flagged down a taxi to drive him home. 

To the safe place. To where he wanted to be.

To where he'd promised to take Kili.

Kili, who was still filling every inch of his life. Kili, who Fili missed dearly.

Meanwhile Kili wasn't even sure how exactly he was still surviving. He had rented a small motel room on the other side of the town and worked in a local cafe under disguise to get some money to be able to move out of the city again. He didn't dare to move in the city by himself, not after he had gotten assaulted by the paparazzi, startling Kili out of his dark haze and the questions causing him to break down.

The next morning he saw his own teary face on the newspaper, with the text "Fili's ex heartbroken!" and screamed tearing the paper in small pieces, falling on his knees crying. He did miss Fili, that was true. But after he had walked out of that room, he hadn't heard of any of them and it just caused him to hurt more, to curl in the loneliness by himself. He felt uncared for, like he never mattered for them.

Kili tried to cheer himself up by telling himself that he would be able to leave the city in few days, if he just could handle this madness for just a while longer.

He wasn't exactly sure how or why Kili had ended up in the site few days later, watching the live stream of a show about to start in mere minutes. A show that would hold Fili as a quest. Maybe he was a masochist and just wanted to see the male just once more before moving on.

It had been Noelle's work and research that had finally cleared everything up. She had been out of the country had all this had gone down and when she returned to find her brother heartbroken, she had rained down fire in her own way. She researched. Looked at the pictures. Asked friends with connections until finally finding the answer in her own Facebook. 

Someone had hacked into it and taken her private pictures with her brother and edited them heavily, had replaced heads and people and places. But she had found a match for almost every picture.

And then she had given them to Fili, to let him decide what to do with the information.

And Fili had decided to handle this himself. Not Thomas talking to the press. No Jay or Jack or Nathan around for company. He would do this himself. Quietly, he contacted one of his old high school friends, who ran a rather successful podcast show and asked if he could help him explain the situation and to defend himself.

Thankfully, the friend had agreed and a few days later, Fili found himself sitting on a couch, pictures in the envelope resting on his lap. He had shaved and made an effort to look decent but there were circles under his eyes and a small, grim twist to his mouth that was unlikely to ever disappear again. But he had pulled himself out of the water and filled himself with new fire, a fire that burned bright and hot.

The show started off serenely, the situation getting explained and Fili adding his own two cents. Then he presented the pictures from the tabloids and placed the pictures from his sister's Facebook next to them, pointing out the edits and changes. The little things people had forgotten to edit. Fili remained calm and level headed through his explanation, told his friend to even link to his sister's Facebook so the people watching could check the pictures out themselves, if they so desired.

But the next couple of questions made Fili's throat clog up and he lowered his head, hands twisting in his shirt. “...I miss him. Of course I do. He means the world to me, Patrick. I've never been happier than when he was with me. Kili is... was what made me smile. He still does.”

Patrick nudges Fili's leg with his own and gave his friend a concerned look. “How did you cope with the loss? How much did this hurt?”

Fili raised his head with a tired laugh. “A lot. It hurt a lot, especially because of the reactions of my friends... and the fans. And because Kili believed them over me though I can't blame him.” He shrugged briefly and ran a hand through his hair. He'd cut off the dyed hair a long time ago and now Fili felt a little naked. A little less there.

“As for how I coped with it... I wrote songs. I played my guitar.” Fili smiled briefly and stood up, reaching down to pull up his guitar. Patrick grinned and gestured over to a microphone. “Knock yourself out.” Fili laughed quietly and stepped up to the microphone. “Yes Sir.” He played a couple of strings and then began to sing.

Kili didn't even register that he was moving before the cold air hit his skin, as he had not bothered with grabbing a jacket for the distance. The more Fili had presented proofs that the pictures were indeed very heavily and very professionally photo shopped, the more Kili's heart sunk as he started to tremble. 

Fili had spoken the truth all the time. He had been faithful, but he himself had been too blind from the grief and pain to believe what Fili was saying. They had all turned against him that day, and it was obvious that Fili still suffered, still... still loved.

He knew the studio where they were, had seen it on his way to work and now he was running towards it. His lungs burned, heart raced and chest ached as he forced his legs to carry him to the building, to Fili.

Only when he had managed to push past the security did he realize that he had no idea what to say, or if Fili even wanted to see him. It was a brief thought that flashed through his mind before he was pushing the door open, gasping for breath. His cheeks were bright red and eyes wet as he leaned against the door trying to catch his breath to speak properly. 

"I...I-I'm sorry....I'm sorry I b-believed--!" He panted staring at Fili with pleading eyes, feeling like collapsing any second now.

Fili had stopped singing and he and Patrick had moved on to discussing his musical career again when the door slammed open and Kili stood in the doorway. For a few seconds, Fili didn't move. Then he practically flinched away from the cameras, away from Kili as the bassist began to tremble.

Thankfully, Patrick had a better head on his shoulders and he quickly put the stream on a pause before getting up and walking over to Kili. “Go in. Talk to him. The cameras are all off and I'll go and get coffee now. Might be gone for a while.”

Kili shot him a thankful look, looking over at Fili as he swallowed and took a caution step forward. He was hesitant, because he hadn't missed the way Fili had flinched when he saw him and a part of him broke all over again. "I..." Kili looked unsure, biting on his own lip as he stared at the floor.

"...I wanted...wanted to apologize for believing those pictures...for not trusting you back then." Kili said silently, running his hand through his hair nervously. "I was hurt, and I didn't see the truth that was hidden behind your words." His shoulders slumped a bit and he swallowed back the tears. "Guess I just wanted to let you know that before I go."

“Stop.” Fili was angry. Really, really angry. He wanted to yell at Kili, to rage and to scream until his voice broke. But what good would that do? What would that accomplish? Instead, Fili swallowed all of it down, all of the pain and the anger and the hurt. Instead, he shot Kili a tired smile, hoping it didn't look as shaky as it felt.

“Stop running away, Kili. Especially when we're not finished talking. Sit down. I'm not going to cut off your head. Or punch you in the face.” Fili's cheek throbbed at the memory of Jay's punch and he sighed. “...a hug would be nice though.”

Kili didn't need another invitation, he had crossed the room in mere seconds and pulled Fili close to himself, burying himself against the older male. He couldn't keep the tears away this time, feeling them fall down his cheeks as he sniffled silently, fisting Fili's shirt with his fingers. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to hurt you, never wanted to hurt you." Kili babbled between the hiccups.

Yes, Kili had hurt Fili. Had kept him up during the night. Had kept him from sleeping or functioning properly, from being happy with himself. But these were all things Kili didn't need to hear, ever. Kili needed comfort. Reassurance. Love.

Slowly, Fili wrapped an arm around Kili's shoulders. He didn't allow himself to cry. Not when Kili was already spilling so many tears. “I'm fine, Kili. I'm not broken. No need to apologize,” Fili said quietly, holding Kili close to himself.

He should be feeling happy. He should be feeling sad, pleased, angry, relieved. But mostly, Fili felt numb. Shocked.

"You are! You have huge circles under your eyes and a dull look in your eyes! You don't smile, you just...are. Like a robot." Kili whimpered silently, shaking his head before burying it against Fili's neck. "I hurt you by not trusting you, I hurt you by leaving, I hurt you for accusing that you could--" Kili choked on the words, tightening his hold of Fili. "I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you."

“We all make mistakes, Kili.” Fili shook his head and began to run a hand through Kili's hair, fingers tangling with the dark locks. But the gesture was soothing, calming and Fili sighed softly, the tension draining out of him a little. Patiently, he spent a couple of minutes his petting Kili's hair.

He still felt numb. He still felt tired. And Fili doubted that it would so easily go away within hours or days. “...but we can't let them eat us up, Kili. You can't let this eat you up.”

"I just--" Kili choked on his words, trying to get out what he meant, how he felt. "I feel like I could strangle the one who's responsible of the pictures." He whispered silently, leaning in the touch in his hair gratefully.

“Not worth it, Kili.” Fili shook his head and swallowed thickly. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Kili's hair, making a couple of soothing noises. Yet, he didn't dare kiss any part of Kili. It didn't feel right.

“Whoever did it is not worth any of the tears you're spilling, Kili.”

"Not worth it? Of course it's worth it. Look what it did to us." Kili said his voice pained, letting out a soft sob. "What about your tears? Your pain?" He asked silently, looking at Fili shaking his head.

Fili swallowed again and looked to the side, unable to meet Kili's eyes. How could he explain that Fili had felt mostly numb from the moment Kili had left and his band members had treated him like that. Of course he had felt sad. Of course Fili had felt pain, a whole lot of it. Enough to keep him up at night.

“Thomas will find out who did this and sue them for everything they're worth and then some, I'm sure.”

"It's still not fixing us." Kili said silently, not wanting but having to take a step away from Fili to give them both a bit more space. "What will we do? I would understand if you wished us to...move on."

“I can't decide what you'll do, Kili.” Fili placed his hands calmly on his own knees to hide the way they trembled. But he managed to make himself look at Kili even if he feared the rejection he would probably find on Kili's face. “But I want to continue this, if we can.”

Kili let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding as he stepped forward, clutching Fili's hand in his own. "I want it more than anything." He wanted to fix this, he wanted to build their relationship to the way it was.

Fili's eyes darted up to Kili's face and then down again. His shoulders trembled a little but he managed to stand up and wrap his arms around Kili, quietly pulling the other closed. “Okay. Let's try. ...I'm sure Patrick won't mind if we leave though I'm sure Thomas will burst a vein when he finds out I did this. Didn't really inform him or the others.”

"He can handle a few days without you, you have no tours, right?" Kili murmured silently, wrapping his own arms around Fili's waist and buried his face against the older man's shoulder.

“No, nothing. No plans with the boys either.” Fili didn't want to mention their current situation to Kili. The younger man would just blame himself again. “Next tour is scheduled for next year and right now, there are no plans to release another single or something like that. I have time off now.”

"Alright, that's good." Kili murmured silently, turning his head a bit to breathe against Fili's neck. "What are we going to do?`Escape somewhere?"

“We're not running off to Vegas to get married, Kili,” Fili joked and pulled away at the first touch of breath against his neck. It felt far more intimate than it should. Made Fili feel vulnerable. “But I told you about the cabin I own, right? We can go there.”

Kili rolled his eyes at the joke, nodding his approval at the mention of the cabin. It would suit them well, few days with just the two of them. "I think that sounds like what we need."

“Then let's go.” Fili smiled quietly as he reached for Kili's hand, taking it before making his way to the door. On the way out, he explained the situation to Patrick, who was smart enough to know that a mob of fans was outside, just waiting to get in. So he gave Fili the key to his car, parked in the underground garage of the building and Fili took it gratefully.

Kili shot Patrick a thankful look, excusing himself for stealing Fili like this and that he'd make it up later before following Fili to the underground garage and the car. Fili was silent during the ride. It was a long one, three hours, and Fili was happy to see the cabin, dusted with snow, waiting for him. He hadn't called ahead to ask his sister to light the fire and turn on the heater but Fili didn't care. It would give them something to do.

A little unsure, Fili turned to Kili after turning the car off. “...do you want the guest room or do you want to stay with me?”

"Whatever is more comfortable with you." Kili replied looking at the cabin curiously for a moment before turning to look at Fili. "Maybe guest room at first? It's been...weeks since we were under the same roof."

Fili nodded and opened the car door to step outside. The snow crunched beneath his shoes and the cold made Fili shudder. He quickly made his way over to the cabin and opened the door, holding it open so Kili could walk inside.

Kili was quick to follow him, wrapping his arms around himself to shield against the coldness that greeted him. But aside from that, the cabin looked comfy. It wasn't too big, but big enough to hold a small kitchen, the living area, what he assumed was the bathroom and the bedrooms.

And the living area had an open oven, which Fili was clearly appreciative of. He quickly walked over after closing the door behind Kili and crouched down to light the fire. Fili smiled at the sight of the merry little fire dancing and turned around to face Kili. “Do you want to shower first?”

Kili smiled at the sight of the fire, looking at Fili surprised before shaking his head. "I'm fine, thank you. You can take the shower, I'll keep the fire alive."

“Alright.” Fili stood up and dusted his knees off before making his way over to the bathroom. It was small, yes, but still big enough to hold a bathtub combined with a shower. Happily, Fili shed his clothes and entered the tub to stand under the shower of quickly warming water.

Kili took a seat before the fire, absently poking it with the long iron fork and adding more wood when it threatened to die. The small cabin started to warm up quickly and he relaxed, gazing in the dancing flames.

Fili took his time with the shower. He cleaned his hair and his body and then Fili found himself sitting down. Found himself covering his face with his hands, sobbing. He felt as if he wasn't even in his own body anymore, watching this happen from a vantage point. But there was no denying that it was happening. He sobbed again and then the tears began to fall, frame shaking and body rocking back and forth as the stress, the pain and the fear all gained the upper hand and rushed at Fili. It had been a long handful of weeks.

Half an hour later, Fili dragged himself out of the shower. He looked at his own reflection and sighed. Now he had red rimmed eyes to go with the dark circles. Wonderful. He pulled his shirt and his pants back on and walked out into the living room, half expecting Jay to come in and punch him again.

Kili lifted his head up from the text he had been reading when Fili joined him and opened his mouth only to close it at the sight of how tired Fili looked like. "...Fili?"

“Yes?” Fili rubbed his eyes and gave Kili what he hoped passed as a smile and settled down on the couch, picking up a blanket and bundling up underneath it.

"Are you alright?" Kili asked carefully, closing the book and settling it on his lap.

Fili opened his mouth to reassure Kili. Then he closed it instead and shivered despite the warmth in the room. Slowly, he shook his head and closed his eyes. “No. I'm not alright, Kili, I'm... I...” Tears welled up in Fili's eyes and with a curse, he wiped them away, angry with himself.

Kili stood up immediately, and leaving the book on the floor he walked over to the couch kneeling in front of him. "Fili. Talk to me." Kili pleaded looking up at the older man.

Fili pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. Then he took another. And another. Finally Fili pulled his hands away from his eyes to look at Kili. His sight was blurry and tears were sliding down his face. “I was scared, Kili. I'd lost you and the others-- They didn't talk to me. I felt as if I'd had lost everything.”

Kili reached out, hesitating a moment before placing his hand on Fili's knee, shaking his head. "It..I know it's a mess. It's a huge mess. They would have acted the same way if an article like that would have been written of me. Well, I think they might actually kill me. But aside the point, you...you haven't lost me. I'm here, aren't I? And if Thomas is going to spread these news like you said, then he will also talk to the others."

“The boys have grown attached to you, Kili,” Fili said bitterly and wiped at his eyes again. “They wouldn't have treated you like that. They'd have just sent you away. They wouldn't have--” Fili cut himself off and shook his head, looking tired. “...I don't know if I want to be around the others anymore,” Fili finally confessed. He felt so selfish. But it felt as if their friendship had been bitterly tainted by the events. Fili squeezed his eyes shut as he grasped Kili's hand.

"We'll figure it out. One day at the time. You have me, Fili." Kili said silently looking at Fili with a tiny smile. "We'll find a way."

It was true. Fili had Kili. But, Fili asked himself bitterly, tired from all the events and the heartbreak and the mend, for how long? Fili sighed and scrubbed at his eyes before he stood up. “I'll head off to bed now. You're... you're welcome to join me or go to the bedroom or whatever makes you comfortable.”

Kili released his hold of Fili's hand as he stood up and nodded in understanding. "I'll...think of it, use the bathroom and all that."

Fili nodded and left the blanket on the couch before making his way over to the master bedroom, soon curling up under the covers. He only hoped that sleep would come soon this time around.

Kili did a quick stop at the bathroom, washing his face and stared at his reflection for a long moment. He missed Fili, he really did. But he wasn't sure how he would react if he would join him in the bed. But a part of him feared that Fili would take him not being there as a sign that he didn't want to be close to him.

The blond let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding when Kili slipped inside the bedroom. He wouldn't have blamed Kili if the other would have decided to sleep in the guest room after what had happened today but he was more than happy to see Kili in the master bedroom. Quietly, Fili scooted to the side to make space for Kili before he lifted up the blanket, a silent invitation.

Kili smiled thankfully, sliding in the bed beside Fili and looked at him with a hesitant look. "I hope this is not bothering you." He said silently, curling under the blanket.

“Not at all,” Fili reassured Kili and closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he noticed that he was becoming drowsy. Perhaps Kili's presence was all he had needed to get a good night's rest. “I'm glad you're here.”

"So am I. Thank you for giving us another chance." Kili murmured silently, his fingers itching to reach up to touch Fili's arm or fingers or anything, but he didn't dare to.

Fili hummed sleepily and extended his arm a little. Not too much since he didn't want to get too close to touch Kili, in case the other wouldn't like that. But it was an offer, a clear promise of an affectionate gesture. And Kili let out a shuddering breath and took the invitation immediately, curling his fingers over Fili's own and gave them a gentle squeeze. 

The hand underneath his own was warm an comfortable, giving him hope of the future. Fili returned the squeeze gently and smiled, shuffling a little closer before finally letting sleep capture him and drag him away.

Hours later, Fili was awoken by a soft, buzzing noise. Groaning he buried his face in the pillow for a second before he scooted to the end of the bed. He knew who was calling without having to look at the name. As Fili answered his cellphone, he stepped out of the bedroom, still utterly exhausted. “Morning Thomas.”

"Where the heck are you Fili? You left after the stream and no one has heard about you! You're not driving only me insane, but also the others of the band." Thomas said sternly, a hint of concern dripping in his voice. "Are you alright?"

“I'm fine, Thomas,” Fili soothed, immediately feeling guilty for having worried Thomas. And the others, apparently. “I'm... I'm fine.” The repeat calmed Fili's nerves somewhat and he settled down on the couch. “I'm at my cottage. You know, the one up north. Kili's with me.”

There was a moment of silence. "Kili's with you? Well what do you know, I should have seen this coming. The others will be thrilled to know that you're alright, and not alone. They've all worried of you, kiddo."

Fili didn't answer for a while, just licked his lips and thought about how to reply. “...I'm sure they are. You can tell them that we're both alright and that we've made up. We just want some time off to see if... if this will still work after everything that's happened.” It wasn't as diplomatic as Fili had hoped but he was only human.

"Will do. You're lucky you have nothing scheduled or I'd have your head." Thomas said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "...Take care, both of you." He finished just as Kili stirred, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“We will,” Fili promised quietly and ended the call, then shifted on the couch to peek into the bedroom. The sight of Kili stirring made him smile briefly and he stood up. “Morning, Kili. Do you want pancakes for breakfast?”

Kili looked up giving him a sleepy smile. "Sounds good." He rasped licking his dry lips and wrapped the blanket around himself before standing up, cocooned in the warmth of the blankets.

Fili nodded and ran a hand through his hair, tiredness and low blood pressure kicking in again. He shuffled towards the small kitchen and busied himself with making blueberry pancakes. He nearly burned himself once but ultimately, he managed to pile several pancakes onto a plate and carried it to the bedroom.

Kili, who had managed to dress up instead of staying in the warmth of the blanket looked at Fili and the plate surprised. "Y-you didn't have to...I could have come to the kitchen to eat." He said softly, accepting the plate with a soft smile.

Fili only hummed and went back to the kitchen to fetch a glass of freshly pressed orange juice. Thankfully, he had stocked up on food a couple of days ago so they wouldn't need to go shopping just yet.

Satisfied, Fili shuffled back towards the bedroom and sat down on the bed. “Enjoy your breakfast, Kili.”

"I already am. They taste amazing." Kili hummed happily, eating on the pancakes as he cut off a piece on the fork and held it for Fili. "Come on, taste it yourself."

Fili leaned in and pulled the pancake piece from the fork with his teeth, chewing thoughtfully. He could have gone with a little less sugar... maybe some orange stripes, too. “'s good,” he said with a yawn and wrapped himself up in the blanket.

"It is." Kili agreed smiling, watching Fili fondly. "You seem tired, should you sleep a bit more." He said softly, placing the now empty plate on the bedside table.

Fili shook his head and gestured towards the window. Snow was covering the ground, loads of it, and Fili wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity to play. “It snowed. I'm not going to sleep when I have the chance to go outside and mess around in the snow.”

The logic was fool proof.

"Oh." Kili staggered up from the bed and pressed his nose against the window, his breath fogging the window. "Oh. oh I know what you're talking about, can we go now, can we go now?" Kili asked turning to look at Fili before faltering. "I don't have any clothes for a weather like this here though."

Fili got up with a grunt and walked over to the closet set into the wall. He opened it and pulled out a change of winter clothes for Kili. Obviously, they did belong to Fili but surely, Kili would be able to wear them, too. “Wear this.” Fili was still too tired for long sentences.

Kili beamed at that, taking the clothes thankfully as he started to dress up in the winter clothes. They were a bit big for him, but he knew that it would keep him warm in the snow.

Following Kili's example Fili got dressed and by the time he had pulled on a hat and a pair of gloves, he felt a little more awake. Grinning, he turned to Kili and held out a hand. “Shall we?”

Kili smiled at the gesture and slipped his hand together with Fili's and let himself be lead outside. He gasped at the sight of the untouched snow, taking a step into it and made a noise of surprise as he sunk in it knee depth.

Fili laughed at Kili's surprised expression and jumped right into the snow next to him. “Yeah, it snows pretty heavily up here. I got a bigger car in the garage to brave all this snow but for now, we should enjoy ourselves.” Gleefully, Fili flopped down, back first, to make a snow angel.

Kili shot him a surprised and amused look before following Fili's example and flopped stomach first on the snow. He laughed at the feeling, his arms sinking in the snow and giving him a hard time to get up again, laughing as he tousled around.

“And there goes the perfectly pristine snow,” Fili laughed and squirmed around a little before his eyes lit up and he pushed himself upright. “We should build an igloo, Kili.”

"Igloo? Count me in." Kili grinned starting to push snow together in a pile, shooting a grin at Fili.

Fili crouched down to help, grinning happily as he looked at Kili. It was a good day after all. Sunshine. Snow. Being able to be with Kili like this. Things were starting to look up again. And perhaps, everything would work out for the better.

Kili met Fili's eyes with a matching smile, having to stand up to smooth the snow to carry on more weight without falling apart, and slowly the igloo started to form in the yard. The hours passed and just when the sun began to sink a little, Fili stepped back to look at their masterpiece. It was a little bit crooked but it was perfect. Snug and comfortable looking and with enough space to hold both of them comfortably. “Wanna go in?”

"I hope it's not going to fall on us." Kili chuckled but he was a bit proud of what they had done and he was happy to slip inside the igloo, settling himself comfortable.

Fili followed Kili inside and settled down. He prodded one of the walls a bit but seemed satisfied that the small building wasn't going to crash down on them. He relaxed and shot Kili a pleased look. “It's going to hold.”

"It better." Kili chuckled shooting him an amused look. "I'd rather not meet my dead by suffocating in a snow igloo." He teased curling a bit closer to Fili to keep the coldness away. The igloo was great for keeping the wind away, but it still didn't stop him from getting wet or cold.

Fili shot Kili an amused look and shuffled closer as well, wrapping an arm around Kili's shoulders to help keep the other man warm. “That won't happen, Kili, we'll be fine.” At least Fili was rather convinced that they would be.

But it was nice, this tiny place of their own. No people to bother them for pictures or interviews. No band mates coming in to tease and to joke and to pry.

Kili let out a content noise and snuggled closer to Fili, nibbling on his own lip. He felt good, happy, but he still wasn't exactly sure where they stood right now. He tilted his head a bit to look at Fili from under his lashes, opening his mouth, then closing it again before he cleared his throat. "Do you...Can I.." He licked his lips, his cheeks flushing.

“Pretty sure you can be a lot of things, Kili,” Fili teased but then his expression grew serious and he gave Kili a curious look. “What's on your mind?”

"I just want to kiss you right now." Kili murmured looking at his boyfriend shyly, nibbling his lower lip again. "It's just....I-I don't know what you're comfortable with doing or anything, not even sure where exactly we're standing.."

“I did say that I wanted to try again but... we might want to start again.” Fili smiled as he nuzzled Kili's cheek and then leaned in for a slow, sweet kiss. It didn't last very long and when he pulled away, Fili was smiling. “Hi there. I'm Fili and I'm your boyfriend.”

The kiss had been short, but sweet and so full of promises that it made Kili's heart ache. He would not let anything t between them anymore. Not photoshopped pictures, not whatever it was the others could throw at them.

He couldn't stop the stupid smile from forming on his face as he chuckled and pressed a tender kiss on Fili's nose. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kili, and I'm your boyfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this AU! Do let me know in the comments what you thought about this, it would be much appreciated~


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